Short Story Contest (Mortbane 1079AE Part 1)
Konig Des Todes
9,000 words is 5,000 words over the limit. O_o
Also, holy RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOing walls of text add in some spaces in there between the paragraphs or something!
Also, holy RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOing walls of text add in some spaces in there between the paragraphs or something!
Zodiac Meteor
Quote:
Originally Posted by Konig Des Todes
I'm really worried I won't be judged because it's to long. Come on, I took out all the subplots,
a main RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOing character for gods sake (Starr, which was suppose to travel with Grim and kill the SPOILER at the end). The final battle with the Ghostly Saltspray dragon didn't end how I wanted it (Suppose to be an EPIC AWESOMESAUSE kill by Cynn, Devona and Aiden) I also didn't explain Bonfaaz leave during the decisive battle. I did a horrible job explaining the double agent thing near the end. Mainly because a subplot was taken out that shows Anthony and Fends leave from Vabbi to Ring of Fire Islands, where they promised to find Grim and take him out. Mhenlo was involved in that subplot.
I did more time deleting than writing. If I took out more then the explanations and character development will be... unloved.
Morag D
AAAAAAHHHRGH I'm running out of TIME!!! *panic*
must-type-fasterrrr
must-type-fasterrrr
pumpkin pie
Don't panic Morag!
i think i have 46 words over hehehe.
the suspense is killing me
i think i have 46 words over hehehe.
the suspense is killing me
Konig Des Todes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zodiac Meteor
a main RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOing character for gods sake (Starr, which was suppose to travel with Grim and kill the SPOILER at the end). The final battle with the Ghostly Saltspray dragon didn't end how I wanted it (Suppose to be an EPIC AWESOMESAUSE kill by Cynn, Devona and Aiden) I also didn't explain Bonfaaz leave during the decisive battle. I did a horrible job explaining the double agent thing near the end. Mainly because a subplot was taken out that shows Anthony and Fends leave from Vabbi to Ring of Fire Islands, where they promised to find Grim and take him out. Mhenlo was involved in that subplot. The SPOILER was suppose to be taken out by Cynn and not Bonfaaz. I have a better after effect ending, but I had to summarize it to the most extreme. Removed a subplot that Bonfaaz will take Roan and train him the right way (WHICH RUINED THE RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOING ENDING, AHHHHH.) The Rain of Judgment was unexplained and overall dull. It was powerful and summoned a flying castle (WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN A RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOING FORTRESS! AHHH) Well, at least it was better than GW: Prophices decisive battle. Should have titled Reborn World. The relations between Roan and Grim was lame. Mainly because the subplot that involved Bonfaaz taking Roan was taken out. (Did i mentioned it ruined the ending overall?) I could have taken out the beginning paragraph overall. Those were really disappointing things I had to do (or could have done).
I did more time deleting than writing. If I took out more then the explanations and character development will be... unloved. Grammar also an issue, I was gonna read it but the grammar made my head split. No offense. x)
And I suggest you try making a short story, not a small novel next time. You don't want to be better than the game, just add in a quest-chain size adventure (think of The Oddbodies chain - that would be the size of a short story)
Morag D
Weheee managed to get mine in! *phew* fortunately it had been in my head for about three weeks now so it only had to be typed out
good luck to everyone, there's some really nice stories here! (didn't read them before because I didn't want to be influenced, lol)
good luck to everyone, there's some really nice stories here! (didn't read them before because I didn't want to be influenced, lol)
Zodiac Meteor
Quote:
Originally Posted by Konig Des Todes
Grammar also an issue, I was gonna read it but the grammar made my head split. No offense. x)
Yeah, the grammer was horrible and I should have waited and viewed it more. Oh well, that's what I get for a rushed entree.
I made it as short as possible, still having some meaningful events in there. If made it any shorter I will have to redo the entire plot , basically doing an entire story
I made it as short as possible, still having some meaningful events in there. If made it any shorter I will have to redo the entire plot , basically doing an entire story
SmartBomb
I emailed mine just a little while ago. This is an awesome contest!
StarrTheInsane
Thanks guys! I've updated the list of entries. After tomorrow, I'll post the others on the list and then add the last minute entries as I have a chance to read through them. Getting close now.
Zodiac, I got your email. Thank you for understanding. I thought it was a cool idea to have the soundtrack for your story (I read it again here with the music to see if things had a different feel to them).
Like I've said, I'm not getting really bent out of shape over the grammar and spelling. I asked that the story be written in English, and anticipated that there would be entries from people who know it as a second language. That keeps me from being unfair when they have great story ideas they are trying to express, but also means I can't come down on people who are clearly native speakers either.
Overall, I am enjoying the stories. My only complaint so far is with the mechanics of my own contest, which I can't change. It has been very educational for me. If I decide to have another writing contest in the future, I will definitely extend the limit. Unfortunately, that means I would also have to extend the length of time between the deadline and the results.
Zodiac, I got your email. Thank you for understanding. I thought it was a cool idea to have the soundtrack for your story (I read it again here with the music to see if things had a different feel to them).
Like I've said, I'm not getting really bent out of shape over the grammar and spelling. I asked that the story be written in English, and anticipated that there would be entries from people who know it as a second language. That keeps me from being unfair when they have great story ideas they are trying to express, but also means I can't come down on people who are clearly native speakers either.
Overall, I am enjoying the stories. My only complaint so far is with the mechanics of my own contest, which I can't change. It has been very educational for me. If I decide to have another writing contest in the future, I will definitely extend the limit. Unfortunately, that means I would also have to extend the length of time between the deadline and the results.
pumpkin pie
Thank you StarrTheInsane for the competition.
Well done to all the entrants. and good luck.
Well done to all the entrants. and good luck.
Konig Des Todes
Nearly done! Finishing up the last bit. ^_^ It's currently at about 2,500 and I expect about 3,000. words of course.
Edit: Yay! Finished! At 2:25 AM with 3,624 words. ^_^
Gonna have someone proof read it then send it in the morning.
Edit: Yay! Finished! At 2:25 AM with 3,624 words. ^_^
Gonna have someone proof read it then send it in the morning.
pumpkin pie
Proof reading is a good idea! I was in a rush, and forgot a few sentences and spacing towards the end of my story.
khezial tahr
Sent mine as well in a PM! Several actually. Good luck to all!
FengShuiDove
Submitted, with *slightly* over 4,000 words. I wish I had some more space to write too, but I think I compressed it decently down to size.
StarrTheInsane
Alright, I updated the wordpress blog with the entries that I've read (mostly just adding the ones that were waiting until the deadline). Looks like I have 4 stories to read that came in today. FengShuiDove, khezial tahr, Konig Des Todes, and theflatline are all queued up for the morning and I'll be sending you notes as I finish them. Just to give you some feedback and let you know when they are added to the site.
Thanks again everyone and I can tell this is going to be intense. Results should be posted on Friday with the beginning of Part 2: The Sketch Contest!
EDIT: I've read through all the entries now and posted them to the site (links to individual entries are posted in the announcement on this thread). You guys really took me on an adventure! Sorry for the delay getting those posted today, our new modem just came in this morning (w00t).
Thanks again everyone and I can tell this is going to be intense. Results should be posted on Friday with the beginning of Part 2: The Sketch Contest!
EDIT: I've read through all the entries now and posted them to the site (links to individual entries are posted in the announcement on this thread). You guys really took me on an adventure! Sorry for the delay getting those posted today, our new modem just came in this morning (w00t).
DBZVelena
I re-read my story today XD
I so could have done a little better ^_^;;
But even if i don't win a thing, i had fun making it.
I so could have done a little better ^_^;;
But even if i don't win a thing, i had fun making it.
pumpkin pie
I made quite a few mistakes in joining the story together, spelled alone as along, have spacing problem towards the end of the story, got a bit excited and forgot to double spaced, also not have enough time to actually study the map carefully, to pin point where they should meet and because of the length of the story. but I had fun thinking up this story.
Konig Des Todes
Peer editing ftw :P
Edit: ACK! Is there no Italics in the wordpress website? No one could tell the difference from thoughts and explanations in my story! X_X
I don't like the format of the wordpress website... >_> No centering and no italics? No indents? Booooo!
Edit: ACK! Is there no Italics in the wordpress website? No one could tell the difference from thoughts and explanations in my story! X_X
I don't like the format of the wordpress website... >_> No centering and no italics? No indents? Booooo!
khezial tahr
Wow... looks like I tried too hard to stay close to the 2500 words. I so could have added more. And I even stripped some stuff off to stay close. With more space I think I could have gotten some things through clearer, but oh well. It was fun to write and I hope it's fun to read!
StarrTheInsane
Blast, this is tough! I have reasons I love each of them.
Another entry was just added to the list. Tzu made arrangements with me prior to the deadline explaining her situation, and though I'm not at liberty to say what the situation is, believe me when I say it counts as an extreme situation.
Another entry was just added to the list. Tzu made arrangements with me prior to the deadline explaining her situation, and though I'm not at liberty to say what the situation is, believe me when I say it counts as an extreme situation.
StarrTheInsane
And now the Short Story Contest Results! (Repost from the contest site)
First, let me say this was a really hard contest to judge. Every author brought something fantastic to the contest and I fought with myself at every decision until I committed myself to these results.
1st: "The Raven's Egg" by Aquabeard (100k, 10 vault points and advancement to Part 2)
I've had my eye on this one for a while. Hekets seemed to be terribly popular in this contest (see Reflection and Fish). Rib was quite comical, I really enjoyed her personality. The characters were well-developed and their interaction was very organic. One could tell these characters have a long familiar history just from this story and I'm not at all disappointed that the final fight wasn't an all-or-nothing situation. It's a story, we're not killing for XP. It's okay to live and let live, right?
To the other extreme, this story put me in an interesting situation reading the scenario for my quest. You paid very close attention to the bio, I can tell, because you forced the decision about the Dusk Raven. Knowing that Grim is a collector of birds and cares a great deal for them, you made his relationship with his charr son that much more solid by having Grim commit essentially genocide on a rare species of bird to save Roan. The concept for the toxin itself was very cool. Charr better be careful now. There's no dusk raven eggs left to save them.
I laughed, I cried, I really loved this story.
2nd: "Reflection" by Peter Gallant (75k, 10 vault points and advancement to Part 2)
Title with more than one meaning. The first paragraph of your story deserves to be quoted and the use of quotes at the end leave the reader with personal reflection. You grasped Grim's thought process very well and I was pleased that it took every direction that it did. A cautious approach, followed by a protector frenzy, abruptly shifting to shock and disgust that soon turns introspective. The fight was as graphic as it needed to be to get the point across that they were both guilty if either. It may have been the common "kidnapping Roan" theme that people were fond of telling (my poor baby, he's had a rough life), but it managed to create a very special, very real father-son connection. It made Roan even more real, because very much like a child, you can't dictate the kind of person he will grow up to be. In the same way, these stories allow the characters to become separate entities from myself and do things that I would not have had them do from my own imagination alone.
Well done!
3rd: "Epilogue" by Tzu (50k, 10 vault points and advancement to Part 2)
Sooo...I got chills. It was cool to see Grim living with his mom, as I find she is an aspect of his life that is all too often overlooked. It's always a pleasure seeing Nick the Traveler, but giving him a moment outside the cheerful "Saint Nick" demeanor to reflect on his past troubles made his short scene highly emotional. The journey into the Mists was quite an experience for Grim. The idea that every man, woman, child, charr...in Tyria could be completing their own rites to please the gods, I find appealing, and I hope it inspires more people to seek these moments for their own characters. WWBGMLD&KD? (What would Balthazar, Grenth, Melandru, Lyssa, Dwayna and Kormir do?) And as the gods are timeless and see all of us from seed to mists, you are correct that only Dwayna would continue to bless the decision to return for someone who values life as surely as she does.
Very nice!
4th: "Grim Fireside Story" by theflatline (25k and 10 vault points)
It was short, but very complete. Proof that you can fit a whole story into so few words. The character you introduced had attitude, and the fact it was told from first-person perspective was very intriguing to me. I enjoy the concept of music having destructive power and the use of ley lines for delivery. I think you did a fine job of explaining the problem while maintaining the atmosphere created during the dialog.
Good work!
5th: "Six Chimes of the Swan Song" by Crystal (10k and 10 vault points)
Felt like Indiana Jones coping with a frustratingly curious sidekick. Having scenes out of sequence leading to the middle of the timeline, revealing only at the end the purpose for the expedition, worked out very well for this story. It was a very kind sentiment to try to find Roan's mother, and it's about time we got to return to the catacombs.
Neat idea!
Honorable Mention (alphabetically by title) Each receive 10 vault points.
"Corruption" by Zarak the Fireraga: Mutation/evolution horror, large cast of familiar faces, the good guys aren't invincible. Very cool.
"Fish" by SmartBomb: Fish is PEOPLE! Evil heket (what's with the hekets?) Should be in Tales from the Darkside. Sorry, I found the fish amusing.
"Given Enough Time" by S.S. Kelowna: Memory loss, PTSD, heart-wrenching discovery. Quite emotional.
"The Late Tale of Grim" by Dove: Nick the Traveler, baby white moa and a dragon fight. Awesome.
"The Untolled Story" by Konig Des Todes: Dimension hopping and origins of the Forgotten. Again, about time.
It was really tough to decide. The stories were all really cool. I've enjoyed seeing so many people take an interest in Roan's personality as he grows up in human society, the problems a Charr faces and his rites of passage. Other awesome features of the stories included narratives of side quests and skills from the game. You guys took Grim all over the place. Teaming up with Charr to battle undead, seeking bloodstones, sacrificing himself for a twin soul, saving society from itself, meeting new people, meeting his son (?!?!), battling would-be immortals, and preparing the world for GW2. Romantic, friendly, and familial bonds were explored. You certainly can't say Grim didn't lead a full life.
Did you get vault points?
First through fifth will get to choose in order of placement. You don't have to pick your prizes up right away, but please let me know so I may update the list. Then I will let the honorable mentions know the vault is open and it is first-come, first-serve.
So I'm a Top 3, now what?
The top 3 stories now become the scenario for Part 2 of the contest. Are you an artist? Grab your pencil, pen, stylus, whatever you prefer. Illustrate a scene from one of the Top 3 stories (sketch only, you may color your drawing for Part 3 if it is among the top 3). There will be Top 3 for the Sketches, and for each of those 3 that uses your story, you gain an additional 10k. Plus, Top 3 stories are Mortbane cannon. That's right, folks, in the biography of Grim Mortbane, your story really happened!
Congrats to winners, honorable mentions and everyone who entered. These were all awesome and I've enjoyed all the adventures, and new friends Grim has found over the last month. Thank you all so much for your hard work!
First, let me say this was a really hard contest to judge. Every author brought something fantastic to the contest and I fought with myself at every decision until I committed myself to these results.
1st: "The Raven's Egg" by Aquabeard (100k, 10 vault points and advancement to Part 2)
I've had my eye on this one for a while. Hekets seemed to be terribly popular in this contest (see Reflection and Fish). Rib was quite comical, I really enjoyed her personality. The characters were well-developed and their interaction was very organic. One could tell these characters have a long familiar history just from this story and I'm not at all disappointed that the final fight wasn't an all-or-nothing situation. It's a story, we're not killing for XP. It's okay to live and let live, right?
To the other extreme, this story put me in an interesting situation reading the scenario for my quest. You paid very close attention to the bio, I can tell, because you forced the decision about the Dusk Raven. Knowing that Grim is a collector of birds and cares a great deal for them, you made his relationship with his charr son that much more solid by having Grim commit essentially genocide on a rare species of bird to save Roan. The concept for the toxin itself was very cool. Charr better be careful now. There's no dusk raven eggs left to save them.
I laughed, I cried, I really loved this story.
2nd: "Reflection" by Peter Gallant (75k, 10 vault points and advancement to Part 2)
Title with more than one meaning. The first paragraph of your story deserves to be quoted and the use of quotes at the end leave the reader with personal reflection. You grasped Grim's thought process very well and I was pleased that it took every direction that it did. A cautious approach, followed by a protector frenzy, abruptly shifting to shock and disgust that soon turns introspective. The fight was as graphic as it needed to be to get the point across that they were both guilty if either. It may have been the common "kidnapping Roan" theme that people were fond of telling (my poor baby, he's had a rough life), but it managed to create a very special, very real father-son connection. It made Roan even more real, because very much like a child, you can't dictate the kind of person he will grow up to be. In the same way, these stories allow the characters to become separate entities from myself and do things that I would not have had them do from my own imagination alone.
Well done!
3rd: "Epilogue" by Tzu (50k, 10 vault points and advancement to Part 2)
Sooo...I got chills. It was cool to see Grim living with his mom, as I find she is an aspect of his life that is all too often overlooked. It's always a pleasure seeing Nick the Traveler, but giving him a moment outside the cheerful "Saint Nick" demeanor to reflect on his past troubles made his short scene highly emotional. The journey into the Mists was quite an experience for Grim. The idea that every man, woman, child, charr...in Tyria could be completing their own rites to please the gods, I find appealing, and I hope it inspires more people to seek these moments for their own characters. WWBGMLD&KD? (What would Balthazar, Grenth, Melandru, Lyssa, Dwayna and Kormir do?) And as the gods are timeless and see all of us from seed to mists, you are correct that only Dwayna would continue to bless the decision to return for someone who values life as surely as she does.
Very nice!
4th: "Grim Fireside Story" by theflatline (25k and 10 vault points)
It was short, but very complete. Proof that you can fit a whole story into so few words. The character you introduced had attitude, and the fact it was told from first-person perspective was very intriguing to me. I enjoy the concept of music having destructive power and the use of ley lines for delivery. I think you did a fine job of explaining the problem while maintaining the atmosphere created during the dialog.
Good work!
5th: "Six Chimes of the Swan Song" by Crystal (10k and 10 vault points)
Felt like Indiana Jones coping with a frustratingly curious sidekick. Having scenes out of sequence leading to the middle of the timeline, revealing only at the end the purpose for the expedition, worked out very well for this story. It was a very kind sentiment to try to find Roan's mother, and it's about time we got to return to the catacombs.
Neat idea!
Honorable Mention (alphabetically by title) Each receive 10 vault points.
"Corruption" by Zarak the Fireraga: Mutation/evolution horror, large cast of familiar faces, the good guys aren't invincible. Very cool.
"Fish" by SmartBomb: Fish is PEOPLE! Evil heket (what's with the hekets?) Should be in Tales from the Darkside. Sorry, I found the fish amusing.
"Given Enough Time" by S.S. Kelowna: Memory loss, PTSD, heart-wrenching discovery. Quite emotional.
"The Late Tale of Grim" by Dove: Nick the Traveler, baby white moa and a dragon fight. Awesome.
"The Untolled Story" by Konig Des Todes: Dimension hopping and origins of the Forgotten. Again, about time.
It was really tough to decide. The stories were all really cool. I've enjoyed seeing so many people take an interest in Roan's personality as he grows up in human society, the problems a Charr faces and his rites of passage. Other awesome features of the stories included narratives of side quests and skills from the game. You guys took Grim all over the place. Teaming up with Charr to battle undead, seeking bloodstones, sacrificing himself for a twin soul, saving society from itself, meeting new people, meeting his son (?!?!), battling would-be immortals, and preparing the world for GW2. Romantic, friendly, and familial bonds were explored. You certainly can't say Grim didn't lead a full life.
Did you get vault points?
First through fifth will get to choose in order of placement. You don't have to pick your prizes up right away, but please let me know so I may update the list. Then I will let the honorable mentions know the vault is open and it is first-come, first-serve.
So I'm a Top 3, now what?
The top 3 stories now become the scenario for Part 2 of the contest. Are you an artist? Grab your pencil, pen, stylus, whatever you prefer. Illustrate a scene from one of the Top 3 stories (sketch only, you may color your drawing for Part 3 if it is among the top 3). There will be Top 3 for the Sketches, and for each of those 3 that uses your story, you gain an additional 10k. Plus, Top 3 stories are Mortbane cannon. That's right, folks, in the biography of Grim Mortbane, your story really happened!
Congrats to winners, honorable mentions and everyone who entered. These were all awesome and I've enjoyed all the adventures, and new friends Grim has found over the last month. Thank you all so much for your hard work!
FengShuiDove
Very cool, thanks for the Honorable Mention and congratulations to the winners! Now that the results are posted I can feel free to read all of the entries =P. Thanks again Starr for a great contest.
Tzu
Thanks so much for the win, I'm happy you think it was worth the delay!
I didn't think I had a chance considering the skill level of the other authors, I must say; I didn't know we had such pro authors on guru! If any of you have deviantart-accounts, blogsites or the likes through which you share your other writing projects (I'm sure you have some) please post a link! I would love to see more of what you guys write on your free time!
I didn't think I had a chance considering the skill level of the other authors, I must say; I didn't know we had such pro authors on guru! If any of you have deviantart-accounts, blogsites or the likes through which you share your other writing projects (I'm sure you have some) please post a link! I would love to see more of what you guys write on your free time!
StarrTheInsane
Hey everybody, just updating here, the Prize Vault is updated. Honorable Mentions please get in touch with me about what you would like.
Aquabeard has requested fireworks or tonics, but is away right now. I think there should be enough party stuff to go around.
Peter chose an Elite Dervish Tome and Mini Heket
Tzu has requested a set of creme brulee and a set of blue rock candies. (Those have already been taken off the list and reserved).
theflatline chose the Forgotten Fan and a pair of Disco Balls
Crystal chose 10 green rock candies and 5 red rock candies.
Honorable Mention is first-come, first-serve, so get those requests in. Zarak has already snagged 5 mysterious tonics and the mini burning titan. That means, I need requests from Konig, SmartBomb, Dove, and S.S. Kelowna.
Aquabeard has requested fireworks or tonics, but is away right now. I think there should be enough party stuff to go around.
Peter chose an Elite Dervish Tome and Mini Heket
Tzu has requested a set of creme brulee and a set of blue rock candies. (Those have already been taken off the list and reserved).
theflatline chose the Forgotten Fan and a pair of Disco Balls
Crystal chose 10 green rock candies and 5 red rock candies.
Honorable Mention is first-come, first-serve, so get those requests in. Zarak has already snagged 5 mysterious tonics and the mini burning titan. That means, I need requests from Konig, SmartBomb, Dove, and S.S. Kelowna.
Konig Des Todes
Where can I find the list of items to choose from? >_>
Edit: Nevermind, found it.
I'll take a set of honeycombs and the rest of the points on Mysterious Summoning Stones
Edit: Nevermind, found it.
I'll take a set of honeycombs and the rest of the points on Mysterious Summoning Stones
FengShuiDove
Quote:
Originally Posted by Konig Des Todes
Where can I find the list of items to choose from? >_>
Wondering the same ^_^
StarrTheInsane
Oops, sorry: http://mortbane1079ae.wordpress.com/special/
*makes notes*
Random Gaki spawn ftw!
*makes notes*
Random Gaki spawn ftw!
FengShuiDove
Oh, I suppose I'll have the set of Creme Brulees and a set of Jars of Honey, if said items are still available.
Thanks much! Contact name should be... pretty obvious . I'll be checking back in for the art as well... good luck to all entrants!
Thanks much! Contact name should be... pretty obvious . I'll be checking back in for the art as well... good luck to all entrants!
pumpkin pie
Well Done everyone! and congratulation.
to Aquabeard: i love your story. its as Starr says.
to Aquabeard: i love your story. its as Starr says.