First off welcome to Guild Wars, I hope you enjoy it.
Secondly I'm sorry this is so long but you simply must read it.
A good friend of mine put this on our former guilds forums and it was frightening how well it fit everyone on our team
Every profession has different qualities and played well can be equally effective in game so the only real choice is which one of these are you???
It’s time for some serious personality profiling. The following conjecture is pseudo-scientific, arbitrary, and derived largely from the writings of Freud and this disturbed kid named Freddy who talked to his rocket-shaped eraser in the back of my 7th grade History class. What does your choice of primary profession reveal about the innermost workings of your mind and soul? What are your avatar’s obsessions? What are your obsessions? What can you do to avoid becoming a predictable stereotype? I’ve been communing with the spirits and abnormal psychology books all day in an attempt to find out.
Monk
You good-natured soul, you. You are a caring nurturer who believes the universe should be an ordered place in which everything happens for a reason. Monster hurt friend because monster is evil; you heal friend because friend is good. Everybody is happy and you feel no moral ambiguity about the positive power of healing, even when the guy you just saved speaks l33t and sexually harasses female NPCs. Yours is a black-and-white world, healer, divided between the hurt and the unhurt, and you’ll suspend fair-handed judgment in order to keep doling out that golden, sparkly elixir of life. Sometimes it’s better to just let folks die. An overzealous monk can suffer from a variety of disorders, including Compulsive Do-Goodery, White Robe Syndrome, and My Energy Supply Is More Important Than Your Marriage or God Disorder. To avoid falling prey to the psychological pitfalls of your profession, refuse to rez every once in awhile, and wantonly kill creatures that are ten levels lower than you. It’s called raging bloodlust; embrace it.
Warrior
The warrior’s world-view is similar to a monk’s in terms of one-dimensionality; a warrior just approaches the matter from the opposite end of the spectrum. If a creature is of sound body and mind, it must be bashed immediately. In real life, warriors may or may not be prone to road rage, stuffing pre-pubescent foundlings into lockers, or wrestling any errant form of larger-than-average wildlife, that happens to wander into the backyard, into yelping submission, but in game, they are fascistic wielders of atom-smashing destruction. A bad day at the office? A decades-past dodge ball fracas that went horribly awry? Suburban daydreams of smiting the dragon/annoyingly erratic mailman with the spatula/sword of absolute smiting? A state of abject, existential disillusionment? What can generate such rage in the bosoms of men? Alas, we may never know. But, the over-stressed, adrenaline-junky warrior can avoid devolving into a jutted-cranium, uni-browed, monosyllabic cretin simply by letting the fancy Ranger kill something every once in awhile, or listening to Gwen play soothing, poetic melodies on her badly-damaged flute.
Necromancer
Buddy, you've got problems. Life is not a Cure concert. The earth doesn’t revolve around Trent Reznor’s fingernail polish. A little bit of rosy around the cheeks ain’t a bad thing.
Dead stuff should stay dead. Enough said. Any further exploration of the matter would result in horribly unnatural consequences for all involved.
Ranger
Mr. I’ll-Stand-Way-Over-Here-and- Kill-You. Rangers have commitment issues. They fear intimacy. Often abandoned in the woods at a young age and raised by wolves, they distrust the human world and the curious workings of polite society. Therefore, they abandon civilized concepts such as honor and fair play and rain gankage from the margins of the map, just as their lives skulk in the margins of existence. Ah, lone wolf, get over yourself, talk to people every once in awhile, lock eyes with a warrior and embrace the death that you so liberally deal out. It’ll be a “growing” experience for you. In real life, rangers throw popcorn from the back row in movie theatres and take one too many after-dinner mints from the complimentary bowl at Howie’s Diner. On alternate Tuesdays, near the Ides of March, they often howl at the moon.
Mesmer
Narcissistic personality disorder all the way. They take, take, take and never give. Look at me. Look at my fancy green shirt. Look at my dapper eye-mask. I’m a hypnotic reveler astride the time/space continuum, robbing you of every inner resource and ability that you so dearly cherish, and I look like I’d be really easy to kill because I’m so fancily, hypnotically energetic, but I’m not! Look at my fancy green shirt. Look at my dapper eye-mask! There is no help for these kinds of people.
Elementalists
Robert Frost wrote:
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Elementalists are stricken with the Ultimate God Complex. Wielding absolute control over the very materials that comprise our physical universe, they believe that there is no boundary that can stop them, no obstacle that can’t be reduced to ashen rubble or transformed into an impotent popsicle. As children, they set cans of Roach Spray on fire, buried their younger siblings under bucketfuls of earth in the sandbox, and peed in the tub. Something is always EMANATING from these people. Their needs for total domination and to bring the world to the edge of utter apocalypse makes them less-than-ideal Jenga partners. In an office setting, they should be given their own cubicle, way down the hall, past the janitor’s study, past the long-unused Foosball & Mr. Pibb Machine Memorial Break Room. For Elementalists wishing to curb their megalomaniacal and destructive tendencies, several hours of burning ants under a magnifying glass is recommended. At least that’s not as bad as what they really want to do.
So, there you have it, dime-store psychological perspectives, helpful hints for diversifying your lives and overcoming your obsessions, and radical insights into the minds of your valued group members. Just remember, sometimes a pipe is just a pipe, but a sword is never just a sword.