Guild Wars Rap!!

Yo My warrior is tight.
He wont lose a fight.
When he draws his sword the enemies will cry.
He is a strong hommie and im close to him.
And his armor is bigger than his head.
The enemies want there mommies since i slashed them
And there mommies come to me and ask me for tips in fighting!
I say you need to get some elite skills like me
Since I use charge to flee melee.
I use power attack to show my strength and I run away while I cast Shields Up so im defended.
I bring a gang of monks so i cant die.
I also take the damage so they heal me since were brothers.
My sword is long and sharp.
I use hit to hurty the eniemies.
They cry to there mommies.
When they confront me i slash them up and they cry to there mommies.
There mommies come up to me and yell at me so I just type /taunt!

That's a RAP!

Apparently you guys didn't like my first rap so I made another one.
Here it is::

Yo, it's a tradition for me to do the mission and the bonus in addition. I need no petition to act like a politician and knock you out of commission.
In addition, I have suspicion -- like a musician out of any condition there's no competition since i am the definition of infinite ammunition.
I need to express the skills i possess so don't second guess the freedom of the press. Hop on the pony express, nevertheless you better change your address!
I will continue this expression of my aggression in this rap session until I hear a confession admitting I am the best in my profession--
Still working on an end, please come back later.

**I understand that some lines may seem incomplete and I will work on this**

I am just a white honors student trying to be cool for a change!

Some of your content is good, but too random. Try using some better rhymes.

Here's my favorite GW RAP
http://gwrap.ytmnd.com/

ookkaaay then here how about i do one better
sup my assassin just killed your bro
now get out my life yo
i stike my freakin daggers up his stupid but
now he's go prostate cancer but you can blame yourself for that OOH~
i shadow step everywhere i go
then i speed away as if you liked gay
then jump above your head and push your women in the bed
thats right you just got powned! owned!!!@~

Oh No Way Dont I Aint Dissen You No Way!! Dude That Rap Powns Mine I Just Didnt Know Cause I Ignored It Lol!

This remindes me of those 'Poké Raps' at the end of every episode of Pokémon....

please...

thats a freaky picture...

But about your rap: the lines may rhyme but you need to worry about the syllables per line. You cant have five word lines, then 15 word lines, it has to be consistent.

Could you give me that when you're done, Franco?

Pretty much, that was crap...

You need to get a basic style down for your rap. You're trying to hard to do too many things as once in one section.

For example, rhyming
You start off with it, then after the second line it just completely disappears, then all of a sudden pops back in at the end.

Pick one style, and stick with it until you're better at it, then move to others. Merging them together gets better when you improve your skills at it.

Listen to ytcracker

Please note, it contains Tyrian storyline spoilers

Aiyyo do I need to bust out my mic and school this young foolz thinking he oldschool? I'm so O G you O D ese~~~~~~

*Hi.

that wammo alraeady screwed up with his big ass nose
look at my warrior, you wish you're wammo had those
my war so gangsta man this is how we do
you're war no frikin gangsta man, not with those dumbass shoe
put on some 15k outfit bro, before you get harrass
you're war so ugly bro, ugly like gwen's white ass
so step aside wammo with mending, this is my show
i know you want my fellblade, too bad i customized it already bro

that wammo alraeady screwed up with his big ass nose
look at my warrior, you wish you're wammo had those
my war so gangsta man this is how we do
you're war no frikin gangsta man, not with those dumbass shoe
put on some 15k outfit bro, before you get harrass
you're war so ugly bro, ugly like gwen's white ass
so step aside wammo with mending, this is my show
i know you want my fellblade, too bad i customized it already bro

you beta respect n fear me
or i cut short your family tree
with ma axe
a punch it packs
you cant relax
when i start to hack
il break your fukcing back.
think you can monk m8?
your just a punk m8!
executioners strike
take a hike
you cant survive ma spiKe

Sorry, didn't mean to post here )=

Chicks, you have the same issue that I stated before, just you have a few more as well.

You're trying to hard to rhyme, to the point where stuff doesn't make sense.

You don't always have to rhyme to rap.

Ye ye ye My ranger can easily pop up those hobos
Fifty five monks and fat mending wammos
With her newly bought bling the flatbow of Drago
For sure, noob hit, she can do them all solo

Pimpin with NF armor, 15k style
Zoning to RA to own those hopeless viles
My ranger, my ranger she's hard to die
10k fame on her belt, yo thats the reason why

Doin noob hit yo more noob hit yo
My ranger got the notorious guild tag yo
From kryta, ascalon, cantha, elona
RA, Aspenwood, AB, she's the fokin mastah


yeeeeeeeeeee boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

I'm the new guy, and this is my rap

I must the the only rapper with class
Those rhymes look like they were pulled out of some fat man's ass
You can't put a real label on rhymes
Can't make them cost nickels or dimes
You rappers must think speaking like an idiot is cool
Even though your parents work hard to get you to school
I'm the Random Ritualist
Only use daggers
Don't need spells
Only a hard outter shell
You can get the nerve to ask for a heal
I'll freaking slit your throat
Do we have a deal?
You could be a Wammo and survive my beginning damage
But I can deal more than you can dream you can manage
Even with no vision you can't steal my money
In my wallet you may find a picture of you honey
I may look blind with my blindfolding cap
But I could see more than you if I drew you a map!
This is the Random Ritualist signing out
If you thought I couldn't rap, I've erased your doubt.

How was it?
(My first post in this forum! YAY!)

As most people probably won't be to appreciate rap whether it's good or not, just ignore all the constructive less bashing posts :P

You probably haven't been writing raps very long, and as with most things, it takes time and dedication to be good at it.
What usually is most appreciated in raps are original metaphors above rhyming, practice and create metaphors, punchlines etc
Then try to make make a lot of those into a song, given they are somewhat on the same subject. For there on making rhyming metaphors.

Also Guild Wars may not exactly be the best subject to make raps to

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