Besides Mandar's excellent post, I'd just add this...
- A good monk recognizes that retreat is sometimes the best choice for the team to succeed.
- A good monk acknowledges and assess the group that they are in, and is able, or simply willing, to adjust their approach to benefit that particular group.
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Personally, I feel bad for letting the pet on the team die, but.. can't afford to use energy which could save the team on the pet. I've died more than I would have liked to, because.. I die easily having nothing really to defend myself.
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I understand how you feel there, regarding the pet. As a secondary support healer, I try to keep the pets going when the monks are otherwise occupied. Here are a couple of tips that may help...
- Warriors and friendly undead minions are excellent for dropping aggro on. So if you're being pounded on by a foe, if one of those allies is closeby then try to position yourself in a manner that places them between you and the foe. Often times they will attract the aggo, taking it off of you. But in general, it's difficult for a tank to leave what they're doing to run back to you, and minions have their own agenda, kinda. If a warrior sees the monk running in circles around them, they'll probably get involved, lol.
- Necros w/blood can really help ease the healing strain, and even have the ability to enhance your energy so you can cast more quickly. If you're lucky enough to have a good blood necro on your team, give them some attention too as most of their spells take a big cut from their maximum health... not that they are in danger of dying so much, it's that if their health is too low then they will commit suicide casting support spells on you and the others.
- It's ok to heal minions. They can really have a tremendous impact on keeping the enemies occupied, hence keeping the aggro off you and the other spellcasters for as long as possible. So if you have the extra energy, and/or recognize that the only thing between you and that lvl 24 Mountain Troll is a bone horror, go ahead and give them a little bump.
- It does make a difference when the monk is as conscious of her/his supporters as they are of her/him, and is able to get into a groove going with them. That's what my second point at the top of this post is about. Not only does it make things go more smootly, but the camaraderie thing starts to kick in. When a party feels invested in each other, they go out of their way to keep each other alive.
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-A good monk never turns his nose up to rangers, necros, or mesmers
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Quoted for truth.