Quote:
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Originally Posted by Mustache Mayhem
Scamming Ralph
Hold Ralph's items forever |
Ritualist-esque Humor
Caleb
Genraka
Broken was the CTRL Key
Hold CTRL Key's ashes for the remainder of the mission. While you hold its ashes, The nearest whammo has his ctrl key stuck and announces every thing he does. If he announces that hes using mending, the entire party dies.
Uber was the Assassin
Hold The Assassin's ashes for up to (1...4) seconds. When you drop these ashes, All the
Assassins in your party believe they are Naruto or some other rediculous ninja and shadow steps into the nearest enemy group dying instantly. The enemy in the entire mission/explorable area gain 10 levels for each assassisn they kill.
Hold CTRL Key's ashes for the remainder of the mission. While you hold its ashes, The nearest whammo has his ctrl key stuck and announces every thing he does. If he announces that hes using mending, the entire party dies.
Uber was the Assassin
Hold The Assassin's ashes for up to (1...4) seconds. When you drop these ashes, All the
Assassins in your party believe they are Naruto or some other rediculous ninja and shadow steps into the nearest enemy group dying instantly. The enemy in the entire mission/explorable area gain 10 levels for each assassisn they kill.
Shyft the Pyro
Lamented was Patch
Hold the ashes of the patch for 1...15 hours. While you hold the ashes, monster mobs drop loot even if your party had no part in killing them; monster mobs fail to spread out of the area of repeating damage spells; green items and their corresponding bosses refuse to load; all rare materials traders offer their materials at base, unaugmented price; and each weapon crafter offers nothing but +energy weapons at their original crafting price. However, while holding the ashes your screen is spammed with the "new build" message interspersed with PMs from people you don't know who believe you're a developer. When you drop the ashes, your PC crashes, your character is rolled back 48...24 hours, all items in your inventory are removed, and 20...500 "This patch sucks!" threads are posted in your name on the GuildWarsGuru.com forums.
Hold the ashes of the patch for 1...15 hours. While you hold the ashes, monster mobs drop loot even if your party had no part in killing them; monster mobs fail to spread out of the area of repeating damage spells; green items and their corresponding bosses refuse to load; all rare materials traders offer their materials at base, unaugmented price; and each weapon crafter offers nothing but +energy weapons at their original crafting price. However, while holding the ashes your screen is spammed with the "new build" message interspersed with PMs from people you don't know who believe you're a developer. When you drop the ashes, your PC crashes, your character is rolled back 48...24 hours, all items in your inventory are removed, and 20...500 "This patch sucks!" threads are posted in your name on the GuildWarsGuru.com forums.
Plushie Penguin
Perverted was alliance member
Hold alliance member's ashes for 5...7 months, all hopeless girlfriendless alliance members will try to hit on you
Right
binding ritual. All words you say are ran through spell check and are spelled correctly
Dumb was the caster tanker
hold the ashes of caster/tanker for the rest of the quest/mission. all nearby non warriors/monks/assassins[because assassins think they're already]/rts think they're tanks and will over react if the team says the ranger's pet is better as a tank
Hold alliance member's ashes for 5...7 months, all hopeless girlfriendless alliance members will try to hit on you
Right
binding ritual. All words you say are ran through spell check and are spelled correctly
Dumb was the caster tanker
hold the ashes of caster/tanker for the rest of the quest/mission. all nearby non warriors/monks/assassins[because assassins think they're already]/rts think they're tanks and will over react if the team says the ranger's pet is better as a tank
reverse_oreo
Quote:
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Originally Posted by frojack
Heh heh. Quality..
Heroic Was Rurik For 45 seconds, while holding these ashes, the most over-zealous warrior in your party will seemingly gain the ability to solo all mobs by shouting, 'For Ascalon!'. All their attack skills and adrenaline will recharge twice as fast, and they will have +3 regen, but suffer from -1 energy regen and the requirement of their weapons will be impossible to meet. When you drop these ashes, that ally will shout 'for Ascalon' and their health and energy will drop to 10% |
Glitched
Leet was Teh Uber Pvper
Hold Teh Uber Pvper's ashes for 8-30 seconds. While holding Teh Uber Pvper's ashes, all party members will be graced with the honor of being called a n00b every .5 seconds. When you drop Teh Uber Pvper's ashes, your entire party will be blessed with the great privilege of being subject to an unneseccary rage-quit.
Wealthy was the Chinese Farmer
Hold a Chinese Farmer's ashes for 5-20 seconds. While holding a Chinese Farmer's ashes, all tattooed Mo/W's recieve a huge lag spike. When you drop a Chinese Farmer's ashes, all tattooed Mo/W's error 7 and leave behind 100 plat.
Hold Teh Uber Pvper's ashes for 8-30 seconds. While holding Teh Uber Pvper's ashes, all party members will be graced with the honor of being called a n00b every .5 seconds. When you drop Teh Uber Pvper's ashes, your entire party will be blessed with the great privilege of being subject to an unneseccary rage-quit.
Wealthy was the Chinese Farmer
Hold a Chinese Farmer's ashes for 5-20 seconds. While holding a Chinese Farmer's ashes, all tattooed Mo/W's recieve a huge lag spike. When you drop a Chinese Farmer's ashes, all tattooed Mo/W's error 7 and leave behind 100 plat.
TwinRaven
Ashes of Gwen:
As with the cape, flute and tapesry shred: these ashes serve no useful purpose but to reduce the palyers inventory by yet another slot.
As with the cape, flute and tapesry shred: these ashes serve no useful purpose but to reduce the palyers inventory by yet another slot.
Astraea Zopyros
Quote:
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Originally Posted by XvArchonvX
Persistant was Norton
While you hold Norton's ashes the next time you encounter a large battle, Norton's Antivirus will automatically pop up in the backround of your computer and run a comprehensive virus scan causing you to lag to the point of uselessness. When you drop Norton's 6 black dyes and 9 ectos drop for you all at once and windows crashes just before you reach them. |
Ilya Khan
Not to burst your bubble, but I think there already is a Spirit of Tranquility or something like that. Ranger spirit, I beleive...but I suppose you can make a Rt one 
DaerunAxis
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Overnite
Crap was Factions
Lose 999 gold and hold the pieces of Chapter 2 CDs for up to 20...30 seconds. When dropped, Crap was Factions deals 100...150 damage to every player using Factions skills. |
Lordhelmos
Weapon of Asstanking:
Weapon Spell. Cast time: 1, recharge time: 3, Cost: 10
For 10-30 seconds target allied assassin has a weapon of asstanking. While holding this weapon the target assassin takes 0 damage from attacks and cannot be the target of enemy spells. When weapon of asstanking ends the target assassin is instantly killed. Weapon of Asstanking ends prematurely and does not cause death if the allied assassin uses Aura of Displacement.
FtL was Mending:
Item Spell. Cast time: 2, recharge time: 20, Cost: 15
Hold Mending's ashes for 10-25 seconds. All nearby creatures enchanted by mending suffer -10 life degeneration instead as long as you hold the ashes. When you drop Mending's ashes, all creatures in the area not enchantment by mending are enchanted by protective spirit for 10-25 seconds.
Leeroy's Banishment:
Enchantment Spell. Cast time: 1, recharge time 3: Cost: 5
Target Warrior/Monk is enchanted by Leeroy's Banishment. If the target warrior leaves your aggrivation bubble, the enchanted warrior is teleported to your location and Leeroy's Banishment ends.
Fallen was 55:
Item Spell. Cast time: 2, recharge time: 20, Cost: 10
Hold 55's ashes for 15 seconds. While holding 55's ashes you cannot be the target of enemy spells and take 0 damage from attacks. When 55's ashes are dropped, all creatures are dealt 55 damage. This damage ignores armor and all magical defenses.
Fixed was Aspenwood:
Item Spell. Cast time: 2, recharge time: 30, Cost: 15
Hold Aspenwood's ashes for 3-5 minutes. While holding the ashes all faction rewards are doubled. When you drop aspenwood's ashes all players who have not moved within the last 60 seconds are booted out of the game and replaced by henchmen.
Remembered was Jade Quarry:
Item Spell. Cast time: 5, recharge time: 45, Cost: 5
Hold Jade Quarry's ashes for 5-10 minutes. While holding the ashes, 3-5 random players are teleported to Jade Quarry each second and their world maps are disabled. When you drop ashes of Jade Quarry, all players in Jade Quarry must play 5-10 games until their world maps are enabled. This spell can be used in towns and outposts.
Weapon Spell. Cast time: 1, recharge time: 3, Cost: 10
For 10-30 seconds target allied assassin has a weapon of asstanking. While holding this weapon the target assassin takes 0 damage from attacks and cannot be the target of enemy spells. When weapon of asstanking ends the target assassin is instantly killed. Weapon of Asstanking ends prematurely and does not cause death if the allied assassin uses Aura of Displacement.
FtL was Mending:
Item Spell. Cast time: 2, recharge time: 20, Cost: 15
Hold Mending's ashes for 10-25 seconds. All nearby creatures enchanted by mending suffer -10 life degeneration instead as long as you hold the ashes. When you drop Mending's ashes, all creatures in the area not enchantment by mending are enchanted by protective spirit for 10-25 seconds.
Leeroy's Banishment:
Enchantment Spell. Cast time: 1, recharge time 3: Cost: 5
Target Warrior/Monk is enchanted by Leeroy's Banishment. If the target warrior leaves your aggrivation bubble, the enchanted warrior is teleported to your location and Leeroy's Banishment ends.
Fallen was 55:
Item Spell. Cast time: 2, recharge time: 20, Cost: 10
Hold 55's ashes for 15 seconds. While holding 55's ashes you cannot be the target of enemy spells and take 0 damage from attacks. When 55's ashes are dropped, all creatures are dealt 55 damage. This damage ignores armor and all magical defenses.
Fixed was Aspenwood:
Item Spell. Cast time: 2, recharge time: 30, Cost: 15
Hold Aspenwood's ashes for 3-5 minutes. While holding the ashes all faction rewards are doubled. When you drop aspenwood's ashes all players who have not moved within the last 60 seconds are booted out of the game and replaced by henchmen.
Remembered was Jade Quarry:
Item Spell. Cast time: 5, recharge time: 45, Cost: 5
Hold Jade Quarry's ashes for 5-10 minutes. While holding the ashes, 3-5 random players are teleported to Jade Quarry each second and their world maps are disabled. When you drop ashes of Jade Quarry, all players in Jade Quarry must play 5-10 games until their world maps are enabled. This spell can be used in towns and outposts.
BowLad21
Drugged was Player
Hold the ashes of Player for 200-300 seconds. When you drop the ashes of Player, a level 10 spirit of Soothing is summoned and everyone is content.
Hold the ashes of Player for 200-300 seconds. When you drop the ashes of Player, a level 10 spirit of Soothing is summoned and everyone is content.
ShadowStorm
Truely Dead was the Monk
This spell may not be used unless your PUG has been looking for a monk to complete the group for at least 10 minutes. Hold the ashes of a fallen monk for 15 minutes. Within the first 5 seconds of holding these ashes, a monk will appear and attempt to join your group. Once the group sets out into an explorable area or mission zone, your group will soon realize that the monk you brought with you is neither healing nor protecting your group at all. In fact, that monk is carrying a sword and charging into the middle of every group you encounter. When there are only 3 minutes left to hold these ashes, the monk will die. All attempts to ressurect said monk will fail. Attempts to talk with the monk about what is going on will also fail, as the player playing the monk does not speak the same language you do. When you drop the ashes, the monk will leave your group.
This spell may not be used unless your PUG has been looking for a monk to complete the group for at least 10 minutes. Hold the ashes of a fallen monk for 15 minutes. Within the first 5 seconds of holding these ashes, a monk will appear and attempt to join your group. Once the group sets out into an explorable area or mission zone, your group will soon realize that the monk you brought with you is neither healing nor protecting your group at all. In fact, that monk is carrying a sword and charging into the middle of every group you encounter. When there are only 3 minutes left to hold these ashes, the monk will die. All attempts to ressurect said monk will fail. Attempts to talk with the monk about what is going on will also fail, as the player playing the monk does not speak the same language you do. When you drop the ashes, the monk will leave your group.
Kijik Oni Hanryuu
Calming Was Gaile Gray
Hold Gaile Gray's ashes for 20-30 minutes, while holding Gaile Gray's ashes everyone will be happy and excited. When you drop Gaile Gray's ashes everyone will be mad and flame Gaile Gray because the updates they wanted didn't happen the day after Gaile Gray talked about them.
Hold Gaile Gray's ashes for 20-30 minutes, while holding Gaile Gray's ashes everyone will be happy and excited. When you drop Gaile Gray's ashes everyone will be mad and flame Gaile Gray because the updates they wanted didn't happen the day after Gaile Gray talked about them.
Kijik Oni Hanryuu
Flamed was Anet
Hold Anet's ashes for 20-30 days, while holding Anet's ashes everyone will complain about how Anet doesn't give them everything they want, like free money, when you drop Anet's ashes everyone will start crying because Anet got tired of the whiners and turned off the Guild Wars servers.
Hold Anet's ashes for 20-30 days, while holding Anet's ashes everyone will complain about how Anet doesn't give them everything they want, like free money, when you drop Anet's ashes everyone will start crying because Anet got tired of the whiners and turned off the Guild Wars servers.
Dr Strangelove
Gaze from Behind
Follow target female elementalist for 1..5 minutes. If you are a warrior, begin dancing whenever you enter melee range.
Grasping Was Pedophile
For 10..30 seconds all foes in the area will ask for your A/S/L and offer you candy.
L33t Weapon
For 10..30 seconds, target ally wields a crystalline sword but does half damage.
Follow target female elementalist for 1..5 minutes. If you are a warrior, begin dancing whenever you enter melee range.
Grasping Was Pedophile
For 10..30 seconds all foes in the area will ask for your A/S/L and offer you candy.
L33t Weapon
For 10..30 seconds, target ally wields a crystalline sword but does half damage.
ColaManiac
Deadly was gwen
Hold Gwen's ashes for 2..10 seconds. Every foe in the area of ashes take 10...100 fire damage every second and when Gwen's ashes are dropped it will create lvl1...30 gwen clone
Hold Gwen's ashes for 2..10 seconds. Every foe in the area of ashes take 10...100 fire damage every second and when Gwen's ashes are dropped it will create lvl1...30 gwen clone
Guardian Rohan
Summon Stupid Ass
Summons lvl 20 Wammo with droks platemail
nuff said
Summons lvl 20 Wammo with droks platemail
nuff said
ekamdu
Annoying are the spambots
Create a lvl 1...10 spirit. This spirit can only be summoned in outposts. Every player who says a message containing "WTS" more than 9...2 times a second will be muted for 7...471 years and loses all items worth more than 200gp.
Death to the 55ers
Item Spell. Hold a 55hp monks ashes. All 55hp monks in the world, everywhere, take 55 damage. This damage negates protection spells like Protective Spirit. If for some weird reason the 55hp monk does not die from this spell, he dies. When you drop the ashes he gets banned and you get all his gold gotten by farming.
Create a lvl 1...10 spirit. This spirit can only be summoned in outposts. Every player who says a message containing "WTS" more than 9...2 times a second will be muted for 7...471 years and loses all items worth more than 200gp.
Death to the 55ers
Item Spell. Hold a 55hp monks ashes. All 55hp monks in the world, everywhere, take 55 damage. This damage negates protection spells like Protective Spirit. If for some weird reason the 55hp monk does not die from this spell, he dies. When you drop the ashes he gets banned and you get all his gold gotten by farming.
ekamdu
All Your Base Are Belong To Us
Enchantment Spell. Lasts 1...1337 hours. Everyone playing guildwars sees the "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" clip, and all our bases are belong to you. All the players are starting to type almost unreadable english, especially the french. You have no chance of survive made your time. ha ha ha.
Enchantment Spell. Lasts 1...1337 hours. Everyone playing guildwars sees the "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" clip, and all our bases are belong to you. All the players are starting to type almost unreadable english, especially the french. You have no chance of survive made your time. ha ha ha.
ShadowStorm
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lordhelmos
Leeroy's Banishment:
Enchantment Spell. Cast time: 1, recharge time 3: Cost: 5 Target Warrior/Monk is enchanted by Leeroy's Banishment. If the target warrior leaves your aggrivation bubble, the enchanted warrior is teleported to your location and Leeroy's Banishment ends. |
Leeroy's Banishment
Enchantment Spell. Cast time: 1, recharge time 3: Cost: 5
Target Warrior/Monk is enchanted by Leeroy's Banishment for the next 60 seconds. If the targeted Warrior/Monk would aggro any enemy group by any means other than attacking with a longbow, the enchanted Warrior/Monk shadowsteps to your location instead and the enemy group does not become aggroed. If the enchanted Warrior/Monk shadowsteps as a result of this enchantment, this enchantment is renewed for another 60 seconds.
Liu
Spiteful Was Kanaxai
Hold Kanaxai's ashes for 30 seconds, if Kanaxai dies when you are holding his ashes. The party member with the least amount of helpful skills, who died the most, will be assigned two of Kanaxai's weapons.
Hold Kanaxai's ashes for 30 seconds, if Kanaxai dies when you are holding his ashes. The party member with the least amount of helpful skills, who died the most, will be assigned two of Kanaxai's weapons.
Jetdoc
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Dr Strangelove
Gaze from Behind
Follow target female elementalist for 1..5 minutes. If you are a warrior, begin dancing whenever you enter melee range. |
Gotta come up with a derivation for the female ritualist as well.
Anorexic was Da'Sin
Item Spell. Hold a female assassin's cigarette ashes for 10...30 seconds. As long as you hold the ashes, every female assassin in the area gains 50 pounds and consumes all candy canes, eggnog and half-eaten masses in their inventory. When you drop the ashes, each assassin affected by this spell purges themselves while using a combination of the "/kneel" and "/catchbreath" emotes.