Ok, I need the community to tell me if I am as big of a jackhole as "Karen" (name changed for obvious reasons) made me out to be.
Here's what happened:
I wanted to cap Eviscerate on my warrior, but didn't want to wait until Hell's Precipice to get it, so I opted to shoot for Tanzit in SF. Wiki told me that he spawns on the Oro quest, so I joined an Oro quest group. (I would've just done a farm run, but I have 0 exprience at stance tanking so I figured it wouldnt go well.)My mistake, which I fully acknowledge as a mistake, was not telling my group that I had a desire other than the main quest objective. Note that I had not intended on ditching the party after capping, and I tried to explain this to Karen, but- nevermind, that's later.
So off we go. It was actually not me that directed the party into the cavern where Tanzit had so conveniently spawned, though I suspect that Karen assumed that I did. It was the place where there are Dredge's and some stairs, and then it leads off into that tree-ish area. Tanzit sat at the bottom of the stairs. We killed off all but Tanzit's mob before anyone questioned why we were going that way, since that isn't where Oro goes. I announced that I wanted to cap from Tanzit, and being that he was so close, it wouldn't take long. I even begged, but alas they all headed the other way. Right about then was where the confrontation with Karen was born.
I should point out that our healer dropped from the party right after leaving Tanzit behind. I should also point out that although I feel Karen severely over-reacted to my wrong-doing, she never swore, which is something she should take pride in. Thumbs up to that!
So, Karen starts going off at me about how I shouldn't abandon loyalty for my own greed. At that point, I admit that I didn't see the error of my actions. I don't think anyone believed me when I told them I had not intended on dropping form the party.
To sum up the next few minutes into 3 simple words; (1) We (2) Got (3) Owned. All of a sudden, it was all my fault. Karen said that if I hadn't abandoned the party (when did that happen?) and gone after Tanzit (once again, I didn't lead us there. How could I have even known where he spawned?) then we would not have failed. Personally, I attribute our failure to the fact that we lost our healer and were relying on a bonder to save us, and that we had a couple too many wammos. Once again, I know now that I definitely should have told my party that I wanted to cap, but I still fail to see how a trip to Tanzit's metaphorical doorstep, which incurred no deaths to the party, played a role in our demise.
After dieing a few times, the party fell apart. The leader ported him/herself, me, and Karen back to town, where I decided that, since I couldn't get a word in if I tried, I would not try. I left the party. I found a new group, but discovered that Karen had beat me to it, and sat in the party position above me. After she announced that she would leave the party unless I forfeited my position, I left. I wanted to drop the argument right there, but I just couldn't. I needed to know in perfect detail exactly how my innapropriate failure to inform the team about my alternate goal contributed to the overall downfall fo the team.
She cited my extreme lack of teamwork, my selfishness and my utter abandonment of loyalty to my comrades first and foremost.
I understand that it was wrong of me not to tell the team I wanted to cap, but the fact that the party took a small detour which, by coincidence, was exactly the detour I wanted played absolutely zero role in our death, in my opinion.
Basically what I'm saying with this is that yes, I made a bad move, but Karen really freaked out too much. I was undeserving of such a harsh barrage of unkind words.
Community, I ask you now; Am I an ***hole? Go ahead and be honest, after that lashing from Karen, I can take anything.
C
