Murphy's Laws of Guild Wars

1. When playing an Ele in Comp Arenas, only the other team will have a healer.
2. When playing a healer in Comp Arenas, the other team will have two, and you will sit there for ten minutes watching your W/Mo's beat on them.
3. You will always activate Frenzy as the enemy Elementalist's Phoenix recharges.
4. Any team without Windborne Speed, Ward vs Foes, energy-based sprints, etc. will have to do both relic runs on the way to Halls.
5. If you bring Ward vs Harm, nobody will play ranger spike.
6. If you are trying to take Halls, your warrior will Error 7. If you're trying to hold Halls, your prot monk will Error 7.
7. Against IWAY, Order of the Vampire will always be up for that five-second break between Aegises.
8. You always miss Power Drains when you're low on energy, but have immaculate timing when you have 30 left.
9. Whichever monk is highest on energy will get the Inspired Hex off first.
10. The guy who carries the res orb will always be the one guy who doesn't know that switching weapons drops it.
11. The Hammer warrior's Devastating Hammer will always recharge right as you cast Ether Renewal.
12. In Comp Arenas, if you bring an Elementalist, the other team will consist of nothing but interrupt rangers. If you bring an interrupt ranger, they will have nothing but warriors.
13. In Comp Arenas, the one guy who brought a res signet dies first.
14. On a team with multiple people running Energy Drain and Energy Tap, they will all choose to hit the same guy that the mesmer just Power Leaked.
15. The Edge Bomb always goes off right as Mark of Protection drops.
16. In a Random PUG, the leader will always start before people discuss builds. These groups always have two monks running Martyr, or no condition removal at all.
17. You will always be Diverted while casting Heal Party or Infuse Health, never Aura of Restoration or Life Attunement.
18. The amount of hex removal the enemy team runs is proportional to the number of hexes you run. If you run Lingering Curse or a water ele, they will have a Holy Veil-spamming Blessed Signet monk.
19. If you run Blessed Signet, you'll go up against a team with Nature's Renewal.
20. If you are the interrupter, it's always the monk you don't Migraine that runs Aegis, Remove Hex, and Seed. You will target the one with Reversal of Fortune, Protective Spirit, Infuse Health, and Healing Hands.

If you're a warrior in CA, a mesmer will land Imagined Burden on you (and refresh every time it's about to drop), whenever you're on a team with no hex removal.

Rule of Squishiness...

The squishier you are, the sooner you are targetted.

Conundrum on Monks... (witnessed last night)

When you finally get a monk in CA, he'll be level 14.

When going against mesmers, one might notice that a monk has "Soothing Images" on him or her.

In Random Arenas:

Whenever you bring a cripple, it's never needed.

Whenever you decide not to bring a cripple, a running ranger decides to go for a jog...

If you are a healing monk, your team will have two other healing monks. If you are any other character, your team will have none.

You will target the wrong guy.

So true it's scary...

If you are a mesmer, you will never get a team with any sort of monk. Thus they will attack you first.

The one time you decide not to bring self-heals and purely run damage/interrupts, you won't get any sort of healer.

If you're a monk, stacked Wither + Malaise will always hit you when your energy is at 3 and there are no necros on your team.

99999. Murphy was a Guild Wars player.

If you create a post not being similar to the first post, you will be damned...



this is fooking stupid

Murphy's law is nothing more than a ridiculous mental screening of the world that completely ignores the other 95% of the time when things DO work out. These times are usually completely missed by the subscribers of said idiotic theory.

In comp areana, play an Elementalist Ether Renewal Healer with heavy healing enchants and Glyph of Concentration.

In the Comp Arena, if you are the only caster in a group full of warriors, no one will think to guard you.... ever!

21. Any gold armor you buy unidentified will warrant a major ranger rune,
rather than something good.

If you're a monk and don't bring res/restore life/rebirth with you, nobody else will either.

When people get weak and decide to run away, they always run away from their monk.

If you're desperate for healing monk, you will always get a smiter.

In team arenas your allies will always die just after the two minute mark, and enemies just before.

If there are two monks on your team and two people injured, both monks will always heal the same guy. If there's only one person injured, both will be out of energy.

Rico

Lighten up. I doubt anyone here takes the theory seriously.

i want to change that a bit from my experience:

- if you play monk in random arena you`ll have a great chance that there`ll be 2-3 other monks in your team
- if you`re using amity in random arena on enemy warriors your group will attack that warriors instantly after you casted it
- if you play mesmer in random arena you get no monk in your group and have an increased chance of ending in a team with 3 warriors making you 1st target for the enemy
- if you chose to be anti-caster/monk mesmer in random arena the enemy group will consist of rangers and warriors

Ieee you shouldn't have it anyway! X_X

In Comp Arenas, if the enemy team has a 55 monk, your team will not have interrupts or enchantment removal.

If your team has inspired hex, the enemy team will have absolutely no hexes to inspire.

If your team has drain enchantment, the enemy team will have absolutely no enchantments to drain.

in a FoC build, your enemie will remove parasitic bond, making you accidently arcane echo it, instead of FoC

I'm seriously wondering if there's an actual bug there. The ratio of major ranger runes I've gotten from gold armor as opposed to other runes is something like 5 to 1.

In PvE lobbies; If there's more than one monk that isn't already in a party in the lobby, and the leader wants a monk, all but one of them will be AFK, and he will reject any invites.

EDIT: Oh yes, of course; this only happens if you're not a monk. If you are, then half the players in the lobby are also monks, running around shouting LFG LFG.

Straight to the heart :P

I'll second that. Happened so many times I can't believe it.

Not really, in fact it's been improved that they are capped at being Major at worst. Gold Armors used to provide such Minor Runes or even worse nothing at all. :P

I'll add a law:

Just after your team balls up vs. IWAY and is completely dominating them for a while, some Rambo ally of yours will go run out of the ball followed by everyone else following suit, resulting in a rank 0 IWAY group turning the tables and beating the crap out of your group of much more skilled players (excluding the lapses of judgement that this law causes them to have).

When soloing the UW, Ataxes will interrupt your Prot Spirit only when the last one is about to finish.

When doing 3 men UW run, Ataxes will ALWAYS target the nuker far behind you, EVEN IF they're not in his aggro circle (it happened, and I couldn't believe it).

While defending the forgemaster in the FoW, all the 3 monks will stick to him and furiosly wand everything that moves, thus killing him with Spiteful Spirit. When all the team dies, they will say it's a bug.

After last night, i have to add these:

1) when in Fissure of Woe, when you do the quest to save the forgemaster, someone wont be paying attention and blocking mobs so that the monk gets killed and no one brings res and resulting in forgemaster dying.

2) youre excited to get there and craft your armor, only to realize that you forgot to doublecheck that you had the right materials

3) you get to the forgemaster, get everything you need, ready to hit craft and get a err=7

More UW Murphy's.

1. Ataxes will interrupt your SoW, Aura, and Shield no matter what.
Your buffs will be recast without a hitch.

2. Grasping Darknesses can read your mind via the computer, and
will use Skull Crack EXACTLY as you cast Prot Spirit.

3. Half the Smites and Coldfires will have killed each other long
before you get there. PS: The Coldies got all your ecto.

4. Dying Nightmares will get Rend off right as you kill them, just as
one last annoyance.

5. Phantom Chest armors will warrant only major runes at best.

6. All the Ataxes will Savage Slash at the same time if they have it
ready. If it doesn't kill you, it will get close. Griffons do the same thing
with Final Thrust in the desert.

7. Players online will constantly want to buy ecto and shards, but wonder
why people always charge so much and whine to Anet that farmers should
be nerfed again thinking it will lower the prices.

8. People who read this will focus on #7 only, as it pertains to farming,
and will blatantly ignore the rest.

you finally find a person who might buy your golden, perfect, GODLY water wand, and you ask for a small 4k.
he sais: "LOL, you moron! the item sais its worth 387 gold, ill give you 400, because im nice".

seriously, this happened to me...

Nowhere near as bad as the guy who was offering 400 gp per ecto
in ToA the other day.

'PAYING 4 TIMES THE MERCHANT PRICE!!!!'

Ugh. I tried telling him they're worth more and the Rare Materials Trader
buys them for much higher the reply that came back was:

'OMG STFU THEY HAVEN'T PUT THE RARE TRADER IN GAME YET!!!'

.....maybe this is why I hate people.