Recently one of my member's attitudes has changed dramatically. He signed on today, and for the strangest reason just started saying how useless he was to the guild. He then continued on, saying his life was a living hell because he was poor, he hates the way his armor looks, hates his weapon, and basically felt like everyone else in the guild was giving him a tough time.
I tried approaching it in two ways. First I tried to just talk to him and tell him to check our site and fansites for builds to farm, as did the other members who were on at the time. His reply was basically the same thing as he said before and it was as if he wasn't even listening. At which point, I tried a more direct, and aggressive attitude to try to lift his spirits. He logged off after saying wtf.
So basically I don't know what to do. In the past he never had problems with me lending him gold, or splitting what we find when we would farm. He would always listen to the advice I gave him, but now... I'm at a loss for words. He won't ask for help, nor will he accept any we offer.
My fellow leaders, any thoughts? Have you ever encountered a similar situation?
Aiding Depressed Members: Need some help
Racthoh
Finch
I would say just leave him alone until he feels better. It might just be a week until he feels better.
striderkaaru
i agree with finch.
when i first read your thread title, i thought your guildmate was depressed in real life and that you noticed it while playing online. the way you described it, he's just depressed about his online situation. just give him time. he's probably sorting through other issues and is projecting it in gw.
the best thing you could probably do is remind him that it's just a game. there's no reason to be so upset about having little gold, ugly armor, or a crappy weapon.
the only real issue might be his complaints about how the rest of the guild has been treating him. from what you have observed, do you think it's true? that may be the only thing that needs to be addressed, but it needs to be done with the other members. a person shouldn't feel unwelcome in his own guild.
when i first read your thread title, i thought your guildmate was depressed in real life and that you noticed it while playing online. the way you described it, he's just depressed about his online situation. just give him time. he's probably sorting through other issues and is projecting it in gw.
the best thing you could probably do is remind him that it's just a game. there's no reason to be so upset about having little gold, ugly armor, or a crappy weapon.
the only real issue might be his complaints about how the rest of the guild has been treating him. from what you have observed, do you think it's true? that may be the only thing that needs to be addressed, but it needs to be done with the other members. a person shouldn't feel unwelcome in his own guild.
Lelenia
I would agree that likely he just needs some space. However, as striderkaaru mentioned, if he truly does feel that he's not welcome in the guild it may warrant an offline (i.e. in whispers or email) conversation about his feeling and if he has any specific examples of what's making him feel that way. Then you would want to handle it however your guild has in the past or by what you have set up for a grievance policy..either officer intervention or by encouraging him to speak to the other member<s> who are causing him pain.
On a side note, it is a game. And don't let yourself get sucked into the role of needing to make sure he is happy in the game or in real life. That's not your role as a guild leader and could surely make you miserable. You should as a leader facilitate an environment that fosters a positive guild experience, but you can't be responsible for each individual beyond that. Remind yourself too that it's a game and have fun. When you see him online, try not to feed into his depressed attitude by using redirection and inviting him along on groups steering the conversation to having fun.
Good luck.
On a side note, it is a game. And don't let yourself get sucked into the role of needing to make sure he is happy in the game or in real life. That's not your role as a guild leader and could surely make you miserable. You should as a leader facilitate an environment that fosters a positive guild experience, but you can't be responsible for each individual beyond that. Remind yourself too that it's a game and have fun. When you see him online, try not to feed into his depressed attitude by using redirection and inviting him along on groups steering the conversation to having fun.
Good luck.
EternalTempest
It sounds to me that there is something going on with him in RL and it's affecting him in game. I agree with everyone except ProjectForNewAmericanCent. He will either turn around or quite GW but I strongly get the feeling it's something with RL.
Don't kick him, give him some space, don't try to push the issue but be receptive if he starts getting chatty.
Don't kick him, give him some space, don't try to push the issue but be receptive if he starts getting chatty.
Loviatar
the people who say this is just a little passing phaze are pardon the rudeness *have your heads so far up you need oxygen piped in through your navel*
the original OP is right to be concerned
again apologies for the rudeness but .............
EDIT
send him a PM stating that anytime he wants to talk you will answer as best you can and as honestly as you can.
then follow through if he does
also Lelenia advice has merit on getting involved over your head as well
it is your call so look before you leap and thank you for at least being concerned
smurfhunter
if i ever see that in someone i point and laugh, sorry.
Sofonisba
I have dealt with depressed people IRL enough to know that, unless you are a professional, there is not a whole lot you can say or do to make things better or worse.
This situation is difficult to read. Ask around whether anyone else has noticed a change in the guy's behavior. If he really is depressed, there will be a pattern emerging from all accounts. If however no one noticed anything at all, it may be that there's nothing wrong, or that people don't like him, ignore him or treat him badly.
If you can pinpoint a specific grievance or personality that is upsetting him, that's probably a good thing.
If it's a vague list of "everything about my real life and gw is just awful and nothing will ever get better," you may need to encourage some professional help. The fact that a game is the mechanism through which he expresses his pain, does not make it less real. Depressed people don't leave it at the door, they'll go ahead and bring it on in and sit it down beside them at the computer.
It is really hard, because we all play the game to have fun, de-stress and fantasize. Being leader of a guild, woohoo!
Then... suddenly you have a LOT of people's feelings and expectations and actions depending on you. (I tell you, I never signed up for this!)
Unfortunately, in your (our) position, we simply cannot do a lot. Most times we have no guaranteed way of figuring out who people are IRL, or how to contact them or a family member if necessary. There is only so much that you can do, and you do all you can, and forgive yourself for not doing more.
This situation is difficult to read. Ask around whether anyone else has noticed a change in the guy's behavior. If he really is depressed, there will be a pattern emerging from all accounts. If however no one noticed anything at all, it may be that there's nothing wrong, or that people don't like him, ignore him or treat him badly.
If you can pinpoint a specific grievance or personality that is upsetting him, that's probably a good thing.
If it's a vague list of "everything about my real life and gw is just awful and nothing will ever get better," you may need to encourage some professional help. The fact that a game is the mechanism through which he expresses his pain, does not make it less real. Depressed people don't leave it at the door, they'll go ahead and bring it on in and sit it down beside them at the computer.
It is really hard, because we all play the game to have fun, de-stress and fantasize. Being leader of a guild, woohoo!
Then... suddenly you have a LOT of people's feelings and expectations and actions depending on you. (I tell you, I never signed up for this!)
Unfortunately, in your (our) position, we simply cannot do a lot. Most times we have no guaranteed way of figuring out who people are IRL, or how to contact them or a family member if necessary. There is only so much that you can do, and you do all you can, and forgive yourself for not doing more.
Josh
Heh.
I feel like my armour is crap and I'm poor (i am), but I'm not gonna go cry or have a sulk over it, I just find the game boring at the moment now because I've done all the missions and GW say this isn't a grinding game, believe me it is, I have to go through SF or whatever constantly to get XP or green drops (i never do, and yes I do zone out to other places for a few hours so my drops aren't 'nerfed')...Can't find anything interesting at the moment...hmm...need to make a build or try a new one out...
Ciao.
I feel like my armour is crap and I'm poor (i am), but I'm not gonna go cry or have a sulk over it, I just find the game boring at the moment now because I've done all the missions and GW say this isn't a grinding game, believe me it is, I have to go through SF or whatever constantly to get XP or green drops (i never do, and yes I do zone out to other places for a few hours so my drops aren't 'nerfed')...Can't find anything interesting at the moment...hmm...need to make a build or try a new one out...
Ciao.
Sofonisba
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Josh
Heh.
I feel like my armour is crap and I'm poor (i am), but I'm not gonna go cry or have a sulk over it, I just find the game boring at the moment now because I've done all the missions and GW say this isn't a grinding game, believe me it is, I have to go through SF or whatever constantly to get XP or green drops (i never do, and yes I do zone out to other places for a few hours so my drops aren't 'nerfed')...Can't find anything interesting at the moment...hmm...need to make a build or try a new one out... Ciao. |
Here is a leader who really cares about a member, but he's at the end of his rope. YOU should be so lucky as to have someone care.
A truly depressed person doesn't decide whether or not to have a sulk. It is what it is. Being depressed, if this person is, will not be affected by getting a lot of gold or a good drop. That would be whiny and spoiled, not depressed.
Josh
What do you mean by,
"I'm sure you have helped the OP tremendously with your sage advice."
...?
+ Who's OP?
+ Is that sarcasm?
"I'm sure you have helped the OP tremendously with your sage advice."
...?
+ Who's OP?
+ Is that sarcasm?
Hoyt
Quote:
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Originally Posted by EternalTempest
It sounds to me that there is something going on with him in RL and it's affecting him in game. I agree with everyone except ProjectForNewAmericanCent. He will either turn around or quite GW but I strongly get the feeling it's something with RL.
Don't kick him, give him some space, don't try to push the issue but be receptive if he starts getting chatty. |
It isn't the game...it is life.
Your guildmate is probably just displacing frustration from real life and using the game as a outlet. He probably isn't even aware of the parallel.
Chances are that the fellow uses the game as a means of escape and as something that he feels he has control over versus lack of control in real life.
Something has thrown that out of whack and he doesn't have the control over it.
There really isn't anything you can do except be what you are, a guild mate and hopefully friend.
Chances are it will pass, but if he does something rash like drop from the guild, be prepared to invite him back without making a deal about it.
It is just a game, but a lot of people find sactuary in the world of pixels and data.
(Hmmm, am I displacing my own experience?)
*passes the babble stick to the next poster*
striderkaaru
@loviatar
you need to chill out, dude. it's one thing to be concerned about a noticed change in behavior and another to get so worked up about a single episode. sometimes, people have bad days. these things do pass, and the best thing to do is just to give them space. as sofonisba said, there isn't really much you can do as much as you may want to play hero. unless this kind of behavior continues, there is no reason to get ultra worked up about it.
you can't jump to conclusions when it was based on only one exchange.
honestly, the best course of action would be to just watch his behavior over the course of a few days. maybe it will pass, maybe it won't. just be mindful.
if it does continue, it could be one of two things:
1 - he really is sad about his ingame situation. in this case, there is absolutely nothing you can do other than remind him it is just a game. if he can't realize that and just play to have fun, that's his issue and there's nothing you can do short of giving him everything he wants.
2 - he really may be depressed in real life and is just projecting it ingame. if this is the case, the best thing racthoh can say will be: "hey, i've noticed a big change in your behavior lately. is anything bothering you? do you want to talk about it?"
get behind the scenes. trying to help him solve his ingame issues will just be glancing the surface. it may not be your business to get into personal matters, but it never hurts to ask. but as lelenia said, don't get too involved, but there's a chance he may just need someone to talk to.
however, i stand by my first post that there is little reason to get overly concerned after only one day. watch him and the rest of the guild closely. just be attentive.
and definitely watch the behavior of guild members regarding him to see if his concerns about his treatment are warranted. you can also ask if there was any event in particular that caused this.
you need to chill out, dude. it's one thing to be concerned about a noticed change in behavior and another to get so worked up about a single episode. sometimes, people have bad days. these things do pass, and the best thing to do is just to give them space. as sofonisba said, there isn't really much you can do as much as you may want to play hero. unless this kind of behavior continues, there is no reason to get ultra worked up about it.
you can't jump to conclusions when it was based on only one exchange.
honestly, the best course of action would be to just watch his behavior over the course of a few days. maybe it will pass, maybe it won't. just be mindful.
if it does continue, it could be one of two things:
1 - he really is sad about his ingame situation. in this case, there is absolutely nothing you can do other than remind him it is just a game. if he can't realize that and just play to have fun, that's his issue and there's nothing you can do short of giving him everything he wants.
2 - he really may be depressed in real life and is just projecting it ingame. if this is the case, the best thing racthoh can say will be: "hey, i've noticed a big change in your behavior lately. is anything bothering you? do you want to talk about it?"
get behind the scenes. trying to help him solve his ingame issues will just be glancing the surface. it may not be your business to get into personal matters, but it never hurts to ask. but as lelenia said, don't get too involved, but there's a chance he may just need someone to talk to.
however, i stand by my first post that there is little reason to get overly concerned after only one day. watch him and the rest of the guild closely. just be attentive.
and definitely watch the behavior of guild members regarding him to see if his concerns about his treatment are warranted. you can also ask if there was any event in particular that caused this.
Sofonisba
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Josh
What do you mean by,
"I'm sure you have helped the OP tremendously with your sage advice." ...? + Who's OP? + Is that sarcasm? |
Yes, I was being sarcastic.
I apologize, I normally refrain from flaming.
But I am particularly sensitive to the helplessness one feels when dealing with TRUE depression, which, based on the information given, it is possible his guildie has. The OP is concerned enough to post on a forum, seriously asking for help.
You obviously have never encountered a real depressed person, but chances are you will when you get a little older. It's not easy, and it's not trivial.
Billiard
I think this is a useful topic to discuss - please keep posts on topic here.
Thanks!
That said, I think a lot of new people hit the wall where they are not knowledgeable enough to get everything they want (in terms of items, money, armour). We all were that way at some point. Maybe giving the person some very specific build and farming information that they can work on and perfect would help. If they have some small successes and see the light at the end of the tunnel I would imagine they will end up pulling out of their funk.
A lot of times people will make pleas like that in order to get attention and/or help. I would stay away from direct handouts and stick with giving them means to improves themselves.
Thanks!
That said, I think a lot of new people hit the wall where they are not knowledgeable enough to get everything they want (in terms of items, money, armour). We all were that way at some point. Maybe giving the person some very specific build and farming information that they can work on and perfect would help. If they have some small successes and see the light at the end of the tunnel I would imagine they will end up pulling out of their funk.
A lot of times people will make pleas like that in order to get attention and/or help. I would stay away from direct handouts and stick with giving them means to improves themselves.
PrincessKyra
I strongly agree with Billiard's advice.
I remember a time when I was so frustrated because I couldn't farm efficiently enough for a steady income. To make things worse, I had so-called friends who would constantly brag about how many armor sets or gold weapons they had. They were nice enough to give me unwanted weapons/runes/craft items. They were nice enough to point me to farming locations where I would die in 2 seconds. However, nobody was willing to teach me the farming skills to truly farm on my own. I played for several weeks with this great frustration. When I finally found a friend who introduced me to balthazar's spirit and zealot's fire, I was able kill monsters in a timely manor without dying. Since then, I found ways to get everything I wanted in the game, and I could plan how long it would take me. Being able to plan and work towards my goals really made me enjoy the game 100% more.
Racthoh, have you verified that this person truly knows how to farm after reading the websites that you gave him? I suspect he doesn't really know how to farm efficiently, and he just needs some 1 on 1 guidance on how to use the skills/attributes/armor/weapons to farm efficiently. Perhaps you could witness how he solos griffins outside augury. Augury griffins are probably the most popular way of earning steady income. If he can do this with ease, then I think he has a different problem.
I remember a time when I was so frustrated because I couldn't farm efficiently enough for a steady income. To make things worse, I had so-called friends who would constantly brag about how many armor sets or gold weapons they had. They were nice enough to give me unwanted weapons/runes/craft items. They were nice enough to point me to farming locations where I would die in 2 seconds. However, nobody was willing to teach me the farming skills to truly farm on my own. I played for several weeks with this great frustration. When I finally found a friend who introduced me to balthazar's spirit and zealot's fire, I was able kill monsters in a timely manor without dying. Since then, I found ways to get everything I wanted in the game, and I could plan how long it would take me. Being able to plan and work towards my goals really made me enjoy the game 100% more.
Racthoh, have you verified that this person truly knows how to farm after reading the websites that you gave him? I suspect he doesn't really know how to farm efficiently, and he just needs some 1 on 1 guidance on how to use the skills/attributes/armor/weapons to farm efficiently. Perhaps you could witness how he solos griffins outside augury. Augury griffins are probably the most popular way of earning steady income. If he can do this with ease, then I think he has a different problem.
nimloth32
i agreed. However, depends on how you describe him, i think he has different problem not with online environment..since he got such a good guild
fubar121
Ok for all the F*CK wads who say boohoo and "I'd point and laugh" Lets think about this for a minute. If this person is really having a hard time mabye they are asking for help. Did you ever hear of peers? So mabye he is diplacing the actual depresion in game. What if this person is thinkin about hurting themselfs or worse. God forbid it. When people speak out its ussally a call for help. I would recomend being very suddle in this matter. keep talking to this person and try to let them know the things have a way of getting better in time. However I could be wrong just me 2 cents worth.
Xue Yi Liang
If this is a temporary thing it's understandable - we've all been there before. But if this is just his personality then you've got a problem because you're stuck with him in the guild. It may sound insensitive but there are some people who are determined to convince everyone that life is unfair to them - even if it's just in a silly game.
The operative word is histrionics (look it up if you don't know it). In fact, most of their friends will feel more empathetic emotional burden than even themselves. Those people tend to suck up your time and energy. And there's nothing you can do to change them short of getting involved with their lives (Which I don't reccommend).
That's why we screen our guildies - mainly for personality and sense of humor. This is an online game and we just want to have a good time.
The operative word is histrionics (look it up if you don't know it). In fact, most of their friends will feel more empathetic emotional burden than even themselves. Those people tend to suck up your time and energy. And there's nothing you can do to change them short of getting involved with their lives (Which I don't reccommend).
That's why we screen our guildies - mainly for personality and sense of humor. This is an online game and we just want to have a good time.
Amused Observer
The best thing to do at this moment is. . . nothing. Observe the guilddie's contact and see if it deteriorates. If there comes a point where his conduct becomes a problem for the guild itself, you would need to step in firmly and cut the string.
Loviatar
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Xue Yi Liang
If this is a temporary thing it's understandable - we've all been there before. But if this is just his personality then you've got a problem because you're stuck with him in the guild. .
|
am i confusing you with someone else who claimed to be a medical professional?if so i apologize.
if you are a doctor i would not want a doctor who is still in the dark ages stating someone who may be seriously (clinically) depressed has a personality problem rather than a problem which might respond to medical treatment
again if i have you confused with someone else i apologize
Lysander Freeman
I had an experience similar but different than this. The member had an anger issue as well as a bit of depression. To make a long story short, I relied on positive reinforcement of guild values - basically being a decent person, no swearing, flaming, etc. etc. - and all was fine until one day he went off on another member. After giving him a severe warning I kicked him. He was immediately sorry, but I didn't reinvite him. I asked another member who he talked to a lot on MSN to keep a check on him to see how he was doing.
After a short bit I did reinvite him because I believe in second chances is the person is a good person, which this guy was - real likable and decent but came with some problems. A while later we had GvG/PvP differences and the end result was that he left the Guild voluntarily, actually surprising me.
And I never invited him back in. Second chances, yes, third chances don't exist. He and I still talk from time to time on MSN and everything's fine, he just isn't in the Guild anymore.
In my own situation, it seemed like he respected me and may have learned something because I did work with him and when he was removed from the Guild he understood that it was for both his and the Guild's benefit.
The moral of the story is that if you've done everything you can but it isn't working out, removing the person from the Guild may be your best option. You still have all of the other members that need a strong Guild Leader to take care of. Keep tabs on the person and all but there comes a time when maybe the current situation isn't helping but may be prolonging a situation.
After a short bit I did reinvite him because I believe in second chances is the person is a good person, which this guy was - real likable and decent but came with some problems. A while later we had GvG/PvP differences and the end result was that he left the Guild voluntarily, actually surprising me.
And I never invited him back in. Second chances, yes, third chances don't exist. He and I still talk from time to time on MSN and everything's fine, he just isn't in the Guild anymore.
In my own situation, it seemed like he respected me and may have learned something because I did work with him and when he was removed from the Guild he understood that it was for both his and the Guild's benefit.
The moral of the story is that if you've done everything you can but it isn't working out, removing the person from the Guild may be your best option. You still have all of the other members that need a strong Guild Leader to take care of. Keep tabs on the person and all but there comes a time when maybe the current situation isn't helping but may be prolonging a situation.
Guardian of the Light
Ok its a good thing I learned depression in school (finally I found a use for it).
I think you should just wait and watch and see if this is a one time thing or not. Look out for warning signs thou if you see a lot try to contract someone knows in REAL life. But tell them if you can that you are CONCERNED don't make them panic. I have learned that Depression can lead to Suicide but don't Panic right away.
However your friend might be just getting bored of Guild Wars and just mybe wants to try out a new game soon.
Some Warning Signs of Depression leading to Suicide are:
1. Big Changes in behavior
2. Reckless Behavior
3. Giving Away of Prized Belongings
4. Over-Sleepage
5. Talk of Suicide
However I'm not trying to play Mr. Psycolist Here I copied these facts from a 30min video I saw in school.
However if he Says stuff like "Guild Wars is Boring" you can relax because I think that means he's just bored of Guild Wars and probably just needs to learn a way to get Ca$h or needs to try out new guild
Ok yes I'm done.
I think you should just wait and watch and see if this is a one time thing or not. Look out for warning signs thou if you see a lot try to contract someone knows in REAL life. But tell them if you can that you are CONCERNED don't make them panic. I have learned that Depression can lead to Suicide but don't Panic right away.
However your friend might be just getting bored of Guild Wars and just mybe wants to try out a new game soon.
Some Warning Signs of Depression leading to Suicide are:
1. Big Changes in behavior
2. Reckless Behavior
3. Giving Away of Prized Belongings
4. Over-Sleepage
5. Talk of Suicide
However I'm not trying to play Mr. Psycolist Here I copied these facts from a 30min video I saw in school.
However if he Says stuff like "Guild Wars is Boring" you can relax because I think that means he's just bored of Guild Wars and probably just needs to learn a way to get Ca$h or needs to try out new guild
Ok yes I'm done.
jules
The 'depression' label is quite often misused. There is a huge difference between saying 'I am depressed' and being actually clinically depressed. Clinical depression is defined as a 'sustained lowering of mood' and in real life there's a whole list of things that support this diagnosis. (sorry for being pedantic but I couldn't resist)
You can look at this problem in two ways. Either he's just sick of the game and in that case I wouldn't worry, or he's having problems in real life; in which case you can't really do that much apart from being friendly to him and providing some sort of social support that way. It may be worth asking him about what is bugging him especially if he continues to act like this for a longer period of time. Of course this depends on how well you know him.
It's nice to read about someone who cares.
You can look at this problem in two ways. Either he's just sick of the game and in that case I wouldn't worry, or he's having problems in real life; in which case you can't really do that much apart from being friendly to him and providing some sort of social support that way. It may be worth asking him about what is bugging him especially if he continues to act like this for a longer period of time. Of course this depends on how well you know him.
It's nice to read about someone who cares.
Sofonisba
Quote:
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Originally Posted by jules
It's nice to read about someone who cares.
|
Alone)
Yay! Finally a discussion that I find to my liking!
As many others who have stated, it seems to be more of a possibility of a real life situation. The only people who can really tell are the people who are in physical contact with him. I have to disagree about leaving him alone though. Those who can not find help out in the real world, come into games, online people and what not. So I say still be open and there for him. One can never know about his situation. So it'd be best trying to be there.
If he keeps refusing help, don't bring it up. Have you tried holding a conversation on something light? Maybe like a movie...every day situations, etc. Just don't try forcing things on your friend. I'm sure you probably won't, but just saying it as a precaution. But stick with him, try and stay being a friend, and see what happens after a few more days.
However, there is another side to it, but I'm not saying your friend is this way. He could be a person who craves more attention, and makes up lies about it get things his way. But I find that mostly derives from past experiences that cause one person to be that way. So either way, you're talking to someone who probably hasn't had some good situations in life right now.
Either way, try to keep his spirits up. Even though some may take it as something not so serious, or may even laugh at it, depression isn't so funny. There ARE people who have done some things of the like in games, and those who haven't been reached to ended up in situations that are worse than a depressive state. Like a friend of mine.
Good luck to yah. And hope your friend feels better.
As many others who have stated, it seems to be more of a possibility of a real life situation. The only people who can really tell are the people who are in physical contact with him. I have to disagree about leaving him alone though. Those who can not find help out in the real world, come into games, online people and what not. So I say still be open and there for him. One can never know about his situation. So it'd be best trying to be there.
If he keeps refusing help, don't bring it up. Have you tried holding a conversation on something light? Maybe like a movie...every day situations, etc. Just don't try forcing things on your friend. I'm sure you probably won't, but just saying it as a precaution. But stick with him, try and stay being a friend, and see what happens after a few more days.
However, there is another side to it, but I'm not saying your friend is this way. He could be a person who craves more attention, and makes up lies about it get things his way. But I find that mostly derives from past experiences that cause one person to be that way. So either way, you're talking to someone who probably hasn't had some good situations in life right now.
Either way, try to keep his spirits up. Even though some may take it as something not so serious, or may even laugh at it, depression isn't so funny. There ARE people who have done some things of the like in games, and those who haven't been reached to ended up in situations that are worse than a depressive state. Like a friend of mine.
Good luck to yah.
And hope your friend feels better.
The Son Of Morgoth
Its probably sometime that is happening in real life.......ask him about that.....try to help him solve his real life problems.........try to do fun non strenous activites with him..... i kno sometimes my guildmates get together in our dead guild hall and we play tag or games like that for prizes and stuf and that always cheers everyone up
B3H
Tell em to join
Cheer Up Emo Kid [EMO]
Cheer Up Emo Kid [EMO]
Racthoh
Firstly, thanks to everyone that responded. I feel pretty awful that I completely forgot I made this thread and just happened that the replies have escalated into two pages. 
Unfortunately, the member in question was somewhat right, as some of the other members find this player to be a tad annoying. He has this tendency to refer to me as "Leader" rather than simply calling me by name. I think he is rather young, in his early teens thus explaining this nifty triat. As such I've noticed that the players who are a tad annoyed by it joke about it a lot. However, in his eyes I don't quite think he gets the fact that we're being sarcastic. Although, he isn't the only person to do it in the guild but I simply believe it's because he playing skills are rather lacking at the moment. But again, we have a few members in that boat but they don't seem to bother the others.
As far as kicking him, hell no. Sorry your problems are bringing the rest of us down and you're emotional state is really a burden on the guild. When your child cries, do you simply drop it off at the adoption agency and let someone else deal with their grief?
Thankfully, for me anyway, their attitude has improved and they're appearing online more often. He hasn't acted the same way in a while, so I'm under the assumption it was just some sort of phase.
Unfortunately, the member in question was somewhat right, as some of the other members find this player to be a tad annoying. He has this tendency to refer to me as "Leader" rather than simply calling me by name. I think he is rather young, in his early teens thus explaining this nifty triat. As such I've noticed that the players who are a tad annoyed by it joke about it a lot. However, in his eyes I don't quite think he gets the fact that we're being sarcastic. Although, he isn't the only person to do it in the guild but I simply believe it's because he playing skills are rather lacking at the moment. But again, we have a few members in that boat but they don't seem to bother the others.
As far as kicking him, hell no. Sorry your problems are bringing the rest of us down and you're emotional state is really a burden on the guild. When your child cries, do you simply drop it off at the adoption agency and let someone else deal with their grief?
Thankfully, for me anyway, their attitude has improved and they're appearing online more often. He hasn't acted the same way in a while, so I'm under the assumption it was just some sort of phase.
DarkSider84
It's the ups & downs to gaming at times. Some days you're going to feel really good about what you're doing, others you find it useless and negative almost depressed. Just talk to him, try to get the the root of whats going on in his head, and then you can decide what needs to be done to help him.