NPC Fan Mail

Dear Gwen,

I am writing this in hopes that you lived through the Searing. All the fun that we had with your flute and cape. You taught me so much. As much as I enjoyed my time with you. I feel that telling everyone about our "time at band camp" is a bit forward. Please keep our secrets between us.

The only girl who ever loved you.
Nymphae....

Dear Oink,


Oink oink oink......OINK...oink oink


Love
Origin

Dear Gwen,

I broke your flute !


Garyian

Kasha Blackblood > Necromancer Munne

Dear Alesia,

If you enjoying tanking so much, you should try becoming a warrior. I really don't see why you have to stand between me and the monster to heal me.

Dear Oink,

GO IMPERVIOUS PIG GO!

WE LOVE YOU OINK! [Excuse all my caps XD]

Much love and respect, Adaria.

Dear Undertaker Cortis,

WHY?! Why did you change your oh so hot appearance? You used to look so much like the hottie on the collectors box but now, oh what have you let them do to you?!

Meh, oh well, Devona is hotter...

-Adaria

Dear Sarah,

For the love of god why did you raise a psychopathic pyromaniac child? You're a herbalist, who... helps people with their 'problems' and makes them 'feel better' hmm, maybe I know where the problem is now...

Oh and to Gwen whenever you see her in the Underworld, damn you little brat, you killed my arse in March and I'll get you for it one day!

Tell Grenth I said heyo and sorry I couldn't make it all those times I've been killed!

~Adaria

Dear Glint,

Why are you so powerful? It seems like most of the people and/or monsters I meet are pretty evenly matched with me, but when me and my buds last tussled in your humble abode you single handedly abused us like the king of pop just because we touched one of your giant omelettes-to-be. What kind of steroids are you on, and which merchant sells them?

Sincerely,

Quartet Requiem

PS If you're so strong and omnipotent, why don't you save Tyria yourself instead of sending us out against those Mursaat without even mentioning what infusion is?

Anybody notice all the lore involved with Devona, Cynn, Mhenlo and the other guy, in the book manual and online manual? Feels like there should be a story behind all this, but instead, these characters just pop up at random places during the game without any sort of explanation or story...

Dear Alesia,

Did you shave all your blonde hair off to seem less stupid?

LMAO That's great

Dear Dunham,

Please tell me how you manage to spam Distortion so well. I tried to copy your technique and didn't seem to have enough energy. What's your secret? Have you captured the Elite Energizer Bunny skill?

Regards,
Belle Ivy (Me/E)

Dear Low-Level Creatures of Ascalon,

I'd like to give you a small bit of advice. When you see a group of Lv20 humans coming toward you, take a look at your own level. If you are anything less than 20, it is probably a good idea if you leave the area. Perhaps you can climb a tree, hide behind a rock, or even make a mad dash for another zone. But whatever you do, don't attack them. Many times the humans are not there to hurt you, they have some other, higher (perhaps even noble) objective that requires that they pass through your homeland.

From my experience, when you attack such a group, it will only result in your death. So unless that is what you seek, please stay away. Thanks for your consideration.

Vai

Dear Joe,
Please learn to eat dog meat and scraps like any other pet. I'm not going to face 8 trillion centaurs to fetch you more snacks any time soon.
Thanks
Morat
PS, you do realise that all the other devourers think you're a sellout, don't you?

Dear Claude,

I'm sorry I never invite you. I'll invite you on my next exploration.
-----
Dear Alesia,

You're not the leader of the party -- stop running off ahead of us to kill monsters. Everyone else listens.
-----




Dear Alesia and Claude,

I understand you are mad at me for various reasons, but you didn't have to run off and float in the sky! :PPP

Dear Rurik,

I understand your position. Ok well not so much, since I've never had an experience dying by tomahawk to the head. But that's still no reason to become such a sourpuss.



-----------
Dear Thunder Drakes,

Rubbadubdub, thanks for the l00t.

Gaele.

Dear Charr Commander,

I would hereby request to enlist in your forces. I cannot serve a prince that gives up on fights before they have even begun, who whines about the destruction of 'his' kingdom which was destroyed on his watch, who eagerly revolts against his superiors and who seems to prefer listening to the sound of his own voice over making the kill.

The Charr army seems organized, dedicated and has shown competence in achieving results. Its soldiers never flinch, cower or surrender - they are victorious or die gloriously. They take care of their own problems instead of loitering around all day offering measly experience rewards and trinkets to total strangers to help them with shopping duties, worm problems and the like.

One cannot but stand in awe of the Charr achievements. Ascalon lies in ruins, the terraforming of its landscape nearing completion. Its people are divided between the hopeless and the fleeing, and there is no one left to question your power. The land east of the Shiverpeaks is yours to command, yet I have no doubt you have greater plans ahead of you.

I would be grateful even for a low-key position in your ranks. I swear I will do my utmost to slaughter Ascalons - throughout the weeks I have spent with them, many of them have earned my burning hatred, and the controlled environment of the Arenas cannot sate my thirst for their blood. If you allow me to give my life for the Charr cause, I promise I will take at least twenty-five of my kind down with me when that time comes.

Eagerly awaiting your reply, I remain,
Silmor

After staring at Cynn, Aidan, and Devona.. I've come to the conclusion that they are the 3 people in the cinematic trailer. Yes yes.. I'm a quick one. :P

Dear Devona,

Where is your dual-sword-weilding goodness? I think you should drop the hammer and grab two swords, then do some of them fancy moves.

Regards, me.

Dear Gwen,

I hope you've gotten some psychiatric treatment since the last time I met you. I was extermely disturbed when an 8 year old girl prances around me, happy as can be, while I slaughter hundreds of monsters and humans...blood flying everywhere. You must have been a very messed up little child.

-Ordas



Dear Stormcaller,

WTF do you do?

-Ordas

Dear Granit Citadel Armorers,

Your armor is waaaaaay over-inflated...only two options for Ranger? I mean really...no druid set, and still armor 70? I can't lose the energy bonus just to pick up, what, lightening protection...sheesh...AND please explain to me how, exactly, leather armor with little metal studs is going to give me added protecting against lightening...shame on you.

TR