The Crystal Guard

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gervasium
Academy Page
#1
Long ago, when the world was young and civilizations arose, a new kingdom was born. It was called Pehlareh. Far to the east of the high ascalonian plains, the kingdom of Pehlareh was considered the jewel of Tyria (world). The reason for that title was the powerful possession the king of Pehlarek had. It was said to be the last remaining object let by the gods on earth (not to speak of those kept in Arah). However, one day, such prized possession was destroyed by order of the king himself, for reasons unknowned. On the same year of the destruction of the secret possession, Pehlareh was attacked by the Zvans, a race of magical warriors that reduced to ashes the "Jewel of Tyria".
That was a long time ago, the world is now old and civilizations crumble, and a new evil is rising...

Tell me what you think. Should I keep making them or is this a complete waste of time? Please be nice and comment it.
Mr. G
Mr. G
Desert Nomad
#2
My eyes, My sexy Eyes - They burn...

ok perhaps a bit dramatic - on the scale of 1-10...bout 4
noir0
noir0
Frost Gate Guardian
#3
second comic is definately funnier, i like the pose you caught the rit in.
Vynn Avatar
Vynn Avatar
Pre-Searing Cadet
#4
Ok so...I know this was originally posted awhile ago, but...I think it's an awesome idea but your grammar needs a little work, the stories need a little developing and the layout needs a little polish...seriously though great idea!
FelixCarter
FelixCarter
Wilds Pathfinder
#5
Good job. A bit dramatic, but good. ^_^
onerabbit
onerabbit
Grotto Attendant
#6
hahahaha awsome! that second 1 is brill
g
gervasium
Academy Page
#7
Updated the first post with episode 3
Mistical miss
Mistical miss
Desert Nomad
#8
Nice ones gervasium keep the story going ^^ I like that assassin ^^
p
pidjee
Ascalonian Squire
#9
keep them coming
D
DrClick
Pre-Searing Cadet
#10
I think you need to work on the actual visual appearance of the comic, Right now it looks very cut and paste. That sometimes caused me to skip a panel in reading it due to the format.
Perynne
Perynne
Site Contributor
#11
Seconded with you needing to work on the visual appearance of the comic. I think the storyline would be brought out more if you made it easier to read.

First of all, I suggest using round speech bubbles. You can do this in Photoshop by using the circle select tool, then going to Edit -> Stroke. It will give you nice, round bubbles. Also, please keep most of the speech bubbles inside the picture they belong to. It is VERY confusing to read it when a white speechbubble overlaps into the white background and another image that isn't even the next logical frame... it breaks the reader's concentration and makes it more confusing. With the size of page you're running at, you can even afford to make the text slightly smaller to get it all to fit. Remember that it's not a sin to have a speechbubble overlap a character, as long as it's not right in front of the face.

Yes, I know it might look cooler to have bubbles all over the place, but please, for the sake of the reader's sanity have them actually make sense. I love the idea behind this comic, it would be a shame to have it spoiled by poor use of frames and speech bubbles.
g
gervasium
Academy Page
#12
Hi again! After a few weeks without beeing able to post (/cough banned /cough) I will celebrate my return with a new style!
I took a look at the critics and decided the new episodes should have an improved look and so... here is episode 5.

By the way, I updated the introduction in the first post so it would contain a proper intro to the comics!
g
gervasium
Academy Page
#13
13 views and no answer? C'mon, not even a single: Oh, it's crap!
Tell me what you think please. I spent 2 weeks trying to make episode 5 worth it.
Perynne
Perynne
Site Contributor
#14
A lot better. That was clearer to read. Great job! I was laughing at the warrior a lot, since... well... that kind of behavior is very familiar. As for the father and son, the height difference was nicely done. Looking forward to seeing more.
[
[email protected]
Academy Page
#15
Yay i get a mention

Free Gate Opener is one of my presear characters
g
gervasium
Academy Page
#16
well, there were lots of people helping me on that comic. Free Gate Opener is actually an easy name to remember.
I'm now working on chapter 6, Hadiro and Xai will appear on it.

I've now noticed that in episode 5 i wrote episode 4 by mistake. Will correct it later.
g
gervasium
Academy Page
#17
After a long wait, episode 6 has arrived. Deep within the Echovald Forest, Hadiro and Xai will have their last stand...or not.

This episode also raises many doubts. What's so special about Xai's cape? Who are the Mercenaries? Who or what is Ahmi Sun? What terrible evil has Hadiro commited to make Xai decide never to forgive him? Keep watching the comics and, eventually, these questions will all be answered.

Please comment. Constructive criticism is appreciated as I feel I need to improve a lot on the comics.


(Sorry for double-post)
g
gervasium
Academy Page
#18
After a long wait, episode 6 has arrived. Deep within the Echovald Forest, Hadiro and Xai will have their last stand...or not.

This episode also raises many doubts. What's so special about Xai's cape? Who are the Mercenaries? Who or what is Ahmi Sun? What terrible evil has Hadiro commited to make Xai decide never to forgive him? Keep watching the comics and, eventually, these questions will all be answered.

Please comment. Constructive criticism is appreciated as I feel I need to improve a lot on the comics.


(Sorry for double-post)
g
gervasium
Academy Page
#19
After a long wait, episode 6 has arrived. Deep within the Echovald Forest, Hadiro and Xai will have their last stand...or not.

This episode also raises many doubts. What's so special about Xai's cape? Who are the Mercenaries? Who or what is Ahmi Sun? What terrible evil has Hadiro commited to make Xai decide never to forgive him? Keep watching the comics and, eventually, these questions will all be answered.

Please comment. Constructive criticism is appreciated as I feel I need to improve a lot on the comics.


(Sorry for double-post)
Yuca Dolitae
Yuca Dolitae
Ascalonian Squire
#20
Its good - it has promise!
I have to agree that in the earlier comics the grammar was a little poor and at times it was hard to follow in the layout but saying that, you've clearly spent time and effort making these which imo has to be held in high esteem - you've clearly thought about where you want to take it and how each frame will look.
Also agreed that it is a little dramatic - but then again its also the hook of the strip because unless its being satirical, people aren't going to want to read about the daily lives of GW characters...we play them already!
Given time these could work out really well, good luck with them and lets see more!

(btw the little angel and devil assassins are particularly inspired!)