I, Wammo (The Bio I Never Entered)

I never entered this, although I had a lot of fun. I didnt want to insult the artist if it was chosen. A warning--My bio is terribly long
Special thanks to Mesmer Silly for being "teh l33t pwnzor mesmer"
Fu Masa, the warrior in these screenshots, is normally a W/N. I have never played Wammo, so Everything i worte is things i'v seen/heard.


I, Wammo

So, they call me a "Tank". I guess that means I do a lot of damage, because real tanks do.
With healing hands and mending on myself, I become very powerful, because whan things
hit me, I just heal myself. My equipment is the best in the game. I see all those n00bs
running around, with their dumb sticks or uncool, plain swords, and I just laugh! My sword
does ICE damage, far superiour to anything else, and it looks way cooler, too. Im fairly
certain the way the icy blade glows, it has to do extra damage that normal swords don't.
Sometimes, I switch to an orange blade like mighty Prince Rurik uses. Someday, I will be
cool like him, except when I die, I will just heal, because I will put mending on before
battle. Aside from mending, my next favorite skill is frenzy. Ahhh, how godly I feel,
attacking so fast. With only 2 or 3 monks backing me up, I can tank anything, and kill it
extra fast too!
As for who I am allied too, I would have to definitely say Balthazar. He is by far the coolest
god, and far superiour to those Luxxon or Kurzik pansies. Infact, I have ten THOUSAND experience
with Balthazar, so Im about to level up! Im going to be so much better, its scary. I bet that
how those guys with the glowing deer and tiger heads got them! Soon, I will be running around
shouting things like "I will Avenge You" and flashing my cool new level to everyone! So, I will
keep trying to level up in the random arenas, where i PWN everyone, because they're all n00bs!
Infact, sometimes Im so much better then my team, I just stand back and watch. When they realize
how bad they suck and try to blame me, I will put on "Charge" and run around the arena, yelling
things like "n00bzorz!" and "Im teh l337ness!" and the best one, "Heal me!"
(because they dont need to! I have mending, so they will realize I actually dont need healing,
because im that uber) Of course, they will all beome jealous of me, and some will even quit, just
to get out of my skilled presence. Ahh, its good to be the best.
I outgrew my guild long ago. Im not sad. They were all n00bs anyway. I would do my best to
bring all the monsters right to them, turn on frenzy, and start killing, but they wouldnt accept
that I was helping. Instead they refused to heal ME! the TANK! and said "Stupid aggroing wammo".
Whats an aggro, anyway? Well, I left them on rather unpleasent terms, but I await the day I level up
in Balthazar, and they all decide they want me back. I just need to level up first. Dam, this is
taking a while.
Well all, back to the arenas with me!

~Wammo

If you are easily saddened, and a warrior/monk, dont read this.

If you are a monk:
REZ!
Fu Masa is dead!
Fu Masa is dead!
Fu Masa is dead!
REZ!

If you are a ranger, I hope your pet dies
If you are an elementalist, its YOUR fault you got in the way
of the monsters I brought over.
If you are a mesmer, I will soon be thinking WTF!
If you are a necro, I wont stop attacking, and maybe even put
on frenzy so the hex goes away faster.
If you are a warrior and I am hurt, please stop attacking me while
I use healing signet. For some reason, frenzy doesnt make it go faster, but
I will keep trying untill I figure out what Im doing wrong.
If you are an assassin,"WTF! You use frenzy too? No fair!"
If you are a Ritualist, I will keep your spirits dead, just to keep you distracted.

the end

I lol'd.

That was funny. I love humor derived from popular stereotypes.

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That is the greatest thing I have ever read. It almost perfectly describes what ever frenzy wammo in the world thinks!!

Lmao....I love this

hahaah lol
beaten by sum1 in my guilds alliance
oh the joy /tear

very nice

Lmao...Pwned


-LiamB

Haha nice writingskills as well I lol'd

Lol interesting, too bad peopel like that never read this as they are to 1337 for forums

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sh4ft3d...distortion? Sure, you'll hit with your IB, but BB and crushing? nu-uh!

Howd you get killed with mending on you? They must have been hacking.

Oh and what was the point of rebirth in 1v1...?

Either way it was good, you shouldve entered it newb.

Very funny

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Roflmfao

ROFL!! Very nice!

The biography really wasn't that long.

I loved it.

LOL!

Me2 will soon lvl up in balthazar faction:P LOL


DUDE I REALLY LOL'D

it was funny but i didn't lol.

Frenzy.. Lol.. This made my day.

That was some good stuff...You should've entered and won D;

That was great. I lol'd for a looooooooooooong time after reading that.

omg, I laughed my ass off. What makes me laugh, is before I read this, I was doing an alliance battle with a Spiteful Spirit build. I put Spitful Spirit & insidious parasite up on a wammo, he used frenzy, & just went to town. If you guys dont know this, every time he finishes an attack, he takes 70 damage (35, but frenzy 2x) & if he hits, I steal 20. I did a /laugh, and told him to quit & then go practice more, he freaked out, we solo'ed, SS, insidious & reckless haste up, he lasted 3 seconds =)

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Ahh god that was great... Why doesnt my frenzy make my Healing signet go
faster ahh that was Pure gold..

Reminds me of when i was doing the frost gate with my monk, and we had two warriors "we have droks armor" with us. At one point the whole party dies except me and one of the "we have droks armor" warriors, and when i started to res the party, he rushes the summit, screaming at me to heal him. Oh, and wtf is up with warriors yelling to be healed IMMEDIATELY after you cast rebirth?

they seem to have not read the part of the all skills "DISABLED" for ~10 seconds. its like watching a hampster run across a busy highway, watching those unhealed wammos run in....something's gonna die

Since this thread has been bumped back up here, and I got a server error last time I tried to post this, I will do so now:

Everyone loves this, and yet no one realizes that it's in the wrong forum.
/sigh

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Try Lyssa's Fiction, mate, since it is where all the rest of the biographies and writing goes.

very funny

Awesome job....

"My sword does ICE Damage" <--

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And how is it that your hammer, with no skills, hits for 150 on AL70?