Guildwars Limericks

To encourage members to use our guild site I post a different monthly competition to win prizes.

I came up with February’s competition as ‘Guildwars Limericks’ based around their own characters or Guildwars in general.

I then though it might be interesting to see how many budding ‘poets’ are on here?

A few of my poor attempts are below, (my main character being a female Ele called’ Rite of Terra’ will help make sense of a few).


Assassins lying on the floor
Rez Sigs we had no more
During battle should have run
Their lives now, over and done
Now a twisted pile of gore

Balancing skills for PVP
PVE’ers just could not see
Rank 12’s they all cried
Nurf skills or we’ll get fried
Anet, help me, me, me!

HEAL ME, HEAL ME, the warrior cried
I AM, I AM monk blatantly lied
Fiery Dragon sword I’ve got
I’ll take on the bloody lot
Alas valiant warrior died

I have a new build, patent pending
Around that wonder skill of Mending
NO, NO, this can’t be right
Dead so soon into the fight
A letter of complaint I will be sending!

NOOB, NOOB, they all exclaimed
NO, NO, I can’t be blamed
I know the mission was in the bag
It’s not my fault, I had terrible lag
Logging off now, so ashamed

For months standing here getting bored
Just 500 Ecto’s for this urber rare sword
Yes, I know it’s purple you stupid noob
And yes, I do have to be this rude
Oh, why am I being so ignored?

A pretty worried young Ele
Was concerned with the size of her belly
Upon being told she was with child
Her panties became soiled
And people complained she was smelly

A pretty Ele called Rite
Had a bottom pert and tight
Crowds would gather, stop and stare
With one voice they would declare
Oh what a beautiful sight!

Resourceful Rite was not afraid
When fighting a warrior to bring a spade
Soon the warrior was no more
She removed his body from the floor
To a grave she’d previously made

Ele Rite’s back was so sore
From picking items from the floor
Never a gold but just a white
Decent drops way out of sight
No wonder she’s always so poor

LOL that was really good actually.

Interesting post.Hope to see more.Maybe about Necro or Mesmer.

Your limericks aren't all according to the actual format.
Don't want to busting your balls here but the format of a limerick is

A-A-B-B-A

While you have indeed checked the ending sounds of the according lines, the amount of syllables have to match as well.

Never the less it's a nice read

There once was a mesmer from Nantucket
Whose....

Oh wait, that'll get me banned.

One for each Profession



THE WARRIOR
HEAL ME, REZ ME, we heard him cry
He did not this day deserve to die
His valiant fight against 50 mobs
We felt quite guilty hearing his sobs
We left, we waved good bye

THE MESMER
Panic, no time to think
Panic, as I start to sink
Dirty Mesmer, show yourself
Is that you sapping my health
Hate it when my bar turns pink

THE NECRO
If dying is not bad enough
A Nec appears and does his stuff
Where once a fighter’s body lays
A shambling horror sadly plays
Know wonder I feel so rough

THE RANGER
Ouch, that bloody hurt
Now in my face he’s throwing dirt
Whilst dodging arrows from his bow
In he sends his pink flamingo
Now with death I sadly flirt

THE ASSASSIN
Deadly and quiet as the night
They creep around out of sight
Then they appear, in a flash
All over you like a nasty rash
Stand still you coward and fight

THE PARAGON
It’s true, by his hands I died
How can this be my team mates all cried
It was not from his spear that cripples
Merely distracted by his manly nipples
Sorry, lag I lied

THE MONK
Pleas of HEAL ME do abound
Oh dear me, a familiar sound
Down, down, down my energy slid
I’m not plugged into the national grid
Oh sod it, leave them, dead on the ground

THE RIT
All around me spirits appear
This place must be haunted I fear
Don’t be afraid and run from this place
I’m not I reply, just a matter of taste
Don’t like spirits, much prefer beer

THE ELE
I’m biased, but Ele’s are best
We do more damage than the rest
If I can’t best you with my skill
I’ll distract you from your kill
Type /dance, and shake my breasts

THE DERV
Blimey, what a big Scythe
Very impressive, I casually lied
Straight to the point, not to digress
I asked why a man was wearing a dress
Try walking in these high heels he cried

Quote:

Ah, I love limericks! Lemmie give one a shot...

There once was a young Krytan monk,
Who got just a little bit drunk.
As he stumbled about,
The Mursaat sniffed him out.
And then he and his allies were sunk.

There's a cute little ele named Cynn
Who's so hot, I don't know where to begin...
I know that it's wrong
But I've peeked at her thong
By standing close so I could zoom in!

There was a young necro named Mort
Whose death nova sounded such a report
The laughter soon started
(we realized he'd just farted)
So he was left alone in Aspenwood Fort.

Have you seen the noob wammo's ending?
Dead on the ground...not pretending
"Rez Me!" he cries
with tears in his eyes
another victim of reliance on Mending

The best NPC ever isn't so big
But this dude I totally dig
Really-he's no dude at all
And he's terribly small...
Who doesn't love Oink, the pig?

The stench of decay and death
Along with fiery breath
Who's lived to tell tale
Of the dragon, Rotscale?
A tragedy of great depth.

All claimed to be a real 1337 hero
When called to face the great Shiro
Less than one minute in...
Over before it could begin
Party members watching cutscene = zero

From the rumors I've been hearing
Chapter four seems to be nearing
But I still recall when
I collected flowers for Gwen
And sometimes I miss Pre-Searing