Ah, the UW stupidity collection

Have a stupid story about your adventures in UW? Well this is your place to compile them! That's right, now you don't have to make a whole thread about it!

My expireince today: my smiting group was clearing out bladed Aaxttees and a Ranger kept trying to tank and place traps around them. We kept warning him not too but he kept persisting, once even saying "Sorry telephone"

He amazingly never died and we cleared everyone out. Afterward he says "Should I talk to ghost now" nobody told him not too but oddly he auto keys it and says "I'm talking to Lost Soul!" "I'm talking to Lost soul!"

And so I just step into the area and the Shadowy octopus things run out and four people die, he and I run around a bit in a Scooby Doo routine and then die. One rangerr says "Nice job, [Insert name]" And hes says "WASNT ME NOOB" then leaves XD

LOL! "Wasn't me, NOOB" when he auto-keys it. *snorts*

I've had guys take Escort of Souls + Unwanted Guests and then quit.

My favorite was a trapper team I was on once. The traps cripple the monsters, meaning that they're easy to outrun. But three members of the team didn't really seem to understand this, and kept trying to tank.

Whack whack splat. Whack whack splat. Whack whack splat.

The other three of us kept trying to explain how trying to tank the things was dumb. We understood the whole “lay a trap, let it run over the trap, pelt it with arrows” routine fairly well. None of us ever died. For that matter, none of us were ever hit. But the three idiots who kept trying to tank never quite got it. One of them started to get the idea by the end, but he had a bad habit of not running in the direction of traps. The critter chasing him would eventually recover, catch up, and kill him. That was just poor skills and panic on his part I think, not stupidity.

The others were just stupid. They kept complaining that they were doing all the tanking. We tried just leaving them dead for a while so we could demonstrate how to fight without tanks, but they told us that that was dumb and weak. In the end, the three of us that knew what we were doing just returned to TOA and went back together without the newbies.

Once I wanted to go to UW and I guy was spamming that he and his group were going to UW and they needed a Monk, and I was playing with my Monk. I joined them and the group was full, so he asked everyone was ready, and everyone was. Luckily he payed the 1 Platinum, but all of the sudden I saw a loading screen with "Fissure of Woe". I was confused and asked what was wrong, he said he made a mistake. I thought, well, shit happens, and I didn't got anything to do in FOW so I just left After a while the team died with just one sucky Monk and asked me to come with them again. And I thought, why not? But again he brought us to Fissure of Woe. I thought, WTF is that guy doing and he said he made a mistake.. again. So this time I just left, but Korea already took away our favor of the gods..

It makes me laugh when I think about it now, but damn that guy was stupid

(I dont remember exact energy and wont say names)
Mr Healer: My Energy is 3 of 52
[They run at a group of 3 bladed battle axes (I think thats what they're called)]
Fool No. 1: HEAL US FFS!!
Fool No. 2: HEAL US U ******G NOOB
Fool No. 3: UR A **** MONK
Fool No. 1: *****
Mr Healer: I dont have any energy
Fool No. 2: WELL A PROPER MONK DOESNT RUN OUT OF ENERGY!!!!!!111

I was sitting at the back doing my best to keep the degeneration going on them while this was going on, I just couldn't believe the ignorance of those three people, shortly after that one of them started the quest that spawns the invincible guys and ran at them....I think everyone can quess what happend next.

Had all kinds of stupid shit happen in groups before I started to go solo. Most of it from W/mo's.

Had stupid W/mo's run infront of the rangers traps to tank the Aatxes keeping them from getting to the traps.....repeatedly even after being told about it.

--------------
"Experienced" warrior joins group. Zone in. Warrior aggros and tries to tank 3 Aatxe, dies in 2 seconds. Rest of grup zergs them down with blinds and traps.

"Experienced" Warrior: "Wow!"

Me: "Wonderful. " "How about bringing Gladiators, Shield Stance, and Bonetti's next time chief".

"Experienced" Warrior": "I don't have Gladiators, and the others don't last long anyway I'm a strength warrior."
-----------------

Not UW but FoW.

Stupid Trinity group a couple weeks ago with 3 W/mos and a W/e, 2 Ele's, 1 healing monk and me as protect monk.

4 Warriors rush a group of shadows. 4 warriors stand in the middle of Spiteful Spirit and don't move. 4 Warriors stand int he middle of Ae's and don;t move. 4 warriors die in 5 seconds.

4 Warriors "You noob monks can't heal worth a shit".

i bet he was doin it on purpose and he was korean but wat does it matter if the favor is our's or not,i dont understand

Oh there are too many tales to tell.

Leroy Jenkins or however you spell it. Idiot warrior gives the platinum before I had a chance to set all my skills. Moron warrior rushes the dryders screaming "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEEENKKKKKKKKKKINS!!!!" while the aatxe and grasping darkness are still there. He dies instantly naturally, I managed to tank it but everyone was dead and I didn't bring a res signet. At which point that idiot calls me the noob and left.

We bring down a level 17 monk who died twice per aatxe. One of the first enemies that dies drops a glob, and the lowly monk asks if he could have it. Naturally we're all saying no, they're worth several platinum. So the guy rushes everything then leaves.

Smite runs... hmm, how many warriors don't understand what DON'T ATTACK means. I kept saying "Let them surround me, then the nukers do their job". Constantly players rush in my aggro circle before the smites are on me and they follow the warrior back to the casters.

surprised noone brought up the uw-classic:

teamchat before entering:
1: okay - noone talks to the ghost
2: sure
3: what ghost?
4: k
5: *silence*
6: let's go already... GOGOGO
7: i am ready, lead on
1: there is a ghost near the start, dont talk to him or we all die by hordes of squids
3: i see,... okay then
8: brb, fetching sth to drink
1: all ready?
6: GOGOGO!!!
2: sure
7: whenever you want...
3: all set
6: can we go now???????????
5: *silence*
8: i am back, thx - all set and ready to roll

----- party enters uw -----

1: DONT TALK TO THE GHOST, STAY ON THE PLATFORM
2: dont talk to the ghost
3: looks spooky in here
6: stfu, letz pwn them
8: -casts enchantments-
4: whatever you do - dont talk to the ghost!
5 goes to the ghost....
7: DONT !!! TALK TO THE GHOST
1: DONT talk to the ghost...
5 talks to the ghost while 6 runs into the first mob and dies after a few seconds. the squids come ... everybody dies in another few seconds.

There is ALAWAYS someone that speaks to the ghost, you say it over and over but they just dont listen, as soon as they apear, everyone just says, well it was good, cya'l later, because they know whats about to happen.

Lol, I'd definitely go do that in underworld if it didn't require installing guildwars, and me having to stand pve for 20 minutes.

Well I have an interesting experience as well.... I was in the fissure though..

Well it all started great: no one talked to ghost, beat the tower of courage quite easily even though people were yelling at each other. Excellent... this may be a good group. Went for the banshee quest and died a few times on the way there becuase of a few miss agros from a kamakazee elementalist.

All the while, some mesmer didnt seem to be doing too much, yet stayed quiet. Minus the few outburst of "noobs" of course. But he stays with us even though one person leaves.... We clear out everything on our side of bridge, then start pulling other things like the undead patrols that were on the opposite side. Cleared one patrol out, one to go before we hammer on the banshees.

Since there was one undead patrol left by the banshees, we pulled them from the other end of the bridge. Well, this whole time im saying "dont go across bridge" in the light of agroing the banshees. But what does this particualar mesmer do? Well evidently there was some kind of loot that was "oh so beautiful" that was droped from the previous undead straggler that he had to run across the bridge, take the agro of the undead patrol that we were already pulling as well as the banshees. He picks up the item he could not just wait for. Well needless to say he simply logs out as soon as he dies and of corse after all that agro, we died. GG mesmer, waste of an hour plus.

It just realllly ticks me off sometimes when people do this to thier group just for one item. Needless to say I will not be grouping with him or any of his alts anytime soon, nor will my buddies.

And you wondered why I didn't let you come play UW with me...

Lol nash, I'd never do something like that to people I know, only randoms. <3

Heh heh heh. Sounds funny. It wouldn't be funny if I did that because I only use the relative geniuses know as henchies, and they just die with the instance.

I got the Best story:

A group of us Trappers were down In UW one day and one of us said something like "WOOT I got residue" Since we all know residue is total crap. Well this NOOB trapper was with us and asked all of if Residue was good. Without missing a beat we all said It was the best Drop in all of the UW. and you can sell it for like 20K and the like. From then on we proceded to string the poor Bastard along till He was happy to get residue and even said stuff like you Luck bastard when We got some. By the End of the UW run I was almost crying . We even tried to trade our residue for Ecto or sell it for 1K a piece. He never got any Ecto Lucky for him and whwn we gor back to the surface we told him the residue was total crap. But you should have been there.

Oh man, I had a hellacious UW group one time...

Ok, so it's me(W/Mo tank), another W/(necro, I think?) tank, 2 monks(healbots, very bad ones- I'll get to that in a sec), a necro(not sure his focus, but not minions or wells), 2 elementalists(a nuker of some sort and a point-blank nuker, I think #2 was- more on him too in a sec), and a ranger(trapper). Looks pretty solid on paper, right? We got a couple tanks, a couple healers, a couple nukers, a trapper, and a necro to do his thing. Should be kickass.

Ohboy.

Let's start with the Ranger, because he kicked off everyone one of our misbegotten encounters. Dude says "Let me pull I'm ranger and I can pull good." We go, well, ok, he's gonna be setting traps anyways, right? Let him set his traps and pull the aatxes back onto them. Then us tanks can lock 'em down and get 'em nuked. Classic tactics. Well, the ranger goes and sets ONE trap(a fire trap I think, although we'll never know for sure) near the base of the stairs ahead of us tanks, and then runs forward just as a single patrolling aatxes is wandering past the first 2 stand-stills. Rangerboy doesn't bother using his bow to aggro them; oh no, REAL MEN run up and use their STUPID UGLY FACE to get the badguy's attention! So he aggro's all 3 aatxes, and kinda half runs, half backpedals to the stairs, and then decided it's time to STAND AND FIGHT, BOYS! Well me and the other tank, not knowing any better yet and being gallent souls, rush forward to engage and try and save this dumb schmuck. Amazingly it works, we draw aggro off the ranger(who ran away like a ninny and hid behind the monks at this point). Now we have 3 pissed off and unharmed and un-debuffed aatxes in our face. Great.

Well, we die in the most rapid and horrendous manner possible, because the aatxes are spiking the HELL outta us and our monks seem to have loaded only a handful of heals- maybe signet of devotion, I dunno. Not enough to even come close to dealing with the damage we're taking.(later I saw one of them use healing seed on myself, about 8 seconds before I came into range of another aatxe- oh these guys were good.) While we're getting cut to ribbons, here's what the rest of our team is doing though:

The monks are kinda half-assed healing us, basically giving us an extra 5 seconds to make peace with our maker before going to visit him.

The ranger that got us into this mess is running screaming for somewhere safe, like maybe pre-searing ascalon city, somewhere near the bridge where you first come into existance.

One elementalist is hanging right behind our battle line, I think trying to do point-blank AoE's. Couldn't tell, because the second I died he came under attack from 2 aatxes and died almost instantly.

The necro is right next to that first elementalist, I think casting vampiric touch. Whatever it did, it didn't help. He lasted .9 seconds longer than the elementalist.

The last elementalist is back with the monks, throwing down AoE's(firestorm, I think it was, maybe a meteor or two as well) at where the aatxes HAD been. Now, maybe he was just lagged, or maybe we weren't holding them in place long enough for his spells to hit. So, I'll give him benefit of the doubt that he PROBABLY wasn't an idiot.

Somehow after the 4 of us on the frontline died, the survivors were able to break aggro with the two sentinels and bring down the patrolling aatxes that we'd beaten on. First Battle: aatxes 4, group 1. So everyone is cursing everyone else out(mostly me and the tank other cursing out the monks, but also the ranger a bit) and throwing around blame, while the monks are ressing people and getting everyone healed. We're almost ready to take another go at the first aatxes when suddenly the other tank goes "Wait, you used WHAT on me?" and falls over dead- Hey man, who knew vengeance had a 30 second time limit! Oops! Yeah, vengeance, the skill for giving you one last chance to bring that bastard that killed you down, and works OH SO WELL after the battle is over! Mind boggling.

Needless to say the rest of that UW experience was equally spectacular, featuring us attacking, fighting, dying, and being res'd sometime after very often. Against all odds and logical expectations we managed to fight through to the completion of the first quest(most of us with 60% DP by midway through), and then naturally someone selected both of the next quests from that ghost and got us all killed by Vengeful Aatxes. Infamous last words: "They can't REALLY be impossible to kill. Shut up and tank them for us."

ROFL. These stories are classic. Simply classic. A lot of them can be applied to groups in ascension as well with the exception of not talking to the ghosts and taking quests. Personally, I think monks get to see the most idiots in the game.

I wish there were some sort of feedback mechanism like on auction sites. Real tough to weed the the bad ones in PUGs for FoW/UW - mostly because its soooo time consuming. But man am I glad Anet expanded the friends and idiot list in game.

My UW experiences usually have the same result.

Enter UW.
W/Mo runs off right away to fight the closest mob.
Party rushes over to help W/Mo.
W/Mo dies.
Cussing.
Party wipe.

I've had that UW then go to FOW deal, some people dont know better, more like they dont bother to fricking read!!

Anyway, too many stupid stories, one of the more memorable ones was w/ a 4 man smite run.

ele kept asking: What should I do?
Me: What all other eles do, strip and get naked! You nuke man
ele: OK, should I nuke now? (fighting aatxe)
me and monk: WHAT?!
ele: Tell me what to do
Me: when enemies come you atk
*ele then goes to tanking range when I'm tanking 2 aatxe at once*
me: Stay back, Dont aggro them, I do the tanking(me w/mo)
ele: oh

anyway, this goes on until he drops(quit or crashed whatever) and we finished the smite run w/ 3 people, not one of us died. We got mostly crap, but ended up making up the 1plat.

2 healers and no prot.....they thought we would do just fine. I wasn't paying so I didnt care.

Fissure of woe (yeah "woe" is so apt sometimes!)
as per usual europe gains favour at 1am local time and can expect to have it for only 20 minutes, not being particularly fussed about getting in or not, I decided to take the chance on my necro, he badly needed the exp for the skill points for the last 2 elite caps, either by fluke or accident I actually got into a group (call the press: necro finds a group!), I took my feast of corruption/desecrte enchantments spike build since with 3 monks we were lacking damage output (I know what you're thinking, 3 monks in fow, lol).

The spam started before we were even in there "dont talk to ghost" "dont take the quest" etc.
When we got in, despite my best efforts to use sound reason in explaining it make no difference if you take the quest at the start or not: the spam continued, if I had maximised the chat window the spam would not have fit on the screen (1280x1024 res). I shrugged it off and decided to proove them wrong by example, nobody took the quest and when the specific group of rangers/abysmal fell Rastigan ran in aggro'ing everything in his path. Faced with this evidence I decided to rub it in and fired off the obligatory "I told you so"...

but no "OMG NOOB! shut up, dont take the quest, protect the ghost"

you gotta laugh
/sigh

I've been trying valiantly to disprove that particular myth for a while now. So many PUG's I've been in don't seem to understand how Rastigan works. It isn't the same as the Lost Soul/Grasping Darkness thing in the UW. But... like so many things in this game, it's just one more thing that n00bs just can't grasp.

Yes, Sarah, ive seen Gwen. But my Party Leader says i am not allowed to talk to stranger-npcs. sorry.

now THATS discipline.

As much as I know a lot of people hate when someone takes the quest, I just don't see it as a big deal now. The only problem I find with it is that the rest of the group gets angry. As long as your casters stand back far enough until the aatxe and grasping darkness are on your warrior (like they should be doing anyway), you will be fine. Your warriors should easily be able to handle any number of grasping darkness anyway (if not then well you deserve to die).

Anyway, with a group last night. Firstly, the guy makes me pay 250 gold because apparently I didn't pay the 125 when he first asked for it. Not that it made any difference to me but to call me a liar just bugged the hell out of me. But once we get down there, the other warrior in the group died very quickly and let one of the aatxe through to the rest of the group. Everyone starts screaming how we're the worst tanks ever, and we're lucky to have gotten out of the situation. Then before the warrior is revived, the moron leader rushes the other group on the other set of stairs without waiting for the patrol to pass by. So now I have to tank 3 aatxe while I'm still waiting for two of my stances to recharge. Thankfully Bonetti's kept me alive until they filled, always does. I was down to ONE health and bleeding but for some reason didn't die and Healing Signet saved the day. Two aatxe down, one to go. The leader starts bursting, great tanking there, way to almost die. Next set of two, again he rushes before we're all ready (by the way, our idiot leader was necro trying to tank everything). So I have to run in front of the necro while I'm still bleeding and about 2/3rd's health. This was pretty much how every encounter with the aatxe went.

Finally, someone grabs the quest. I'm standing up where two of the sets will appear and surround me quickly enough. Everyone is calling me a noob at this point and to get down by they were. Not sure how many times I said "Just get the quest, and don't attack till they're on me, both sets". Naturally, once they appear, wonderboy the necro runs up and gets wasted luring 4 grasping down to the rest of the party. At which point he says "Yeah, way to lure them to the group". Why doesn't anyone listen... it was at that point I made it abundantly clear that he had no idea what he was doing.

Now, I wanted my revenge on this moron, and against everyone except my fellow warrior. We're near the dryders so I rush all the aatxe and grasping that are around that area. The other warrior and myself tank throughout the entire ordeal while I'm screaming "Monk, flee now". One monk and myself live (the warrior died from a grasping darkness that came from down the hall... made me cry). We start reviving and once I bring the necro back he says "Great tanking there. Saved us all". I was shocked, but not sure if he was being sarcastic or not considering I made the dumb move.

And as most UW stories end, someone took Unwanted Guests and Escort the Souls. Boy, did the flaming start there.