The Ggggrrrr! List:

Does the player community drive you mad? Nutso? Absolutely raving looney?
Well if it doesn't, try grouping with a few strangers or turning your chat text back on!

Here's a short list of Player imbecilities that make me go "Gggrrrrr!":

1.) Without a monk there is no universe.
The biggest, greatest and most stupid blunder of them all. This reflects the inferiority complexes that most "uber" characters have. Without a monk velcroed to their collective posteriors, they must play cautiously, use skill, tactics and actual thought before committing to any action.
Thus, when someone tells you;
"We can't do x without a monk."
What they are really saying is,
" I have no skill and require a monk to keep my sorry azz alive."

Some of the best, most efficient and fun groups I have ever been in had no monk whatsoever, (but everyone had at least a limited ability to heal or rez) So when uber_idiot007 states, "No mission without a monk" just drop the group and seek higher evolved life forms...like hamsters perhaps...

2.) My middle name is "kamikaze..."
Aye, it is fun to see how large a train of nasties you can drag around a zone once in a while. . .but as a regular habit?
Nay says I; that path is a general indicator of absent intellect, game mechanic cluelessness, and overall woolly thinking.
In many cases, the characters name is a dead giveaway; don't expect skillful play from anyone named after food, sex, bodily excretions, or other mundane and inane subject matter.

As a matter of personal habit, I simply refuse to group with these players, and I now have the success (level, gear, skills and knowledge) these scrubs will never know.
The typical kamikaze player comes in two exotic flavors, both far too common (for this players tastes) and both lethal - avoid at all costs:

Spontaneous Combustion: (SC)
Typically represented by 90% of the teeming Warrior/Monk Lemming clones; (no insult intended to the rare 10%) The "SC" Kamikaze, upon entering any mission simply beelines for the largest mass of red dots on the radar and proceeds to dump them on your group.
A true artist of this technique will have the MOBs on you as other players are still zoning in, casting protective buffs, or attempting to scan their surroundings first.

Results: Upon the immediate demise of the entire party, the SC Kamikaze immediately starts spouting garbage about how "unskilled" and "noob" the rest of the party is - don't be deceived; he's the idiot supreme.

Solution: If you discover you have an SC, let him attain oneness with the void - alone. Run off and let him become the smoking pile of ash he craves to be, then press on as if he never existed; ignoring any pitious pleas or threats to rez or otherwise save his sorry self.

Delayed Fuse: (DF) Similar to the SC kamikaze in lack of brain activity, reflexes, or the ability to shape coherent thought, the DF Kamikaze simply waits until he is bored, not getting the drops he wants, or doesn't understand how the F12 key works. At some point in the mission, he simply decides the time is now ripe to destroy the party and proceeds to pull a lethal number of nasties onto the party - preferably right after a huge fight when everyone is out of power, wounded or both. A master-class DF waits until the party is a pinky-toe distance away from the mission conclusion to execute his deadly plan.

Results: The DF upon destroying the party is typically silent, perhaps role-playing his cadaverous state to perfection? If pressed as to reasons why he self-destructed, common responses include:

"Beep-beep, zip-tang!"
"Dunno."
"Meh?"

Solution: Watch your radar and the suspected lemming accordingly. A DF is easier to defuse than an SC because you can (if alert) see his auto-destruct sequence in progress. Don't ask why he is darting towards the mass of red dots - simply yell RUN to the group and depart in the opposite direction.

3.) "More uber than thou..."
These players typically have names with titles (Lord, Emperor, Sir etc.) and of course the all important "power words" of Death, doom, slayer, mega, ultra, and black, shadow, night, darkness, evil, etc.

. . . Aye, I just named 80% of the players!
Once in group, it is terribly important that these fiends KNOW you are not as good as them. You might think you are, but really - you aren't. If they die (which is often) they spout obsenity, calling the group "noobs" and other euphemisms, stating how as an uber player they never die unless you get them killed by your OBVIOUS idiot actions.
Don't be fooled.
An idiot is still an idiot - even if he has shiny armor and a dragonfire sword.

Solution: They usually solve themselves - dropping the group in a fit of pique. Otherwise simply state these simple words:
"No, you are not uber."
Warning: this may cause them to go into kamikaze mode...


That's all I have right now - there are many more no doubt! Expand the list as desired.

ROFL!! ok, really good post, these personalities truely exist in all MMO's and I (sadly) recognize them all.

I had one of these in an Elona Reach group yesterday..

For the entire mission, he continued to tell the group how noobish we were, and how he owned us..before deciding to run through every spawn and aggro them onto our elementalists.

The best part, however was when he died and proceeded to insult our warrior, telling him how he messed up the mission due to 'not having the right skill setup'.

It's easy to judge others on a higher standard than yourself..

Edit: Then of course, there are the people who pick up an important quest item and either hide it or go afk..

LOL...too funny.

I can live with the monk-lovers more easily than those people who run out into trouble without actually communicating or...GASP...thinking. Today I tried three times to do a mission with three different groups and EVERY time we had some bozo running out a mile ahead of the group, passing bunches of perfectly lovely monsters because ...well I don't even KNOW why . . .and creating mobs out of more manageable smaller groups of enemies. These people do this, then they ping frantically on the map to try to get the rest of us to hurry up and save their butts!

Did they give this game away free to people who are certified to have ADHD?

My character is Koa Nokomis and she is a reasonable, thoughtful little tank who understands teamwork. So if any of you more reasonable folks see her out there, invite her to your group. :-)

--Nokomis

I'm sorry but if you honestly think you can survive anything without a monk, then you definately haven't fought any of the harder monsters in the game. It really isn't a matter of how much skill you have when you're being swarmed by 20 jade scarabs. If you have no monk, you will most likely die. Numbers overpower skill, always, no exceptions, ever.

You also have not fought with the Jades/Mursaat before if you think monks are not needed. They deal big damage, and high health degen, even if you're 100% infused with the best armor in the game. For example, in Thunderhead Keep, you have to fight on two seperate sides of a fort, and you're constantly hit by Mursaat and Jade Armors and Jade Bows. Without 2 monks in a group, it would be impossible to kill all of them in time to defend the fort, and you would most likely die from trying to use your "skill" at the game instead of flat out slaughtering them before the next way came.

I agree with your kamikaze statement, it's usually the people without serious names that do the dumbest things.


If you honestly think that everyone who adds on a feudal system tag to their favorite gaming name makes them a retard, then you should try to find out more about those people. I have a gaming name I like to use...Rhunex(go figure...don't tell anyone the big secret) but usually I get to use 1 name in a game, no last name or anything like that. So, in order to fill that void, I've sometimes turned to making my warrior called Sir Rhunex or a female monk Lady Rhunex. I have yet to die alone in a mission. The only time I die, is if my group dies. Don't judge people on their internet name, seriously it's just as bad as judging people on their looks in "real" life.

Jade Scarabs come from underground with 5 at the time.

if you encounter 20.. you obviously have rushed away from the previous 15.
meaning you haven't defeated them yet, rushing isn't good at all..

What I hate most are the people that rush into things or are like
"HEY ANYONE HERE WHO WANTS TO RUSH TO THE NEXT TOWN!?"
if you can't beat them.. rushing won't help, then you won't be able to beat the next ones and the next.

Communication and Planning are the keywords.

just take a bit more time and plan on how to beat it, look at the environment and how to use it, know who you play with, as in what built they have.

Communication is so damn important, if you have a monk in your party and he is the dedicated healer, or if you have a mesmer in your party who defenitly helps defeating mobs about 5x faster. then you will want to know when they are in trouble

Ring of Fire Missions without a primary or secondary monk or NPC healer? I'd like to see that =P

Your so true about the names, one time I was on a group that everyone had roleplaying names like "Mary Antamsia, or Luther Darfalhem" (Notice: these are not real names by my experiance) and it was amazing, kind of reminds you of what Guild Wars is all about. But when you go with the PvP type group "I Is Are Teh Winnar, Smellslike Owncooking, Shat Shotter, Destructo Kill" You get lucky if you make it with the 4 loyal guys who didnt quit, and even then the warrior will start cussing at the monk, and the monk will get upset and stop healing everyone but his friend, and its a big mess, GgGggRRRrrRRrrrr!

We had a group in dragon's lair the other day named "OMG PWN" That talked about how much we all like to suck dick, trying his best to keep the minimap filled with garbage at all times so that any instruction could never be read.

Agh - you should be over 10 years old to play a game rated "TEEN".

What? Huh? Why do I have to be over 10!! Wait..

And you misspelled it, its 5 a's...your forgiven.

-Aaaaagh

I'm going to have to... completely agree with this list. I grouped with someone yesterday who would charge off into battle when the healer was still doing rez, or while I was still bleeding or otherwise dying after a battle. Then he'd turn and run, drawing everything on his tail right back around to our unsuspecting party.

He also wouldn't communicate other than red blips on the map. THAT has got to be my biggest pet peeve. Sometimes a white line and a glowy red thing aren't the best strategy. They help -- yes... but if I say "Hold on one second.." and then he and all the NPCs charge off into battle... it is NOT the warrior's fault if you all die!!

As for healers.. I have decided that it is absolutely possible to make do with just Alesia's incompetance... if you don't mind running around with 60% death penalty anyway. The point is.. you'll get there. EVENTUALLY.

thank dude i peed my pants

holy shit, # 3 is so true, i had one of these people when i was helping a guildie, i was lvl 20 and they were level 10ish, and this necro/something was just like...
"I know the way, its this way you n00b"
then he runs right into a huge crowd and keeps on running, aggroing more people as he goes. after he gets surrounded and dies, he just says "noobs u didnt follow me" and leaves. he was running in the wrong direction the whole time too

I can't really write up a description about it, but I had one last night in Thunderhead Keep: the Narcoleptic.

This guy was in our group for at least two of the 5 tries I had. Both times, he started the mission (like before we even get across the bridge) by going AFK. Then he'd come back just as we were finishing up cleaning out the village. Shortly after catching up to us (about halfway up the hill), he'd go AFK again. Then somehow, miraculously, he'd be back just as we are finishing cleaning out the Keep before the cutscene.

I understand people have issues to take care of outside of the game, but the fact that he vanished and reappeared when we were at the exact same points just makes me think he was lazy.

Actually according to that rating, it should be 13.

Adding to the list, I hate those Monks that think they're God's gift to GW. I've been in parties where they get pissed off for having to heal everyone so much. Geez if you don't like the job, do something else... another profession or go smiting.

Wow... great list. LMAO

I've run into all those characters (sometimes I am the one on the other team laughing at them in pvp though ), and all I can do is laugh at these people when I see (hear?) them...

I don't have a pretentious, "uber than thou" name. My name simply is a first name with what I do put there on the end...

Wow! We have one here in the flesh!!!
Please don't group with me

And just to tell you how to do the fort without monks....
1) You don't need a monk on the king as he is safe.
2) Man BOTH siege guns at BOTH sides and keep shooting. No matter what else is happening. The siege guns will kill or heavily damage most mobs attacking.
3) If your main tank cannot solo Jade Armors and Mursaat without the need of a monk then you need to get a better tank. If they take spectral damage greater than -2 then they are not 100% infused. Any W/M with mending will cover that.

Your trouble is you don't pick your friends good enough. Just grabbing PUG's is a sure way to need monks as you have no idea what fool is in your group.

I am also currently going through all the missions in the game with just npcs to see if it can be done, as PUG's may be worse! I am currently able to npc every mission up to Ring of Fire. I am doing that one next.

Yea, thas happened to me once. I have probobly pissed a fair amount of people off when I end up having to go

I don't know if I laugh or cry but everything in that list is so very true. I even remember this one time in Thunderhead where there were 6 (yes, 6!) ubers of many professions and colors, myself as monk and the other poor soul who was also a monk.

Everybody makes mistakes and I have my share of them but no one gets the heat for them like Monks. It's like every game is a matter of life and death rather than just fun. The other 6 players kept insulting the poor Monk and he would not have listened to the end of it if he had not dropped and I don't blame him for it really. I almost did the same although they never said anything to me but I continued because I wanted to finish the mission and if I had left, I would be just as annoying as all of them. I still don't know how I managed to keep them and especially myself alive. I tell you all, 6 ubers is a killer combo in every sense of the word.

All this reminded of another very common type of player. The ones who think that monks have an energy bar of 1000, energy regeneration of 50 and some skill called "Invincible Against Everything" and god forbid you let them die because if you do, you are a noob, retarded and many other things (in the end, this kind is just one who managed to have most of the "qualities" mentioned on the list).

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winnah~!

(Applauds) Spoken like a true "more uber than thou!" Impressive!
Let me offer something of a surprise for you; you are dead wrong. As a following poster mentioned, your pulling skills lack if you are returning with 20 of anything.
Let me help - try using a missile weapon or spell and "tagging" one of the nearest creatures and run back to your party - it and a few others will follow - not the entire minimap as you so defiantly state.

I have not had a dedicated monk in any group while taking on the Mursaat, and we encountered little difficulty in defeating them. Here's another clue:
Learn how to play the game - don't blame your shortcomings on anything else.
Skill overcomes adversity, always, no exceptions, ever.

Again, I can only say your post displays a clear lack of game mechanics, strategy and exemplifies an overall cluelessness as to what your role is.
You obviously rush straight up the center in your example.
Glorious? Yes.
Stupid? Absolutely.
Your role is not to destroy your team ASAP my little kamikaze friend, but rather to provide the brute force needed to quickly overcome small manageable groups of foes. Try it - you'll be amazed at the results.

But wait, there's more~!

If I name myself after a tampon, by your logic this makes me a gaming genius.
No. That is silly. always.
Theres nothing to find out. Retard is as retard does.
Thank you for providing yourself as an outstanding example of my OP.

Regards,

Talesin

/agree

Wow, nothing can be closer to the truth... And yea... it's funny to just piss them off... i normaly found out that telling them the team doesnt need them, makes them leave, with no kamikaze styles... simply a "You Noobs!!1... Player leaves game..." Of course giving no one time to reply to him, because he's afraid of the responses he might get... and of course... can't control his little "crying baby" symptom... Sometimes they start shouting how crapy everyone is, and don't leave without making some kind of "problem"... but it seems you've already gone over those problems ^.^

Well... first comment on the whole "no monk" idea... Nah... really, it can be done... and really, whats funny... is you're totaly wrong... lots of the harder missions can be done without monks... If you have patience, and "gaming skill"... because as we may know, those "uber" items, dont have better stats then another maxed dmg weapon of the same type... its your skill that matters more... But anyhow... each class comes with its own form of a self heal + defensive abilities... if you actually make your character for a team-sufficient build for a monk, i can see you "Needing" a monk... but every character can solo/team without monks in every place... as long as they have the "skill" needed...

And if you don't think this applies in pvp, you're wrong there too... cause ive won quite a few with No monks... in fact... with this air elemental craze that's going on... its better to not have monks... you cant heal that dmg that fast anyways...

Meh, gotta go... maybe ill come back and comment some more.

Here's a few other common examples:

4.) The Puppetmaster or: "You exist to serve me..."
A control freak. Commonly seen in mission zones yelling "Group seeks players who will listen / do as told!"
Their righteous rage stemmed in their back to back mission failures and the denial/delusion that everyone except them was to blame for it.
I understand this frustration, having authored examples 1-3 in the OP; but this is not the way to deal with it, We are players, not NPCs.
(Although in many cases NPCs are superior to actual players...)

Once in the mission, if anyone steps a pace in front of the Puppetmaster, he screams STOP, and in general speaks exclusively with the CAP LOCK key on.
Does the mission actually run any smoother? No.
Does he typically lead the group into doom? Yes.
Does he do it with authority? Absolutely!
At least there is consistency...

Results: These players are typically mo more skilled than the scrubs described in the OP, with the additional benefit that they suffer from delusions of grandeur and overwhelming megalomania causing them to treat you like NPCs.

Solution: Suggest they CHOOSE NPCs, and drop group immediately.

5.) The foreign exchange student aka "the leech"
You know the guy; he joins the group without uttering a word, and at mission start either:

a.) Promptly runs off in a different direction. (WARNING: May be a SC Kamikaze! See #2 in OP above.)
b.) Goes AFK without notice.
c.) Follows the group but never engages in combat.

He is simply along for the ride. Chances are, he's not even at the computer but watching American idol, or a beauty pageant. Any questions directed at him are met with no response whatsoever.

Results: Seemingly innocuous, the foreign exchange student seeks to "fly under the radar" to pick up some free xp and loot at the expense of your effort - he contributes nothing to the group or the mission.

Solution: Kick him from the group immediately.
NOTE: In many cases, this results in a sudden stream of fluent english; "Why did you kick me?" "I need reinvite!" etc. Don't fall for it.

These posts ring very true.

As far as needing 2 monks, I have found the more I have played the less I have needed a monk, and yes I have done RoF and whatever else map. Helped a guild member through Thunderhead last nite, with only 1 monk. Her/his job was to make sure the king lived. I think we maybe had 2 people die the entire time.


I actually prefer to take henchies, because I have never been suicided by one. It helps reduce that SC factor. I love it when someone asks to join your group then sees you have Alesia (Mehnlo later on) and they are like "HENCHMAN SUCK" and leave. Fine with me though. I actually have kind of grown attached to henchies because I have used them so much.

My guild members and I prefer henchman to fill in, as I have had some of the worst luck lately with SC.

As a matter of fact I accidentally recruited a SC in our guild. He spoke sweet and was very yes sir, yes ma'am. Low and behold he suicided us umpteen times when I was helping guild members through Elona (including him). We had a lvl 15 Monk with us (Templar Bob, great guy thank you for sticking with us) who I could tell this was not his first character, that helped us out greatly. Our Guild member SC would run off aggro on the monk and die and then start swearing at the monk saying he was a n00b and would pwn him because he didn't heal him. We kept at the mission though and I apologized to Bob (anyone else would of left for sure) and he stuck with us. Later on our SC left and we completed the mission. Proud to say with about 12 minutes left on the clock. Then he came back on and was actually angry that we completed the quest without him. This guild member of ours is the worst SC ever, and he will not be wearing our colours for much longer. I am sure when I kick him he will insue with a barrage of insults of how n00b I am, but he has nothing to offer our guild or any guild.

totally agree with everything. i hate entering groups that are like omg we need a monk, omg we dont have enough warriors, omg there are too many rangers *sigh* how about "omg we need people with skill"? hmm?

unfortunately i've teamed up with every single type of person listed here. i just hope no one has put me in one of these groups!

i remeber s guy i think his name was cold fever or something like that he was a E/somthing and he thought he was the best.
So anyway we were all going along quite nicely taking everything on 1 by 1, then he comes out with its this way and runs off into a large group of red dots and once th attacked him he ran back to us.
see 30 red things running at us we did the only thing we could do we ran like hell. After a while he died and started shouting at us how we were all n00bs and we can't play and our monk is $hlT and that we should go res him or pay the price. We just left him in a hole somewere he got in a big stress and left

I've encountered another kind a couple of times. The Beggar:
They keep asking you to give them this, and give them that and asking for loot that was not theirs during missions and even during fights in some extreme cases.

Should they not have their way, they might try to screw the whole mission as a reprisal.

The worst case of this one that I saw was a Warrior/Monk who was in a random party for an infusion run. After we got to the Seer, one of the monsters on the way to the Elodom Boss dropped a Bow (a blue one) and he had to have it for himself god knows why. He kept annoying the hell out of us until the very end. We finished the run and decided to do it again so we rushed to the first group of monsters in order to die quickly and restart without having to look for one another to form the party again. Since he didn't get the Bow he wanted so much, he ran to a corner and stood there just to make us leave the mission and go through the whole thing of regrouping again. Sure enough, his name was "Super something".

Death is the only reward examples 1-5 require.
Now your mission is to help them acquire it ASAP~

i was doing ring of fire mission for the first time a few days ago, and it turned out we had every description mentioned here rolled into a single necro. either stayed way out of the line of fire while we fought or ran straight into the lava and died, then complained when we wanted to leave him there. a monk took pity and resed him, and he proceeded to take off his armor (except boots and gloves!), spout completely childish nonsense, and /flex while we tried to res dead party members and like, be productive *gaspshockhorror*
even after we had clearly decided to leave him dead in the lava (yes, he went back in) he kept saying "ill b guud dun leev me hir!!!!!!!1111!!" and the like. >.< yeah, that's a good way to get your teammates to res you...and kept doing so until our 1 lone warrior left standing finally succumbed to a hoard of phantoms after a long and grueling battle. no thanks to this guys, of course.
some people just don't understand that there's a time to mess around and have fun, and there's a time to buckle down and get to work.