Missing Guild Wars: Withdrawl and Regret

Hi folks, anybody remember ol' me?

Before I start I want to clarify that this is a legitimate discussion with some depth about Guild Wars and gaming.
Here goes,

I quit Guild Wars in December and logged on 3 or 4 times in the following month to see what was new but only for brief intervals. After spending a 15 month, 9 hour per day habit it was a shock to the system going cold turkey but I coped which sounds sad, I know, but I know I'm not alone. I then gave up my account for good, uninstalled the client and deleted the 2GB of screenshots to try to eliminate it all from my life but it just isn't that easy 4,500+ hours of memories.

Some of you will think I'm a sad git and you're right but I bet a lot of you are in the same boat. A British TV programme prompted me to write this after watching another guy who was sent to rehab for his gaming addiction (or obsession?) so I feel compelled to share my thoughts so that others can gain some perspective at my expense.

I'd also like to point out that I'm not condemning NC Interactive or ArenaNet for my 'problem' since I'm almost 20 and all they did was provide a great service with a good business model and they deserve more than the £100 I spent on their games and character slots. It's like I wouldn't blame McDonalds if I got fat because personal indulgence is my own responsibility.

I still get strong urges to play the game, although I don't own an account, but I do visit the forums occasionally especially when I'm feeling anxious and vulnerable. I do this for a sense of comfort and escapism but it’s followed by a feeling of guilt and self-loathing because I told myself in December that I wouldn't do it anymore. Yeah, its extreme but I'm pretty much anonymous here so I can be honest without fearing anything.

I regret giving it up because I'm unhappier now that I have a social life and all the 'norms' associated with people my age than I was while playing. Guild Wars seemed to fill a void and give me a sense of satisfaction, achievement, wellbeing and fulfilment that I don't think I'll get from anywhere else and I will go for the new Guild Wars that is expected/rumoured for 2009.

There isn't really a clear point to this discussion except that I haven't had a 'happy ending' but I can feel better if I raise awareness to others and let you gain a little insight in to what gaming means to you.

Consider the following:

• Daydreaming about Guild Wars in school/college/uni/work,
• Spending 5 hours+ per day on it,
• Avoiding school/college/uni/work or social events for it,
• Talking about it frequently
• Denying you play/being secretive
• Anxiety in the absence of it.
• Attending fan sites/forums when you can’t/don’t play

Neither of these suggests that you are an addict but it is recommendable for your own health that you take action because they are unlikely to go away by themselves. I’m aware that I’m completely contradicting myself by saying, on one hand, I want to return to GW and, on the other hand, it’s unhealthy but I believe it’s the closest to happiness I’ll experience personally.

Regards,

Bruce.

My internet was recently disconnected for 2 weeks, and since it's been reconnected, I've decided to quit it as well, or almost completely cease playing, since I felt remarkably better without gw, of course that's just me, and I never played 5+ hours a day.

um ya me either of course i dont think i play thaaaat much. :P

Your making the right choice by quitting bud. As much as you may love gaming, as i do it is better to move on and forget. It is fun and something to do and as you said can fill a void but there are more important things in life. It may be tough but once you give it up for good you will forget it and you will most likely be happier. Sounds like you had quite an addiction and bravo to you for giving it up thats awsome.

I quit gw almost a year ago. considering this was my first mmo, i couldn't stop playing trying to get that next green or new 15k armor. I was thinkin 3-4 hours a day would be alright until i found i logged in for 1300+ hours. i guess i have to thank anet for the large pvp barrier that made me stop playing otherwise if i was playing WoW i know i couldn't stop.

cant care less about quiters. 3.5k hours for me and i am not planning on quiting.I got nothing important to live for so before i die atleast ill have memories that in GW i had a usefull life if not in real world,in the end it wont matter.

I'd have to say that's impressive. Don't buy GW2 unless you think you can keep your desire to play under control.

I used to be addicted to online gaming myself. This is now the only online game I play. I had to quit cold turkey when I got over it though. Two years later, I picked up GW and was able to control myself much better. But I am also a bit older. And age really does bring self control (mostly from getting less excited about things).

If you do ever come back to online gaming, you will be flirting with the danger of that addiction again. There are times when I really want to spend all day on. But I rarely ever play more than a few hours in one day any more. -EDIT- I should say around 10-15 hours a week - 15 max.

Whatever you decide, best of luck to you. There is life after Guild Wars.

But life outside of Guild Wars isn't a life worth living!
jk...
I must admit Guild Wars isn't as addicting as some other online games. Diablo 2 manifested my dreams

It's been said many MMORPGs have an addicting aspect to them.
If you feel it's a problem then definitely get away from the game.
Also take the time to talk about anything else in life you may feel you are overindulging in. Sometimes the games aren't the source, they are a catalyst to an existing problem.
I'm no therapist. It's just that I know how addictive they can be. I've quit Everquest 2 many times and always come back. I currently pay 17.99 a month to log in once a month. Yikes.

Eh, GW has been uninstalled and reinstalled several times. I'll go "Cool!" for a week or two and play a lot during that time, but I also get burned out quickly and have to do real life stuff, which interestingly, makes me not want to game much.

As I discovered, I spend more time talking about games than actually playing it. Because not playing it, you can think of how fun it is to play it, while actually playing it, you notice all the stuff that you don't like about it.

I mean, what do non-gamers do? Probably spend hours and hours comatose in front of a television. That's not any better, and probably worse in fact.

this is the 2nd game I got addicted 2, the other was ......take a guess. d2.

well for me it's a stress reliever, and a nice escape. and it's fun to play drunk.

I live in a podunk town that's no fun.

I'll say this: better wasting time entertaining yourself than losing your soul slowly in a chat room or mindless myspace bs

Erm, without wishing to sound like a n00b, what's a television?
I have heard of non-gamers though. I've even met some (yeah, this stupid concept called social life exposes you to them.) When I meet some again I'll ask what they do.

Whoa. This all pretty much describes me in a nutshell - word for word. Now D2 stole my soul, hands down. I only had a little of it left to give to my wife, and a handful of other video games ( I am so on the couch for that).

Luckily, daily life has me stretched so thin, I only have a couple of hours each night to devote to GW. The sad part is I actually do devote a couple of hours each night. But hey, like you say, it's better than other mindless activities, especially TV - the original soul-stealer.

Hee, hee. I spend WAY more time talking on the forums than playing games too. I log into guild wars maybe 2-3 times a week, if I'm lucky. Yet I spend hours a day on the GW and EQ2 forums!
I also log into to EQ2 once a month, yet still pay the subscription fee because I had to be a subscriber to use their forums, which I frequent many hours a day!

So I guess I'm a forum addict, and possibly not even a video game addict.

1,966 hours in 14 months here. This is the first game I've seemed to be "addicted" to.

I've only gotten 1,420 hours on a 18 month scale, which I think is good in a non addictive way, compared to others. I do suffer some of those symptoms, specifically, "Talking about it frequently/Attending fan sites or forums when you can’t/don’t play."

I do talk about the game frequently to my brother and my friends, though its just little stuff like, "Dude, I've finally gotten a Dragos Flatbow." Or, "Did you hear about the nerf on Shadow Prison?"

I do visit fansites/forums when I am away, actually, I visit a variety of others too that don't pertain to gaming; News, sports, graphic design, social.

I used to put a lot of hours into the game, but now I take frequent breaks, which I think is good for my wellbeing.

Playing a lot of GW or any mmo isn't necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. Consider how much time the average person in the world spends sitting in front of their television set. This is certainly not any more social than an mmo. The average american likely watches about 4 hours a day. Replace that time with mmo time and you have 4 hours of GW instead. Thats still a lot in either case, but the point is that the time spent on an mmo isn't crazy compared to the average tv watcher and its likely better socially (if you have a guild of people you actually like talking to etc.). My own habits are more scattered. Generally, the way my life is structured (with work friends etc..) I end up having a couple days where a play a lot, and then a couple days where I never log in. All told it works about to something near that average these days, though it was more when I first got into the game.

I believe that this game can be an addiction. I believe people should stop if they feel its having an adverse effect on their lives. But at the same time I worry that society in general tends to want to frown upon, and be quick to slap video game players- and those with geeky pursuits in general- with the label of addict more quickly than it should. I can pretty much guarantee that if I left this game that I would be filling my life with some other past time that would take up as much time as GW does. I'm pretty sure that the average person has something that they obsess over a bit more than other things in their life. Lets face it, life can suck ass and most people don't have a dream job from which they can gain satisfaction and care about. Its the hobbies in most peoples lives that matter most to them and as such GW is can be a very fulfilling one. If thinking about it while sitting at my desk means my day slips by that much quicker...great.

It's not for us to determine if you have a bad addiction or what to do about it, but I hope I can provide some counter points.

Daydreaming - Don't we all daydream? And if you daydream, won't it be about something you enjoy? Do we jump on people who daydream about playing in a football game? I think this world has always had a "normal" vs. "geek" battle going on, and unfortunate as it is, gamers will never be understood as the culture it really is. Now, as with anything, if the daydreaming prevents you from doing your job or feeding yourself (as in starving, not as in lazy ass who skips lunch for "one more level") then be concerned.

Spending 5+ hours a day on it - well, what should you be doing? T.V.? Talking to "real" people? You already said you are unhappy doing that. Is that what is important in your life, pleasing others so that you fit in with thier concept of what a normal person does in his spare time? As far as I recall, you are solving puzzles, keeping your mind activly pursuing goals, building hand eye coordination, and building relationships with people who are just as real, all at the same time. Let's see the couch potatos do that while watching tv. Maybe they want you to go and drink it up at a bar? Kill some brain cells and be "social" while hiding behind a drink.

Avoiding social events - Oh come on! Has no one heard of an introvert? Are we to always be punished? Shoved in lockers for life? Yeah, I want to hang around them all day. Maybe, just maybe, people online are real too and just as valid to talk to?

Talking about it frequently - As if people don't just sit around and talk about cars all day. Sounds boring to me, but it's infinately more accepted. Why? Ask yourself that.

Denying you play - And who makes you feel guilty in the first place? Wasn't me, or about 3 million others who own the game. Not to mention the vast hordes of an increasingly aging population of gamers, WORLDWIDE. Feeling shame about anything is an issue of insecurity, not an issue of what you do in your own time.

Anxiety in the absence of it - Nope, this is the true problem. My guess is this is what you need to work on. Probably obsessive compulsive with anxiety and some depression that is combined with a general anti-social attitude and a need for escapism. No I am not a psych student, no I am not diagnosing you, I do not make that claim. But you aren't alone if you've been there, many others have in many parts of thier lives. A book I read set me straight (NOT religous, a scientific book on biology and behavior... memes), I recognised the validity of the minority and instinctual behavior.

Attending forums, etc. - When did reading and writing become BAD things? Communication is what others told you you weren't doing yes?

Ok, I kinda went longer than I planned, but the whole point is, you are not happy. As long as you know when enough is enough, you can find meaning in something you love and others find odd.

EDIT : Just wanted to add, @Envious, Lol! Leet, adding in a reference to something that JUST happened today. You make me smile.

I see your point, but basing everything in life on weather it makes you happy is not healthy. Kids are allways screaming to get what they want, but it's not allways good for them, we don't want to take that mentality into adulthood and make excuses to it being ok. You have to balance everything in life so that you can be happy but not at the expense of your physical/mental/enotional health & others well-being.

To the OP: What you've done is admirable. It's made me look at my own time spent playing. I think you may be more unhappy now, but try to push through this time, get support from friends and hopefully you will begin to appreciate other things as much as GW. Good Luck man!

what has gone, is gone.
memory will never come back

looks to the future, and do whatever you think you enjoy.

c'est la vie

Hence, why I said as long as he knows when enough is enough, which is where I think things are ultimately fuzzy for him. I think something was a little off in his life and the t.v. program hit a chord. But I wonder if he over reacted to it and now forces himself into a life he will never be happy with.

Lol, don't get me wrong, I seem like a hedonist, but I just want to provide another veiwpoint. There isn't anything worng with enjoying yourself as an adult. He's already taken the first step and noticed that he was spending perhaps a little bit TOO long online, perhaps to fill in a gap in his life that he needs filled. But I think that to be happy for the rest of his life, he needs to come to terms with the fact that games are a part of his life and it's up to him as an adult now to decide how it fits in with the way he wants to live it.

Call me a devil's advocate I guess, I just feel life is more about grey areas and that there is a side he didn't even know was an option.

Well, one of the nice things about GW is that you can just put it down for a while. There's no need at least to let the pressure of monthly payments guilt you into playing regularly. Just put it down for a while, and come back when things are more under control for you.

If you don't get a feeling of accomplishment or success in real life, it means you can't do anything right. Which pretty much makes you a loser. Guild Wars social dynamics and accomplishments mean nothing. NOTHING. Crystaline swords, FoW armor, Cartographer title... NOTHING. ZERO. And it's much easier to succeed in a game rather than real life. Get a grip.

The way out is possible, even with your addiction, and the latter is quite understandable (as is your feeling to come back) in a world where life quality might be the best but social interaction minimizes. Yet the world is not going to collapse soon, there's still plenty to achieve for you.

You won't need any "reha" or special institute, whatever the new science claims to be able to offer. I've helped a friend in a similar situation and slowly he seems to feel connected to the life surrounding him and starts building up what he never intended to do, what nobody in his family ever believed he would ever be able to.

I consider a daily life infront of a video game a waste of a time and definitely a great waste of potential. It's only a one-sided satisfaction for the human psyche needs more than just virtual joy - we are social beings, whatever some emos/pseudo-nihilists here might try to claim.

I've read many of your postings and even remember one where you claimed that playing videogames would be the best thing to do in a world full of wars, hate and mistrust. It's a typical yet understandable excuse for escapism, but it doesn't reserve the respect you're giving it for you are limiting yourself, and life is so short.

Being able to make "friends" online does speak of a certain ability to connect and certainly has its own worth but considering that you always seemed to be a very nice person (here and IG) it would be sad if it'd be limited to virtuality.

It's no bad thing to return to GW but certainly a bad thing for you if you continue the excessive amounts of playtime. You can learn to limit yourself.

Give it a try.

learn how to control it, don't let it control you.

my motto is work first then play. i know my priorities and i concentrate on getting things done. after that, the rest of the day is considered 'me time' to do whatever.

you don't exactly need to log 1000hrs in like a short period of time to enjoy the game fully, just take it slow. i'm only at 850hrs after 22 months and i'm still enjoying this game.

then again, perhaps everyone's different. if you find yourself having a hard time keeping away, perhaps quitting is a good idea. in any case, good on you for doing something good for yourself.

I hear ya, Bruce.

Computer games are addictive, and online games even more so. I was seriously addicted to gaming about 6 years ago, when I was a hardcore Unreal Tournament player, with exactly the same symptoms that you're describing. Online gaming was seriously harming my real life, my career at work, and my relationship to real life friends (I had no GF/wife at that time). I had no life, or at least I was very close to losing it.

The good news is: It is possible to get it under control, without quitting for good, but you'll probably need help, and strict rules. Look at me: Today I've got a life. I'm married and a father. My wife bears with my gaming and tolerates it, up to certain limits. I play "only" about 12-15 hrs per week. We've mutually agreed that a certain number of days and evenings per week are reserved for family quality time. I think about gaming quite often, but I've learned to resists, because I've come to realize that it's better for me on the long run. I think at the level that I'm playing right now I'll be able to continue playing online games happily until I die of old age.

Well said Tetris.

One thing that I believe will help out a lot is simple time management.

Like Tetris said, he plays about 15 hours a week, and has dedicated time to his family, friends and whatever else. I'm also assuming that he, as well as many others (including myself) have set days that they play.

For example, I play Tues. and Thurs. nights for about 3 hours while many of my friends are busy, and usually Sat. mornings for about 5 hours or so (think of it as Sat. morning cartoons you watched while growing up...except you kill things instead of eating cereal.) And there are also other times when I have nothing going on and will log on for a while.

Of course one must also set priorities: work, school, family...whatever, and this ties hand in hand with time management.

Also, taking periodic breaks from the game help a lot. Take a week or two off once in a while, this helps with keeping a grip on reality, and keeps the game from getting stale.

All in all, one must simply learn control. And if someone can't learn enough control to stop playing a game too much, then there are obvious deeper reasons then the game being so good, that no one on these forums will be able to really understand.

I hope things work out and you can learn to play and still have a life at the same time. Just do what is best for yourself.

Yes, I do. When my wife and me agreed to reserve a number of evenings per week, my wife first suggested to keep the days flexible, and just define a number. I declined, because I knew it would be much harder for me to resist. I prefer fixed days, because that way it is easier for my weak willpower to accept it.

Sometimes when I go to sleep I dream of build combos and stuff over and over again. That's why I hate doing HA all day. I used to play from waking up at 4pm to 8am, when my guild was more active. One day I just decided I'd played the game enough and stopped playing for about a year. Like Forest Gump and how he just stopped walking one day.

Most of the time now I just log in, do some RA or the rare PvE and log out.

That's just like Tetris....or Bomberman.
I used to play those games so much I'd see Tetris and little Bombermen running around as soon as I closed my eyes to sleep.
To this day...it still happens. There is no cure. Oh wait! I still play Tetris and Bomberman way too much. That's why!

OMG, now Tetris is a game I will never quit playing! Honestly, if I was given a choice to have only one video game on some stranded island, it would be Tetris, hands down.

Why not bomberman?
Are you completely mad?
This makes no sense.

/me wanders off in a daze and smacks into a wall

No sense at all.

Hey,

actually i think the addiction passes away. At least it was that way with me. i started gaming altogether only 7 years ago ( I grew up in a woman only houshold, my mother was divorced and we didnt have a PC). Nevertheless i loved it and gaming soon became my only hobby, which i shared (and still do) with my bf since then. Actually he introduced me to games and it was part of the mating ritual that i wanted to impress him by getting the hang of it quickly. Call it weird but it worked. :P
I started playing Joint Operations in a clan and my social contacts were mostly limited to colleagues (guess what they gamed too, but WoW ) and online acquaintances. And for the moment it was enough for me and though many friendships perished away meanwhile they were good and rich at that time. I didnt feel like sitiing in a box or being "off-real-world". When i got GW I was crazy about it and pretty addicted. And i chose GW over other MMOPRGS to NOT get addicte, since you can get in and out easily, jsut doing a quick run or quest and u dont have to wait for hours to make a raid or whatever.

To make a long story short: I jsut had a 3 months break from GW since i didnt feel to play, I started knitting and belly dance again. And i play GW again but not as much as a few years ago. I still intend to get off work to play the new addon Moods change. Ppl change. Life is a up and down and will be like that with ur wish to play GW . Sooner or later. Maybe its a matter of age too. Im 27 now. Im looking forward to sharing my enthusiasm about GW and other cool games with kids, if i ever get any

PS: When i played shooters all day long i went out thinking this over there is a good place to hide...and i wondered where my stinger was, when i heard a helicopter.....
I perfectly know the feeling of gaming on while trying to get sleep. When i played too much i cant fall asleep most of the night. My brain play on...quite annoying tbh. Especially since its usdually very late (or early in the morning) when i stopped playing.

IMO

Everyone that plays an MMO or any other online game has an addictive/obsessive personality. Not saying anyone is addicted but that the "prospect" of becoming addicted is there.

I was addicted to a MUD way back when and played it continuously...then it went down...and i didn't game for a few years..until RTS games grabbed my attention with the better graphics...now i have moved on to GW...

Although I am not addicted to GW (because i know what behavior to look for in myself) but have been addicted to in one way or another to other games, booze, drugs, women, chatting, etc etc...

Not sure what my point is other than get to know yourself and learn the signs that you show when you are becoming obsessed withr something so u can sit back and say ....hrm...maybe i need a break or a new direction for awhile...tis what i do and it works for me...

Is it bad that I've played my newest character for 462 hour and 16 minutes over the past 47 days?

I find that my schedule is very tight at the moment. I am at uni Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, and work the other three days. Fortunately, each day I am only at work/uni for a maximum of 4 hours, so I still get time to do other stuff. I usually don't go out properly with friends till a Friday night (although that's getting more restrictive with a class from 6 till 9 pm). I love gaming. I also love drinking. I just wish I had more time to do the latter. The former I get plenty of time to do (although sometimes I get annoyed that I have to interrupt my game to go to work. You know, there's those days where you just want a whole day all to yourself. No work, no uni, no friends. Just a quiet day at home).

But yeah, if you find that you are playing too much (as in playing for a whole week non stop with the curtains drawn and fourteen bottles of water next to you the whole time so you don't die of dehydration), then yes, I think that is unhealthy. Just a bit. But also remember that it is good to have time to yourself. Like others have mentioned in this thread, it is much better to play games than lie on a couch and watch TV. Generally while watching TV you have less brain activity than when you are asleep.

PS For anyone is about to die of shock or come and take my computer away for that unhealthy amount of time playing GW I mentioned at the start of my post, bear this in mind: I'm currently going for Legendary Defender of Ascalon. Basically, I haven't played the game properly in a couple of months. It's gonna feel so good to get back to it.

Spending 5 hours+ per day on it,
• Avoiding school/college/uni/work or social events for it,
• Talking about it frequently
• Denying you play/being secretive
• Anxiety in the absence of it.
• Attending fan sites/forums when you can’t/don’t play




Erm...thats me :S
Also, i have no confiedence in myself anymore, so when it comes to actually getting a job i just back out :S

i should maybe quit

>>> YES I am VICTIM = Online gaming VICTIM


Any lawyers out there?

Same here.

Life is simply full of addictions. Whether it is television, sports (especially fantasy football), chatrooms/forums, sex, music, shopping, etc...you find vices that your personality naturally gravitates towards.

I find myself switching addictions every few years, based on what is going on in my life. You simply have to have the willpower to break that addiciton and find another pursuit when it comes time.

The only game I was ever addicted to was Diablo II. The summer that it came out, I would play ALL day long, and then into the wee hours of the night. I wouldn't eat or sleep for what seemed like days... needless to say it wasn't a pretty picture.

I think younger children are more suceptible to "game addiction" because you've got all this time on your hands. I've never been game addicted since.

I've got a college courseload, job,g/f,friends, and bills to worry about now. The 13-hour-gaming days are a thing of the past. I think I played for 6 hours once a few Saturdays ago, but for the most part I'm lucky if I get 2 hours a week of GW play time in.

You know, the classic wrong approach to "getting" self-confidence is thinking about it, mindgames and trying to divert it from the inside (aaaah, my English). You achieve confidence by actually _doing_ something, be it small-talk, rhetorics, teamsports, flirt (yes, with all its "negative" sides like rejection) etc...