Fire Dream Proem (A Graphic Novel)

Hey everybody. I have been hanging out at Guild Wars 2 guru and haven't posted here at guru in a long time. However, I have been working on a graphic novel which links one of my guild wars characters to a forthcoming character in Guild Wars 2. So it seemed fair to post this here as it connects both games.

This is part one of the novel. Feel free to comment and let me know what you think about it. Part two is in the works and I have several pages completed in that regard. Again, comments are welcome, as feedback makes the work better.

Without further ado, enjoy!

I think this is really good, really interesting story!

actually the story and the way the panels conveyed the story was pretty darn good.

about the art, a little thing I see people do all the time is make the head turn wayyyy too much when you're drawing someone looking over their shoulder. Ask someone you know irl to set their back to you and then turn their head. There's no way you should see both eyes if their back is flat to you, otherwise their neck would be broken.

another comment

too lazy to edit my prev post

its obvious you really thought about your paneling and flow of the story. while the art wasn't quite as good, the way you meticulously planned your story and conveyed it through the use of scenery and discrete shots really carried your graphic novel. it must have been a whole lot of work to do this, and it really shows. i think you already know that your weakest ppoints are your anatomy for characters, but i dont see this as a big problem because i think you will quickly improve in the future. you have all the other elements that make for a good story, which are imo much harder to do than just good art.

i did thnk the story was a little formulaic in that fantasy/spirit possessed sword kind of way, but i barely noticed while i was reading.

another comment cause too lazy to edit

i didnt realize your main character was female until near the end of the novel. you may want to make her shoulders less broad and emphasize the hips more.

Lazy or not, use the edit button.

Thanks everyone for your responses!

@YunSooJin

This project really has been an evolution from day 1. When I started I was sketching it out on paper with no real intent other than to tell the story. When I started posting (in my guild forum and over at GW2 guru) one member suggested I use GIMP to darken up the lines. That was a huge improvement! Then another person demanded color lol. So I started experimenting with color and found I really enjoyed the challenge and outcome. It was just more time consuming and I suppose it slowed down the release of pages.

I agree with your comments on anatomy. However, instead of going back and editing like mad, which would mean even more time away from the story, I like how it currently shows the changes in the art, changing page to page. The comment on Keryn's femininity is well taken. That is one aspect I had not heard yet, and I will start implementing immediately on my work in part 2.

@Marshmallow and everyone else

There is a part 2 in progress with about 7 pages completed, and even more risks taken with the art and story. Let me know if you want the thread posted for part 2. Keep in mind, you will have to be waiting on pages as they are completed. Some people prefer the story all at once...

Glad people are enjoying this. Looking forward to you seeing more of Keryn!

Great work! As some have already said, your paneling and storytelling are really good! Anatomy could use some work but as you've mentioned, the entire project is a learning process and I totally agree.

I feel inspired because I plan to undertake a similar project. Thanks for sharing, can't wait to see more.

Keep on drawing, I would love to see the story unfold and to see your skills improve even further.

I suggest you post your stories in smaller chapters rather than a whole finished story. This will expose it to more people and build up a fan base over a longer period of time. Otherwise it's risk that only the more active people on the forum see it before it's lost behind all other new threads. If going for the smaller chapter approach, add a link to previous chapter, and edit the previous chapter with a next chapter link.

Halfy,

yeah I agree you shouldnt need to go back and edit anatomy or w/e, just go with your flow =)

i dont think color is necessarily a good thing. if you want to include color, you could kind of do it like they do in manga, where they have a few color pages at first, or just one, and the rest is done in black and white. sometimes b/w is better at conveying some emotions.

i didnt mention it before but my favorite part was Keryn's rejoinder against the spirit wolf, the tit-for-tat bit. Thought it was an unexpected sense of humor in an otherwise serious scene.

The story continues in Part II

Forn Vandr

Feel free to jump over and take a look!

Thanks for all your comments, its always appreciated.