Clamor of Souls

Dark, mysterious, visceral and violent - man this story has all the markings of another fine piece of fiction! This is great start - yet another story where I can't wait for the next chap. Why do you people always do this to me???

Not bad! Fix this: "That was slower that usual Yakkai."

Anyhow, the story is captivating. Your narration is decent and you have a flair for dialogue. Very good story, may I suggest that you write some more

Also, am I seeing a Nightfall link here? That cloaked ritualist could have been working for the evil 6th god. This statement "Eh, what weak souls they had. Yet more disappointing craftsmanship by the five gods." pretty much tells me that this is indeed related to Nightfall. Awesome, simply awesome.

Tyvm for the crits on chapter 1 I'm working hard on the second part but midterms are kicking in. I should be able to have something up soon.

Chapter II
A Hand Stained Red
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"Out of the way this one is mine!"

Tien dashed forward in a mad rage, drawing his katana. The brown hooded figure in front of him simply stepped to the side lazily, watching as the arc of Tien's sword cut through the mantid ahead as if it was a piece of fruit on the chopping block.

"Then I'll take this one."

The brown hooded man swiveled in place and a large chained blade attached to the his belt swung in a whistling hurricane, just barely grazing Tien's waist. A leaping mantid exploded in mid-air, sending a shower of green putrid liquid over the side of surprised Tein's face. In a split second, the dunewalker had just impaled the monster on the head of his scythe, leaving the shaft of the weapon resting over Tein's shoulder.

"Gods!"

Tien cursed and jerked his face away from the squirming mantid.

"I think he wants a kiss Tien."

The dunewalker pulled his scythe backwards, bringing the twitching bug's mandibles just inches from Tien's face.

"Ugh! Get it away!" Tien waved his hands wildly and stepped backed into the dunewalker.

"Tien, don't tell me your afraid of a little cockroach?"

The dunewalker began laughing as he whipped his scythe to the side, sending the mantid's body flying out into the open field. A sudden blow to the leg by a bo staff ruined his fun.

"Stop playing around Helmos."

A short woman dressed in blue monk robes emerged from behind Helmos, poking him in the chest with her staff as she spoke.

"Last time I checked we hired a skilled mercenary not a clown!"

The tiny monk brushed one of her twin black pony tails aside as she continued the harass the dervish.

"Maybe I should send you back to the monastary so you can blow some balloons for the kids, or maybe you can pull some rabbits out of a barrel?"

"Hell no, I hate kids." Helmos grunted.

"Good. Then let's go find this nest and take care of it. I'm tired and in a bad mood."

"Ling's always in a bad mood." Tien muttered.

"I heard that." The monk snapped with irritation.

The small crowd made their way through the rolling plains and dawn began to fall, transforming the fields into a glistening orange ocean. Ling lead the group, fiddling with a tiny metallic compass on a silver chain that she wore like a locket necklace. Tien held a small papryus map of Zen Daijun and the two were arguing over directions. Helmos lingered behind the group, gazing out into the fields as the wind drew golden waves across the shifting grains. The fields reminded him of the desert, his eternal sea of buried memories.

Memories that he wanted to keep buried.

*****

The spear came screaming down from the heavens, transforming the ancient dune into a rising torrent of sand.

"Whats wrong Helmos? Where is your strength? Your faith!?"

Helmos cartwheeled backwards, feeling the burning sting of hot sand pelting his body from all sides as he swirled out of the explosion. He landed heavy and tumbled down what was left of the slanting dune, driving the end of his scythe into the sand to balance himself. As Helmos struggled to his feet, the rising cloud before him slowly began to part, revealing the paragon.

"You betrayed us! I swear by the five gods I will bring you down!" Helmos gripped his scythe in anger as he spoke, igniting the rune inscribed blade with soulfire.

The dark skinned Elonian slowly walked forward, his eyes wide with insanity and his lips curling into a demonic grin. Red beads sprinkled unto the hot sands, almost evaporating into mist as they fell from the paragon's blood stained raiment.

"The five gods are dead Helmos! Look around! The land suffers and the souls of the fallen remain misguided!"

Helmos drew his scythe to the side in a striking stance. He had heard enough of this madness.

"They were comrades Radeen! Yet you struck them down from the back like a coward!"

Radeen gave Helmos a stare that burned with insanity.

"They are were all useless Helmos... useless unlike you and I."

Helmos charged forward with a roar, dragging his scythe through the sand and slashing towards Radeen in a sweeping arc. Radeen drove his spear into the sand, blocking the scythe and then stepped back as Helmos arced his blade upwards into the sky with a half moon attack. The insane paragon tilted his head back and grinned as the scythe head just barely grazed his chin in slow motion. The paced quickened and both fighters exchanged and deflected several spinning strikes. With two heavy blows, they became deadlocked blade to blade.

"Tell me! What else have the five gods done but sit upon their holy pedestals and watch this world rot!"

Helmos ignored the rambling lunatic and forced Radeen back with the shaft of his weapon. Radeen flipped backwards into the air and came to a sliding land a good ten feet from Helmos. There was a brief pause and the dust clouds between the two were swept away by the arid breath of the desert.

"If your so damn disappointed in the gods I'll send you to the mists myself! Take your madness to Grenth in the underworld betrayer!"

The dervish grit his teeth and forced himself forward, striking low with a full body swing. Radeen vaulted himself into the air, slowly gliding over Helmos with an elegant aerial. The paragon spoke with a cold, chilling voice as he passed his foe from above.

"The five gods did nothing Helmos... they didn't even save her..."

The dervish suddenly froze.

Ixili... no it can't be.

Strength suddenly left his arms and Helmos dragged the end of his scythe into the sand in mid swing, paralyzed by the sinister angel's words. Radeen landed behind Helmos, showering him with a rain of blood stained feathers.

"I have found a new god Helmos. A god that can change this world."

Radeen's spear whipped past Helmos' shoulder, nicking his neck and drawing a small river of blood. The weakened dervish slowly traced the shaft of the spear with his eyes, tracing the cruel weapon up to its interwoven sunspear emblem and finally reaching the crimson tip. A small pendant dangled from the barbed end of the weapon; an ornate golden pheonix whos wings radiated with the reflections of the desert sun. A chilling whisper grazed Helmos' ear as he fixed his gaze on the shimmering bird before him.

"You can have her back Helmos. Join us and create a world that transcends death."

Faith. Life. Purpose. They all died inside of him. He choked, the air burned like savannah heat as it filled his lungs. With a shaking hand Helmos reached for the pendant, gripping it so tightly that his hand bled. Pure rage flowed into his body and a demon took control. Everything became a red blur and he tore the pendant free from the spearhead. Words became useless and only a agonizing cry sounded as Helmos drove his hand into the barbed design of the spear, forcing it aside.

"So this is your choice then. You are a fool Helmos! I offer you immortality and you spit at my feet!"

Helmos swung wildly at the paragon, spilling arcs of blood in the sand from the deep gash in his hand with each spinning strike. Radeen deflected the savage blows with series of quick twirling parries and grinned as blood splashed over his face and his pearl raiment. Their battle became an opera of rage and insanity.

Balthazar give me strength!
My rage becomes fire!
Heart of Holy Flame!

Helmos chanted as he arced his scythe in a full circle, creating a ring of white hot flames that transformed the clouds of sand around him into crystal mist. Radeen drew his wings before him like a shield and leapt backwards to escape the inferno, trailing lines of black smoke from his seared feathers.

*****

"Ommph!"

Helmos barreled into Lin and Tien. Lin came crashing down the red dirt road and Tien crumbled over her like a broken tower.

"What in Lyssa's! Helmos what the hell are you doing!"

Lin pushed Tien off of her and peeled herself off the dusty road, her robes were stained red with thick chalky smears.

"Look at what you did! How the hell am I going to get this all off!"

The little monk gave Helmos an angry glare and picked her bo staff off the ground.

"Aren't you going to say something?"

The dunewalker remained silent, only giving her a slight glance as if to affirm her existence.

"Hey! I'm talking to-"

The monk drove her bo staff towards the dunewalker, but he caught the end of it with serpentine speed. His grip was like a vice lock, and her own hand began to tremble. The icy cold stare of the man before her shocked Lin; it was as if Helmos she knew had vanished into thin air. Tien quietly picked himself up off the path, pretending not to notice anything was wrong, but inside the young guard's sixth sense tingled with discomfort.

"Helmos..."

Lin lost her words and Helmos' grip on the staff became tighter, causing his whole hand to tremble.

"Helmos you.. you can let go now." Tien stuttered as he spoke, hoping to diffuse the situation.

Helmos snapped back to reality, letting go of the staff.

"Right, sorry."

Lin caught a red smear at the end of her staff. His hand was bleeding and although she didn't want to ask, her natural instinct as a healer forced the question.

"Helmos your hand... are you hurt?"

Helmos turned away, covering his hand.

"I'm fine. This isn't a wound that you can heal monk."

This is amazing work
Cant wait for next chapter

Yes agreed... Amazing chapter.

I can't wait to see what happens next. May I suggest one thing while writing? Now I know that you know of this, and I know this an online message board, but "your" and "you're" have to be differentiated. You know the difference between the two and you wouldn't say "2" instead of "to" or "too", so don't do it for "your" and "you're".

I'm sorry, those were just my two cents. It's just that your story amazing and I want everything to be perfect. That, and I tend to be a grammar nazi at times.

Keep up the good work! Looking forward to the next one!

Ty for crits everyone. I'm working on fixing those mistakes, I need to get MS word :P Midterms held me up but heres a new chap. This one ill have to proof read some more, so ill change errors as i find them.

Chapter III
The Desert Lotus
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"Look! This is it!"

Ling pointed toward a large cave before them. The mouth of the cave was an old rockface bored into a large grassy knoll. Low hums echoed from the depths, almost as the cave itself was breathing.

"How... inviting." Helmos sighed. "Just like the maw of a sandworm."

Helmos stumbled forward as Ling drove a sandel into his rear end.

"Let's let our 'professional' mercenary go scout things out shall we?" Ling smiled and made a gesture toward the creepy cave.

Inside the little monk felt relieved that the tension between her and Helmos had boiled over. The cold gaze that Helmos' gave her at the grainfields still left an unsettling feeling deep inside of her. She only now began to realize she that didn't know anything about Helmos at all. Ever since the dunewalker suddenly appeared in Shing Jea two weeks ago, she had been treating him so coyishly without fathoming how deep the scars of his past really might be... or how he hides them. There was this person in front of her that she felt she knew so well, yet she began to realize that what she 'knew' was simply an illusion she didn't want to admit to herself. The dune walker really was a complete enigma.

"Uhh... right."

Helmos sighed but didn't budge, he seemed to be lost in space again.

"Don't tell me your scared, Helmos! You told me back in Shing Jea that these Canthan beasts were nothing compared to your dune monsters!"

Ling stammered and put on a front; her mind was actually prodding deeper things.

"No use just standing here, we should try to finish this quickly." Tien stepped foward and peered into the mouth of the cave, he then pointed out to the dimming skies in the distance. "Look, night is falling."

Helmos took a glance into the horizon. Just a moment ago the sky was a bright orange, but now he found himself staring into a thin red line that was once the sun. The glowing mark slowly faded over the wavy grass, sealing the day and inviting a blanket of stars.

"Tien, get me the lantern." Helmos made gesture at the young guard as he stepped into the cave's shadow.

Tien nodded and drew a small paper lamp from his pack. He shook the lamp gently and suddenly the orange globe came to life, illuminating the field around him. He then tossed the lamp towards Helmos, who snatched the lamp out of midair. Helmos seemed intrigued by the strange paper object he now held.

"This is neat."

Helmos peered into the lamp to catch the outline of a glowing moth resting along the sphere's inner covering.

"Glowbugs, they are common here in Shing Jea." Ling approached Helmos and tapped the lamp's side with her staff, causing the moth to fluttering around inside. The lamp flickered wildly for a moment and amused the curious dervish.

"Ah look at that! Are all Canthan tools like this?"

Helmos began tapping the lamp like a child playing with a Kendama.

"You Elonians are wierd." Ling laughed.

The young monk gave a Helmos a light smile and nudged him toward the cave. Seeing the big dervish toy around with a lamp like that seemed so out of place, but it also made her feel strangely comfortable. However, a sudden gust of chilling air whipped past Lin to snap her back into reality.

"Now if you don't mind... lets get job done, its getting cold out here!"

She booted him deeper into the cave with her sandal.

"Alright! Don't be so pushy little girl." Helmos grunted as he stepped toward the cave.

Little Girl!

Ling's face went sour but Helmos failed to notice.

I am an instructor of Shing Jea! How dare you!

Ling thought to herself in bitter annoyance. However, on inside she had to admit that there was something about this mysterious desert warrior that made her really feel like a helpless little girl. It was a feeling that she didn't know how to take, since others always acknowledged her as "Instructer Ling" or "Miss Ling." Actually, she found the feeling quite refreshing.

"Hey! You coming!? Or are you just gonna stand there and let us do all the work?"

The dervish's voice was followed by a light echo. Helmos and Tien had already ventured deep into the cave while Ling mused on with her contemplations.

"Ah! Yeah give me a minute! Jeez!" Ling stomped her foot and quickly trotted into the cave to catch up.

"Tien, I don't get that girl... shes all rushy rushy one minute and the next shes off in la la land. I can't believe she's really a monastary instuctor..."

Helmos grumbled as he continued to dredge through the musty cavern.

"She's really alot more serious when shes er... instructing." Tien replied in a whisper, being careful not to let the little monk behind them in on the conversation.

The three explored deeper into the cavern. Rockwalls and twisted limestone glistened as the orange-yellow light of the lamp glazed over the surroundings. From the twisting arches to the hanging spires, the entire cave looked like melting mud somehow frozen in time. A foul stench filled the air as the cavern began to widen.

"Ugh! What is this smell!? It's like a bad Keining fishmarket!"

Ling choked on the thick stench as she spoke.

"Smells like something died in here!" Tien added.

The cave opened into a wide circular chamber. Blue rays of moonlight beamed down from a massive hole in the ceiling and into a deep craterous opening at the center of the room. This part of the cave wasn't natural, something bored it way down here.

"Something did die."

The dunewalker's voice was chilling. Helmos moved the lamp closer the central crater. Its craggy edge was lined the the dismembered bodies of mantids.

"By Grenth's hand! What the hell could have done this?"

Tien panned his gaze over the shredded corpses. The bodies were too mangled to sort in numbers.

"Looks like the Zinfaun even got it." Ling pushed her staff into the plushy mulsh that was once the Zinfaun mantid queen. Green goop streamed off the tip of her weapon as she drew it back with disgust. "Ewwww gross!"

"Looks like something crashed in from above and leveled this whole place." Helmos pointed his hand toward the gaping hole in the cavern's ceiling as he spoke. The bright stars of Tahmu the dragon burned vigorously from the patch of night sky that was visible from the cave's broken dome.

"This would explain why there were so many mantids on the roads to Ran Musu, whatever did this must have flooded them all out of here." Ling's instructor tone seeped into her reply.

"I'll go check out that crater. I wonder how deep this mystery object went." Tien began inching his way toward the edge of the crater, keeping a cautious hand over the hilt of his katana. Gooey crunches echoed through the cave as he stepped over the clumped remains of dead mantids.

"Ling, mend him just in case." Helmos whispered.

The young monk nodded and raised her hand to conjure an enchantment. A blue aura slowly began to envelop her form as she opened a channel to Dwayna, but something was wrong. The energy she was channeling began to flow out of her aura and snaked its way toward the crater's gaping center in pale blue streams. Something was absorbing her magic.

"TIEN GET BACK!"

Helmos rushed forward just as the young warrior began to peer over the edge of the crater. Tien caught sight of a large yellow rune circle as he peered into the deep pit. The pulsating object suddenly flashed with a violent yellow light. Helmos was just barely able to grab Tien and yank him back in time to avoid a powerful bolt of lightning that discharge into the cavern's ceiling.

"Gods!"

Tien scram as the after-effects of the raw lightning tickled his face. He barreled back into Helmos in shock and a shower of rocks pelted the party from above.

"Tien!" Ling gasped in fear and rushed to the young warrior's side, ready to draw an orison at any moment.

"What in Lyssa's name was that!" Tien blurted, still in shock.

"Mindshock... a powerful air conjuration. That bolt would have scrambled your brain Tien." Helmos slowly rose as he spoke and dusted himself. He patted the startled warrior on the shoulder in goodwill before returning his focus to the dark pit. "Whatever that thing is, it's dangerous."

There was a moment of silence between the three. Helmos then reached down to grab a severed mantid leg and tossed it over the crater. There was a loud crackle and a bolt of lightning struck from the gaping void, incinerating the leg in mid-air. The smell of charred chitin filled the air.

"How in Lyssa's name are we going to get past that!" Ling covered her nose to ward the raunchy odor.

Helmos pondered the situation for a moment.

"That bolt was weaker than the last. Whatever was down there must have grown stronger when it fed off of your energy Ling." Helmos replied.

Ling was caught with surprise.

"How did you know that? You aren't a magic user."

Helmos gave the monk a serious glance.

"Just because I don't use magic doesn't mean I don't understand it. I saw the mana being leeched from your body when you went for the mend. That thing is using some sort of energy vortex to power those bolts."

Ling expected Helmos to be a meathead when it came to spells, she was a little impressed with the dervish's educated response on the matter.

"Any ideas?" Ling asked. She was a little curious on how he would handle something like this; she damn well didn't have a solution of her own.

Helmos thought to himself, looking strangely calm and calcuting.

"Well, we could always load Tien with prots and have him get zapped till that thing runs out of energy."

Helmos gave Tien a sly smirk.

"Not funny." Tien snapped.

Both Ling and Tien were waiting on Helmos' real answer. Helmos paced towards the Ling with an idea written over his face.

"Ling, do you know anything about boon protection?"

Ling narrowed her eyes at the dervish.

"Helmos, come on! I instruct and boon is the basics of the basics."

Ling gave Helmos a prideful smile and stretched her arms as she spoke. Helmos nodded in response and continued with his plan.

"Then you can energy drain?"

What a damn good idea she thought. "Of course!"

Ling raised a hand towards the crater, chanting in the name of Lyssa. A black sphere slowly formed just outside of her palm, drawing a storm of yellow rays from the center of the crater so intense that they blew her back with a mana overload.

"Ling!"

Helmos shouted and darted forward instinctively, just barely catching the little monk as she fell limp. A dazed expression came over her face as she came to.

"You ok?" Helmos asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ling coughed. "What a kick."

Helmos motioned for Tien to come over and leaned the tired monk over the warrior's broad shoulder.

"Watch over her."

Tien nodded and Helmos snatched another nearby mantid leg.

"Hope luck is on our side for this one."

Helmos closed his eyes and let the leg fly. The mantid leg disappeared into the darkness of the pit and a crunching noise echoed shortly after. Whatever was down there wasn't too far below, and this time there was no lightning to stop them.

"Seems safe, I'm going to check it out."

Helmos nodded at Tien and Ling, they also nodded in agreement. Helmos began making his way to the crater's edge.

"Wait."

Ling forced herself to speak and came to a weak stand. Raising her arms before her, she sent a prayer to Dwayna. Rippling gold and blue lights swarmed around helmos in a spiral, it was a reversal spell.

"A little something to give you good fortune." Ling spoke weakly and collapsed back towards Tien.

"Thanks." Helmos replied softly.

The dunewalker gave Ling and Tien one last glance and then disappeared over the edge of the crater, plunging into the deep pit. The walls around Helmos illumnated with the deep orange hue of the lamp. He landed over of some kind of strange glowing circle. As he moved over its resonating yellow surface, bolts of static energy crackled from his boots to trace the outline of a domed barrier beneath him. It was the familiar aura of air magic. As a dervish, Helmos was familiar with many forms of air conjurations, but this was something new. He had never seen air magic be used in order to create a solid dome of energy. The air magic was also lightning based, he could feel the tingling power of shock through his boots. This had to be what was responsible for the mindshock attacks they faced earlier. It was some kind of defensive barrier based entirely on sealed magic. Even in it's weakened state, Helmos could still feel the sturdy force of the barrier flow through him.

"Helmos! What did you find!" Tien's voice echoed from overhead.

Helmos tilted his head up to see his two comrades peering over the edge of the crater down above him. He shifted his gaze the the barrier below. He could barely make out some sort of purple object beneath the resonating dome of yellow energy at his feet.

"I'm not sure! There's some kind of barrier here! Ling do you think you are up for another energy drain?"

Ling nodded and called forth the black sphere. Swirls of arcing energy were wrenched from the rune circle and were drawn into the void in Ling's open palm. The barrier suddenly faded and Helmos fell right through it, landing hard on the limestone floor below. He found himself in another wide chamber grafted just below the previous one. The mantids must have created a network of large burrows within this cave. The mysterious object crashed through the ceiling and tore through two floors of their network before stopping.

"Helmos! Are you ok!?" Tien's voice resounded from the gaping hole above.

"I'm fine. Hows Ling?"

Helmos wrenched himself off the floor and used his scythe as a crutch.

"A little overloaded, I think she'll be out for just a bit but she's fine. Trust me, instructor Ling can take alot more punishment." Tien's answer echoed down toward Helmos, bringing the dervish some relief.

Helmos found himself faced with what looked like a giant purple sarcophagus. It was a rectangular object, about 15-20 feet high with a strange curved design. It looked like it was made of a dark amethyist or deep purple jade. Helmos scanned the strange object carefully, taking notice of many inscribed runes along it's surface that resonated with a light yellow glow. The top of the object grew round and bulky, with strangly looking curved "wing" designs that gave the object the impresson of looking like a bloated cross with the long end anchored deep into the ground.

"What the hell is this thing..." Helmos muttered to himself as he ran a hand over the surface of the object.

As Helmos drew back his hand, a set of runes began to glow brightly. The incriptions melted into a milky line that began tracing a series of glowing arcs through the object. Helmos stepped away from the strange ark and raised his scythe defensively. The lines were forming the outline of a door. The device was opening.

Let's just see how good my fortune is going to be tonight...

Helmos steeled himself and moved the scythe to his side to assume the reaper stance. If there was some kind of demon inside of this thing, he would send it to Grenth before it even had a chance to take its first breath. The glowing lines tracing the opening faded, and a steamy burst blew fort from the ark. Two large oval shaped doors slowly began to open along the center of the cross, expelling bluish mist from their creaks. Helmos stood fast, the chilling fear of the unknown creeping up his spine.

[i]Heh... Helmos what are you doing? You were once a member of the golden birds and now your getting creeped out over some old box? Are you really so weak?

A figure slowly lurched forth from the misty opening of the ark. Strands of long blue hair that shimmered in the lamp light hung suspended in the air as if they were contolled by some ethereal force. Helmos stood completely entranced by the creature's movements. As the creature drew closer, shadowy wing-like strands flowing from its back wriggled free from the dark hollow of the ark. The strange apparition reared it's head and faced the dunewalker with a mask of brilliant gold.

A paragon?

The creature stopped, breathing heavily as it's long slender wings took shape. They were wings dark as the night itself.

Black wings... Radeen!

The image of the insane paragon came to Helmos' mind. The twisted smile and blood covered raiment haunted the dune walker's thoughts. Helmos grit his teeth and braced himself to deliver a deathblow.

No this is different.

The wings bloomed from the creature's back like a desert lotus. It was unlike anything Helmos' had ever seen. His grip on the scythe relaxed and the creature stumbled into him, gripping his arms with heavy golden gauntlets. He stood paralyzed as the creature's majestic black wings brushed over him like soft velvet. Its form was light and as it's weight pressed against him, Helmos could feel the shape of a light human body, perfectly proportioned and curved. It was a woman.

Ixili...

A clatter echoed throughout the cave as the mask slipped and fell unto the limestone floor. The black winged woman slowly rose her head, her locks of pristine azure hair flowing aside to reveal a pair of deep blue eyes. They pierced into Helmos, stealing his breath away and leaving him gasping for air. She was beautiful.