A Plea For Common Courtesy

Hey folks,

<Vent>

I'm probably not your average Guild Wars player (I have a job, wife, kids, etc.) I've played MMOs exclusively for the last three years or so and I've to say that, sadly, players in this game seem to have little or no common courtesy/manners. I'm talking about a simple "hey there" when you join a group. Or perhaps a, "thanks for the run" to the leader if it was a good run? Or perhaps complimenting the healer for keeping everyone in the party healthy or even rezzing the reckless zerger that keeps getting killed all the time? Again, is it too much to ask for folks to have common courtesy? It's an MMO there are people behind those 'toons' you group with (except, of course, henchmen and heroes). It's not only good for your in-game experience but you'll also find out that being courteous in real life is a very good trait to have.

While I'm mindful that there are a lot of angst- and raged-filled teeny-boppers, the fact is that age and life stage alone is no excuse for being rude to your fellow players.

</vent>

Peace.

you should know that a game rated 12+ is not gonna be full of manners
you have to take the good with the bad some ppl will say thnx others wont thats life

No idea why, but after reading this I had a strong urge to post the link to South Park's Uncle RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOa.
I resisted the temptation.


(In case you are wondering, just felt like sharing.)

OK.. i believe the average age for a gamer.. is 17-35.. so you fall into the exactly average group of gamers

2 its a game people are on run, on the go, no time for courtesy (I exercise it constantly doesnt menaq its a priority).. Its all on the run.. Just like modern society....do you ever say Thank you to a Train operator....or to a guy for cleaning under your table?

Regarding runs.. you are saying thank you buy Paying for them.. thats alot of thank you i believe.... and if its free your just there for a ride like on a train or a bus... you might say thank yuo to the bus operator.. but you certainly dont have to......

So there.. i dont have children but that doesnt mean you gots to think less of me =)

Jk Jk

And Guru wont help you solve this probnlem?....and it will never be solved..why? because its not a problme at all =)

I agree with you completely. It is a nice thing to do. All the rage quitters, potty mouths, etc could learn a good lesson, but sadly they may never do that even when real life catches up with them. It will be their own doing...or maybe their undoing... *ponders* Only time will tell.

Not in Guild Wars.

I certainly do. It's called manners they are taught to children since they are 1 year old. Plus, "on the run" is an asinine excuse and you know it.


I never join paid runs. And yes if I get a free ride (or run) on bus, you bet your arse I'll be thanking the driver.

You seem to be in the minority who thinks that's excusable being rude. "On the run" is a lie. How many times don't you have to wait 5-10 minutes to fill a group? How many times don't you have to wait a few minutes after group is full waiting for people to set their skills? You know how much time it takes to type, "sup guys" ... a second or two? Is it that hard?


Peace.

I mean perhaps I'm the only person who had strong parental figures in the whole MMO universe? I can remember my parents, grand parent, uncles, great uncles all were very tough on all of us kids to be respectful and have good manners. I, too, once was a rebellious, angst-filled teenager, but that didn't absolve me from being respectful and courteous. Would've gotten my arse handed to me if I wasn't. Later in life I've found myself thanking my family for enforcing good manners upon me.

And yes, I agree with you, it might prove their own undoing later in their lives.

Peace.


Edit Button is there for a reason.

I wouldn't try to let it bother you too much. It's an Internet game, and kids feel they have a blanket of protection with the anonymous internet to hide behind. They figure what is that person gonna do if I don't say thank you? They live miles away!

Personally I still say Thanks and whatnot even when people just leave the group right before i hit enter or right after I do, It's the common courtesy that I have. Even though I usually also freely speak my mind on the internet which gains me hate and raging from other people (which I don't give a damn about because its hilarious) The said stuff about "speaking freely" are usually about those "respected Pro PvP players" or the veteran players who feel everyone should kiss their a*sses because no one will ever be as good as them. Rofl at them LOL!

Wow wow.. no need to get touchy.. i never said manners shouldnt be existent. and surely need to be exersised.. the examples i provided are just that examples nothing more nothing less...

Its not the same in a Gaming world as in Real life... I suggest you go on any console internet service and see how much maners are being displayed there.. Its not just guild wars.. its all games that require or have an online mode.

I dont use esxcuses.. i just stated a fact....give me a a plan that will make all online gamers exercise courtesy in a game were being brutal is a key to success..

And one rule.. you cannot limit the age for the games =).. i personaly dont have a slightest idea of how to achieve your oh so coveted goal..

Other way that i see that you 'can' is to blame the bad parents for their childs mis-behavior when it comes to courtesy.. and start writing up an essay saying how parents should teach their children...

Once again not a personal attak just stating the obvious there is no way to get rid of this unless you play a single player off-line game...

Even better lets lok at the gaming community AS a real life.. do you always get polite people....or those wiht manners....no.. not unless oyu live in a small town and you dont get out much only the.. But if you live in a huge metropolis there is no way you can keep on being curtoeus al the time and to every one...

Anyway dont take it personal.. what you are trying to achieve is perfection...perfection doesnt exist.

Look, that's life. Some people say thanks and are very nice, some people aren't. No offense, but, with all due respect- deal with it.

P.S. What's your wife wearing atm?

I'm not sure what the problem is. When I am in a group of people I don't know, I REULARLY see people say "hi", "thank you", "congrats", "good job", etc. Even when I pay someone to run something for me, I see people being polite. Certainly not everyone, and certainly not all the time, but more than I dont' see it. This is what a friends list and guild/alliance are for. If you want to play with people with similar interests/morals then join a guild that has those people, or put them in your friends list.

Henry Higgins: “[…] My manners are exactly the same as Colonel Pickering’s.”

Liza: “That’s not true. He treats a flower girl as if she was a duchess.”

Henry Higgins: “And I treat a duchess as if she was a flower girl.The question is not whether I treat you rudely, but whether you ever heard me treat
anyone else better."

Bernard Shaw, Pygmalion.....

iWin

I can't help it, I have issues I know but I read the OP and all I could see was this:

I know I'm disgraceful, because I'm the admin. I should be encouraging the OP's behavior and posts... but as a forum poster I can... not... help... myself.

If you got aq sense of humor why not let it out Inde =)

Keeping it inside is dangerous you can BLOW any moment your voice will get sore and fingers all crookedy and you will become ONE OF THEM-THe inpolite ONSE

Try playing on the European districts, I have had nothing but politeness from my European Cousins.

Sadly there have been a few of my fellow Brits who get angry at none English speakers in English districts, but these are not common.

I was just a about to say you will find the same thing here on Guru and of all people to prove my point. say it ain't so Inde.

I know Risky! Isn't that terrible? The problem is... as is the problem with the world over, you have people from all different backgrounds, age groups, occupations, lifestyles and cultures coming together. A few are bound to butt heads against each other. And this is a game, meant to be fun. What someone else defines as fun is not necessarily my version of fun.

For some that means scamming, for others it's using Guild Wars as a RPG, for others this is attacking everything in sight, for others it's a social chat room.

Not everyone will or can conform to someone else's idea of what makes this game fun for them. And yes, sometimes this comes at the expense of common courtesy.

And toord, you're wrong. The average age of the gamer for an MMO is 32. Married, with a job. You're just as average as the rest of us.

Pretty much the reason why I don't pug nor PvP. I don't care about people who are ungrateful, but the people who troll, flame and verbally abuse others (even a common word such as noob can be mean) really piss me off. So instead of having an annoying argument I simply play for myself.

I agreed with you to this point.

There are just as many rude old farts as there are "teeny-boppers."

PS. Never a good idea to insult your audience (as I assume you were aiming this vent at the "youngsters").

PPS
I'm 35, so you can count me in with the old farts.

At least when conversing wiht you i was not insulted,,,,So actually il put you and many other i know to a category of a True Gamer not an "Old Fart"

You are all just kids to this real old fart.

See, and that's okay Sword Hammer. Some people don't play this game to be social, ironically enough. They are playing to earn achievements, to level up, to farm and gather the best loot... some aren't going to use an MMO as an extension on real life and feel they have to network and try to be friends with everyone. While that's not exactly my cup-of-tea, I respect that some people only have so many hours/minutes in a day to play and if they don't want to spend that on the niceties, I'm not going to get worked up about it.

It's the age-old conundrum of "do I write a thank you letter to thank the person who wrote me a thank you letter".

Then again, maybe some are actually treating this like real life, I don't thank my mailman every time I see him for delivering my mail. I don't say "Hello" to everyone I pass on the streets. I don't tell the girl behind the counter what a "great cup of coffee" they made me every morning. It all becomes routine. Log into Guild Wars every day and it becomes routine to group, to heal, to sell, to trade, to run around... you just don't even think anymore about doing that if it happens every day.

Whenever I PuG with someone, I am always sure to greet them with a "Hello!" even if they don't initially say anything with me. When I leave them (despite whether or not we failed or succeeded in the mission/quest), I always thank them for their help and to have a good night/day. I wanted to thank our monk who went out of his way to change from Smiter to Healer (something he was entirely unfamiliar with) during our mission, but he left too fast afterwards. I thank people I trade with, run me, and I'm still trying to give some guy's money back that I accidentally shortchanged him. From a year ago. It's not really "going out of my way" to be courteous; I have always just been raised with manners. I thank the bus driver and the waitresses who clean my table, the cashiers, etc.

While it's nice to see other polite-minded people in this game, I really don't expect anyone to really listen to this plea. It's sad, but true. Everyone is raised from different walks of life, and some people are just general asshats (or worse, apathetic) and will never change. Plus, they have the cloak of anonymity on their shoulders; they say stuff they would never in a thousand years dream of saying to someone in real life. At least know that you aren't a source of ever-growing problems. Know that the someone on the other side of the computer that you thanked is grateful you even took the time to do so. Being recognised/appreciated always makes someone's day!

Shh.. or you will get insulted lfor such truthfull words....you have to be nice to every one.. even that bum on the train that is piss drunk couyou happen to brush by his foot..

In all seriousness i think lighting up and not treating Guild Wars players like your CHILDREN is the key.. Parenting can go only so far....i wonder if this person is a teacher or not from a small town in Texas..?

When it comes to flaming, noob calling, all that, just remember these ppl are not very intelligent and you can either just ignore them or own them with your wit, the classic being nice to ppl who are being mean is always a great way to frustrate them. For instance you just lost a battle in ra and the other team calls you noobs, reply, "You guys did a great job, gl!"

So if you're "old," you automatically have a stick up your butt and aren't willing to put up with "stupid" people?

Hmm...wonder why I can't put up with people then...

Well I hate to bring it up, but you asked for it.

"He who spares the rod hates his son: but he that loves him corrects him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)

Now this may seem a little out there from a Christian minded person but you talk of being kind to your neighbor and wonder why people are disrespectful.

I work with the public. While they are in front of me conducting important business their cell phone will ring. Without hesitation they will answer it and ignore me.
Some customers will caught all over my desk openly, no hands in front of their faces just spitting all over me and my stuff.
Other customers will burp and continue to talk as if the infraction never happened at all.

You talk about someone in a game saying GG or thanks for the res???

These kids should have been BEATEN with a rod - not killed just thrashed - like I was. Maybe they would see that there are consequences for their actions. Do I still love my parents for beating me? Heck yes cause guess what, I DESERVED IT.

Here is a true story,
A mother was arrested for beating down - and I mean beating down her young son in the store parking lot. The police came and arrested the woman and took the boy and his sister to the hospital for repairs.

The boy's injuries were mostly for his pride, the daughter had her arm broken in 3 places between the elbow and the shoulder!!!

The lady went to court and then the judge through out the case after hearing that the boy had viciously slammed the car door over and over again on his sisters arm because his sister was in the front seat of the car and the boy wanted to sit there. For this reason the mother lost it and was beating the boy to let go of the car door to save the daughter's life.

The boy should have gotten more than he got, mother never should have been reported without first talking to her and the daughter never should have been punished twice - once by the brother and once by idiots taking her mother away.

So now we have no morals or ethics at all. Sexuality is no longer a Moral issue but a personal choice, and that magoyavich (spelling) thinks its ok to sell congressional seats. Obama is as fiscally responsible as that little boy spending what he does not have driving us into debt and creating a federal tax on goods and services. What there is no federal tax on goods and services....wait for it, it's coming.

K, this thread is going to be closed soon (for obvious reasons) but really... politics, beating kids, prison, scripture quotes and sexuality all in 1 post imnotyourmother? I mean... wow. The OP is talking about a "thank you".

^ wait what.. you lost me.. not to be rude.. but how does it connetc to the issuae or discussion we have?.. Just explain simpler if you please i really dont understand what you mean to say.

All I am saying that manners are dead because there is no discipline at all. its dead cause there are not firm MORALS. Saying thanks is a MORAL that is taught.

What time period are you refering to that you lived in where manners and discipline were alive?

Uh huh, sure, MORAL, noted.

Well i do not think that OP will be coming back in any way...to finish his discussion.. Regarding thaqt long confusing post....umm are you trying to folow morals that are described in Bible?

Or are you sayung that normal morals are dead...because today when i came ot my job 20+ employes all said hi to me when they saw me..And my friend told me good luck when i had my surgery....my coach gave me an MVP award... Strange Morals are alive and well ... even in NY sometimes a buss driver woulod speak in cheery voice making the day seem brighter...really.. and what was that ordeal with a mom and a girl and boy..was that releveant?

Well when I was growing up in the 1970's if I was to talk back to a grownup I got smacked up the side of the head faster than you could say f*&^ You.

Just go to walmart and watch the kids and the parents for proof.

no respect for anyone. Its all about personal choice and selfishness.

no wonder kids do not say thank you cause they were not taught. There is a break down of social standards. More than 70% of all marriages end in divorce and over 50% of them are with children caught in the middle and you ask why kids do not say thank you? what do they have to be thankful for cause everything is their right of personal choice to say forget you. Just look at the flames in these message boards. There is no connection between people personal choice, love or indifference

Common courtesy can be found in the form of heros and henchmen or a good guild.

You won't find it in the local rabble.

You are acting like there is a time in history where the world was perfect, the fact is the world has always been messed up, and its gonna take more than a priest with a wacking stick to fix it.

ooh ooh i know a time when it was perfect.....Before monkey turned to a human being.. Animals abide the law of life...Eat or be eaten =) do i win?

The problem is the complete lack of self-respect. You need to respect yourself as an individual before you can respect others, and the kids of today are largely lacking in self-respect, primarily as a result of poor self-image engendered by the lack of proper parental love, support and caring. Bluntly, they're fronting because they believe they're worthless and they don't want anyone else to see they are.

Being a parent is hard, but letting your kids know you love them isn't. My mother was a strict disciplinarian (by modern standards) but I always knew she did what she did because she wanted the best for me.

I'm not going to go off into 'how to raise your children" tangent - nothing but trouble down that road.

But I will say this: All I can do is behave myself. It's not up to me whether people act with courtesy when treated with courtesy. It's no skin off my nose if I thank someone for being a gate monkey, for example, and they don't respond with a "YW." That's THEIR problem. I'll probably never run into them again. It bugs me a bit when I do something for someone and they don't express their appreciation, tho. (They come across as ungrateful bastards!)

On second thought - The Bible does NOT teach parents to abuse their children! It teaches that the motive for disciplining children should be love. Abuse is an act of hatred or anger.