The Ego-Killing Thread [CnC here]

BlueXIV

BlueXIV

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Mar 2006

CA

N/

Rules:
1. Be nice. This doesn't mean you can't give harsh critiques, but do it in a constructive manner and never attack the person directly.

2. Please refrain from posting useless comments if at all possible. "It's really cute!" doesn't help the artist.

3. Respect the wishes of the artists. It's their work they are putting out there.

4. Don't get defensive about unfavorable critiques. Most likely they are just trying to help.

5. No excuses. All we are doing is looking at your piece and letting you know how it can be better. Please refrain from giving us qualifiers.

Critique Form:
Use this if you need help getting started :P

Quote:
IMG
Title: [Optional]
Stage of Development: [Please tell us if it's finished or not]
Please look at: [specify parts you need help on. Optional]
Harshness: [Put a number between 1-10 for how harsh you want your critques. Only put a high number here if you are thick skinned and couldn't care less :P]
Comments/Notes: [Optional, put anything you want to let us know here]
Paint Okay?: [Yes/No, permission for other artists to paint over] Edit: GW stuff is a-ok, this will just be an anything goes thread

BlueXIV

BlueXIV

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Mar 2006

CA

N/

I should probably post the first one, since I made the thread D:.

hmmm which one to pick...

We'll go with an old practice portrait


Stage of Development: It's "done." As much as a portrait study will be.
Please look at: Lighting and color (?)
Harshness: Psh you can't hurt me critiquing a study. 10.
Comments/Notes: 40 minute color portrait study. Shame I can't find the original photo... :\

Morag D

Morag D

Desert Nomad

Join Date: Mar 2007

UK/Austria

[bone]

P/

all right, so I'm going to say what I think to get this thing started

generally, I really like the use of colours and textures, blending from a light purple to orange/yellowish hues - the roughness is very befitting for a study; the light reflections on the glasses make them look like there's actually glass in there. The only thing that bugs me a bit are the pretty strong, white highlights - while they work well on the hair and shirt, I think they're a tad too much in-your-face for, well, the face eyebrows are not quite the same colour but love the shadows under the chin and hair.

helps? considering that you're infinitely better at painting than I am... :P

Verene

Verene

Furnace Stoker

Join Date: Jan 2009

[SOTA]

D/

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b2...r/tzularge.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b2...zularge_bw.jpg

(this is the full-size image, so it's rather large. First one is colored and shaded, second is just the lineart)

Stage of Development: Completed
Please look at: In particular, I want to know what to work on, in terms of anatomy and proportions. Also if there's any weirdness in shading - I know some of it is awkward, so yeah.
Harshness: Err...7 I guess? I don't really care, just don't be like "this sucks and is horrible and blah blah blah"
Comments/Notes: This was done entirely digital in Open Canvas. I have never been very good at sketching digitally, and I've basically just started using OC. So the lineart is a horrible mess as I haven't yet figure out brush settings or anything too well, plus my tablet is a piece of crap. Any advice on OC, if anyone uses it? It does seem to like my tablet better than Photoshop does...

Widowmaker

Widowmaker

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Mar 2008

N/

Verene, since you asked about anatomy, I'd suggest you need to show the passage of her left thigh, I've tried to show it here. (The quick sketch in the top left has the thigh in blue to try and explain better), as it is the leg appears to start at the knee. I do realise you've added shading on the dress but her inner thighs should move closer together as they near her body.

The dress on her right leg suggests that the skirt is about mid-thigh length. If she'd quickly knelt to fire it would feel more natural, I think anyway, for it to ride up her thigh rather than cover her knee.

But I can also see the skirt my slope to one side and be much longer on that leg, if so you need to add more volume to it, it would drape down on either side of her leg because of the extra length.

The skirt clings to her left leg a little as well, again there may be reason for this but we can't see it if so, I'd suggest it should drape down from her leg rather than follow the contours however that may change anyway if you take my advice about the thigh.

I hope that seems valid, and doesn't make me sound like a complete arse.

Duranin

Duranin

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Feb 2007

East Coast

none

Me/

Quote:
Originally Posted by Verene View Post
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b2...r/tzularge.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b2...zularge_bw.jpg

(this is the full-size image, so it's rather large. First one is colored and shaded, second is just the lineart)

Stage of Development: Completed
Please look at: In particular, I want to know what to work on, in terms of anatomy and proportions. Also if there's any weirdness in shading - I know some of it is awkward, so yeah.
Harshness: Err...7 I guess? I don't really care, just don't be like "this sucks and is horrible and blah blah blah"
Comments/Notes: This was done entirely digital in Open Canvas. I have never been very good at sketching digitally, and I've basically just started using OC. So the lineart is a horrible mess as I haven't yet figure out brush settings or anything too well, plus my tablet is a piece of crap. Any advice on OC, if anyone uses it? It does seem to like my tablet better than Photoshop does... Widow commented on the legs, I'm going to comment on the arms. I'm nowhere near good at drawing proportional arms myself, but for starters I can say that both of the character's arms are too long and too uniform. Even females have arm muscles (usually...?) and you should try to show that. The arm on the left (pulling the bowstring back) bends at an unrealistic angle, and the bone looks curved ... blah, I'm terrible at explaining, here's a blueline. (because I don't like using red)

YunSooJin

YunSooJin

Pyromaniac

Join Date: Aug 2005

Mo/W

Verene___
The pose is wrong too, I think. I'm not a archer myself, but if I were to draw a bow kneeling, my legs do not assume the position in the picture if I wanted stability (important for firing an arrow, I think?).

You would have the lifted knee running parallel to your arms.

Qing Guang

Qing Guang

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Nov 2008

California

Lucid Spirits [LIFE]

N/A

BlueXIV: Not much I can say, since this is more or less beyond my abilities. The only thing I could say is to look at the ear - it looks like it's a direct continuation of the cheek. Maybe some more shading between the two?

Verene: You seem to have a pretty good handle on your foreshortening (which is more than I can say for myself), though I wonder if her knee really would appear to extend that far above her waistline. You might want to drop/reduce the shading on the top of her shoulder, too; it seems to be overriding your lighting direction. Other than that... I guess I just have some tips about the bow. First, you might want to consider adding a mitteny sort of thing to demonstrate where the fingers are on the riser, because otherwise it looks like she's turning her arm backwards so that her thumb would be on the bottom. Just a curved line should be good enough. Also, re: the hand on the string - perhaps it should come to a point or else just barely touch the string? Usually only 3 fingers are used to pull the string. And the string is pulled to either the chin (modern bows) or the cheek, halfway between the mouth and ear (traditional bows).

My inner archer is having a fit of apoplexy over the fact that she's about to dry-fire her bow, but that's a picky detail that has nothing to do with the technique/pose.

EDIT: Added my rendering of the pose (ack! it's big!), because as soon as YunSooJin pointed it out I did notice the flaw in the the stance. Personally I wouldn't have my left knee up at all; it would impede the string. Better to stick the whole leg straight out. Yeah I know I didn't follow my own advice on the bow, but I didn't want to spend an hour working on getting the limbs just perfect:

http://i910.photobucket.com/albums/a...iccyedited.jpg


Okay, now that I'm done with that, I submit myself to the rifle squad:

http://qing-guang.deviantart.com/art/Glare-132054128
Stage of development: Completed
Please look at: Legs, arms, and foreshortening
Harshness: 10 - Heck, just say whatever. I can take it.
Notes: I was attempting to replicate Makani's style (since she doesn't do commishes anymore), so please don't comment on that (and yes, I know I strayed out of that style around the jaw).

silavor

silavor

Lion's Arch Merchant

Join Date: Oct 2007

Canada

Keepers Of Twilight

Quote:
Originally Posted by Qing Guang View Post
http://qing-guang.deviantart.com/art/Glare-132054128
Stage of development: Completed
Please look at: Legs, arms, and foreshortening
Harshness: 10 - Heck, just say whatever. I can take it.
Notes: I was attempting to replicate Makani's style (since she doesn't do commishes anymore), so please don't comment on that (and yes, I know I strayed out of that style around the jaw). It might just be that my computer screen is dark, but her hips and left thigh seem to meld into the chair, with nothing to really distinguish between the two.

BlueXIV

BlueXIV

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Mar 2006

CA

N/

@Verene, take araiia's advice for arms, and widow's advice for the legs. Also, you can show a lot of motion with folds in her clothing. If you make the-ahh too annoying to describe, I'll draw it out
I CAN HAS COMBINED ARAIIA AND WIDOW CORRECTIONS?




@Qing Guang, the foreshortening isn't really the problem, I'd say it's the perspective on the chair. Right now it's facing towards us, but the way she is sitting, the chair should be facing a bit to the left and a bit more slanted towards the bottom.


BTW, I'm going to add another parameter to the CnC request form, "Paintover Okay?."

I know some people get irritated when other people paint over their stuff, so from now on, hopefully we'll know :P

Tzu

Tzu

Site Contributor

Join Date: Mar 2008

UK/norway

Order Of The Etherbloom Crown [ZEN]

ahahhahahahaha!! X''D
Seriously, Blue.... Spot. On.


Here's an oldie from me to rip apart:


final fantasy gender-change fanart FTL!

Yeaah, it's old, but it's something for you to pull apart and play with! Maybe I'll learn a thing or two anyway ^^

Title: -
Stage of Development: lineart
Please look at: everything!
Harshness: 11!
Comments/Notes: "used to be" this already gender-confused thing.
Paintover Okay?: yes plz!

BlueXIV

BlueXIV

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Mar 2006

CA

N/

@Tzu, other than being disgusting, there aren't that many major mistakes with I think. There are some little things you can work on tho, like left boob a bit lower, making the shorts not look like bamboo trunks, and letting the left leg be not so awkwardly sideways.

But other than that, it's pretty disgust-I mean, nice.

YunSooJin

YunSooJin

Pyromaniac

Join Date: Aug 2005

Mo/W

@Tzu the boot with the bent foot doesn't look right, primarily because while feet will bend so sharply, boots normally do not (unless you're applying a LOT of pressure), and if that's the case, there should be some major creases. Even then..boots still don't bend that much :P. Think about the bottom of the boot - its some pretty stiff rubber.

The fingers on the left hand are wrong as well. Look at your own hands - for the majority of us the middle finger is the longest finger, while the ring and index finger vary in size relative to one another.

Tzu

Tzu

Site Contributor

Join Date: Mar 2008

UK/norway

Order Of The Etherbloom Crown [ZEN]

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueXIV
View Post
@Tzu, other than being disgusting, there aren't that many major mistakes with I think. There are some little things you can work on tho, like left boob a bit lower, making the shorts not look like bamboo trunks, and letting the left leg be not so awkwardly sideways.

But other than that, it's pretty disgust-I mean, nice. lol XD you forgot to mention the askew botox lips, the knee with the strange bend, and the pasted-on eyes only a manequinn could get away with! But I'll forgive you, this time.

Yun: that's what I'm talking about, I totally agree with everything you mentioned ^^

BlueXIV

BlueXIV

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Mar 2006

CA

N/

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzu
View Post
lol XD you forgot to mention the askew botox lips, the knee with the strange bend, and the pasted-on eyes only a manequinn could get away with! But I'll forgive you, this time.

Yun: that's what I'm talking about, I totally agree with everything you mentioned ^^ I thought you were going for that style tho, so I didn't say anything D:

Espadon

Espadon

Lion's Arch Merchant

Join Date: Dec 2007

USA [GMT -5]

State of the Nolani [gusy]

A/

Blue that ranger jaw is silly xD

http://tabnir.deviantart.com/art/Tempest-131596839

Crits plz. It's a weak and cliche concept -- mostly looking for color reccs.

Also guys, please check poses before you give revisions. Obv you all missed the fact that keeping your torso straight like that with your legs etc etc is extremely awkward and uncomfortable. I might as well make you sneeze with your eyes open.

Needs more lean forward.

Verene

Verene

Furnace Stoker

Join Date: Jan 2009

[SOTA]

D/

LOL, panty-shot FTW!

Thanks for the advice, guys, I will definitely keep it in mind. And yes, as an archer, I am aware that it would be an extremely awkward pose (I have tried something like that before while playing with my bow. I fell on my ass while drawing the string back), I just wanted to try to draw something more dynamic than I usually go for, and it was certainly fun to draw XD And sorry for annoying your inner archer by forgetting the arrow, Qing, I knew something was missing but somehow didn't clock what it was. Not the first time I've forgotten a detail like that, either XD

Oh, and yeah, go ahead and paintover anything I post for critique. It definitely makes it easier for me to get what you mean.

Thanks again guys

Nice female Tidus, Tzu Do you know how many people I see cosplay gender-changed FF characters at the cons I go to?

Tzu

Tzu

Site Contributor

Join Date: Mar 2008

UK/norway

Order Of The Etherbloom Crown [ZEN]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Verene View Post
Nice female Tidus, Tzu Do you know how many people I see cosplay gender-changed FF characters at the cons I go to?
These days you can SnJ just about anything D:
I cry every time I see a cactuar with spikey boobs Q.Q

About the art, Espadon, I'm a bit too tired to dish out elaborated usefulness, but I had to look twice to see that cloaked character. She/he should stand out a little more. Some of the lighting from the geysir behind her, and from the lamp on her side should illuminate her more, in my opinion. Otherwise I like the creepyness. You could've added some more landscape to it in front of the character, or elaborated the landscape behind her, 'cus Im really curious about how "the rest" looks. I suspect there's not just one geysir there, considering the fumes and such.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Espadon View Post
Needs more lean forward. actually, that doesn't seem right to me. You seem to forget the fact that she has a bow. Have you tried shooting an arrow with a bent back? Baaaad idea. She should stretch it out, try it yourself and see how it feels.

Widowmaker

Widowmaker

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Mar 2008

N/

It's valid point, where does style end and simple mistakes begin? An arm coming out a forehead is usually going to be a mistake, but style it is something I am wary of passing comment on.

Oh, and I totally avoided the panty shot opportunity because I wasn't going to get into the anatomy of panty shots.

Reference material for that folks.

Espadon

Espadon

Lion's Arch Merchant

Join Date: Dec 2007

USA [GMT -5]

State of the Nolani [gusy]

A/

I've never tried shooting an arrow, but I've tried to straighten my spine with my legs in that position and it hurts like hell [and the current revision state just looks awkward]. Something needs to be changed regardless.

Arm is not coming out of head since when you lean forward your head... Gogo pose mannequin check. IMO bad to CnC wips like this because your intentions are hard to figure out. You could as well want to do pic reminiscent of ancient Egyptian figures and have us end up giving crits in the wrong direction?

~nymph~

~nymph~

Lion's Arch Merchant

Join Date: Aug 2006

Might as well join in

http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/d...rmoon/test.jpg

My first serious attempt at digital coloring... It's not finished, no where near as there's a second character that's supposed to be in there. Just critique the coloring as it's not my drawing. The drawing was done by a friend of mine for an old contest here on guru and I have permission from her to use it for practicing my coloring. Painting over is fine.

Konig Des Todes

Konig Des Todes

Ooo, pretty flower

Join Date: Jan 2008

Citadel of the Decayed

The Archivists' Sanctum [Lore]

N/

Just want to make sure I get the point of this thread: To show one's art, and ask how to improve it, correct? Just wanting to make sure, since Blue's first post (and title) doesn't really make it clear. o_0

Qing Guang

Qing Guang

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Nov 2008

California

Lucid Spirits [LIFE]

N/A

Tzu's right about bending over. Slumping when you shoot will make your arrow go all wonky... keeping the torso straight may be painful, but at least you're not collapsing. About half the draw is in the back, not the arms, so that's kinda important. Also, I stick to what I said about holding the left leg straight - unless she's supposed to be using a shortbow or horsebow, that knee WILL be in the way of the string (as is indicated by everyone's drawings curving the lower string line - the knee would cut straight through a straight line). Heck, it's bad enough having the boob in the way; no need to add another obstacle as well. (Though, ideally, you wouldn't be shooting in that position anyway, but hey - sometimes you have to.)

Thanks for the comments on mine. So... it seems (in the future; no way am I going back to that one) I need to better indicate that she's sitting at an angle in the chair? Aaand I need to indicate that her butt is displacing pillowage.

Nymph: Looking pretty good, though you might want to add a directional light source and the accompanying shading. Other than that, the only thing I have to say is that you should probably reduce/eliminate the shading in between the shoulderblades. It looks like she's got back cleavage.

BlueXIV

BlueXIV

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Mar 2006

CA

N/

@Espadon, there is definitely still something wonky about the pose, but you really can't lean forward while still exerting that much force on the string and bow.
In your pose, I feel like she is holding a sniper rifle :\

Edit: tried the pose myself, I did end up naturally leaning over, but at the same time, the bow string would have cut into my leg by doing so. I think what we can take away from this is clearly not to use a bow while kneeling like that


oh and for your painting, I think you just need better separation between foreground and midground. Some of the rocks in what I think is the midground have very dark shadows, which I get is because of the lantern light, but it pulls the scene forward a lot. Also, some rim lighting I think would make the painting a lot better by framing the points of interest as well

I did a quick paint over, http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/4909/paintover.jpg
Not saying it's the best, or even a good way to do things, but yeah, might help a bit :\

Oh and I also connected the geyser pool with the top of the painting, which I feel would help unify the whole composition a bit more.

@Konig, this thread is just for Comments and Criticism, since in the artists' discovery thread, we thought one of these may help :P

Invertation

Invertation

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Jul 2006

Shiverpeaks Search And Rescue [Lost]

W/

I know this archery banter is taking up the whole thread, but I thought I might comment--
I personally tried the pose, and the most comfortable/natural had me arching my back arched slightly backwards, not forwards. A bit of chaos for all of you.

BlueXIV

BlueXIV

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Mar 2006

CA

N/

...How many people here do archery <_<

seems way above normal.

Verene

Verene

Furnace Stoker

Join Date: Jan 2009

[SOTA]

D/

Whenever I'm drawing a bow I'm trying to make sure that I have my left arm turned enough so that the string doesn't scrape it, because that hurts like hell. That generally keeps me occupied Though I've noticed that since injuring my back in a car accident a few years back, I can't shoot as long as I used to be able to. And I learned archery in high school because it used to be offered in PE, and then ended up getting my own bow from someone in my family.

I do love all of the conversation that was sparked by my drawing, btw XD So amused. Also, for the record, I had been using this for reference on the pose.

Morag D

Morag D

Desert Nomad

Join Date: Mar 2007

UK/Austria

[bone]

P/



lol, I just HAD to join this epic!
btw, I don't do archery (well, not really..), but I do fencing xD swords totally pwn bows

BlueXIV

BlueXIV

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Mar 2006

CA

N/

WTB Center of balance XD

Morag D

Morag D

Desert Nomad

Join Date: Mar 2007

UK/Austria

[bone]

P/

it's called body control xD

Qing Guang

Qing Guang

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Nov 2008

California

Lucid Spirits [LIFE]

N/A

Yeah, she does look a bit like she's about to fall over with the next little gust of wind. The up angle might be a good idea, though.

And yeah, I hadn't really thought about it (being a spoiled recurver who gets to use a sight, etc) but I suppose that is why you'd have to draw to the cheek on a traditional bow, unless you were using an aiming point other than the arrowhead.

Nian

Nian

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Mar 2007

Finland

R/

You guys like "forms" way too much.*cough*

@Blue,
I really like the colors in your study aswell. Esp. the skin tone and the yellow tint make it more lively. My minor peeve would be that the whole image is very dark, the shirt is shaded very darkly and then suddenly the skin part lacks the dark shades completely. So mainly his left cheek could be shaded with much darker colors to give a more dramatic feel. Great study still.

@Verene,
About the archer picture. A lot of people already drew different anatomy solutions so I won't. I would just suggest when drawing something like archery it's good to fire up google and use reference. Archery is a world with it's own rules on how to hold the bow properly and how a bow should look to actually work. It's like me drawing a gun and always getting told off how I got everything wrong by gun enthusiasts or military people because I didn't bother to check. The arms of someone streching a bow should be drawn on a straight horizontal line or at least to follow the direction the arrow is going. I notice you also avoided drawing fingeeeerss. One of my pet peeves is when people don't bother to draw them or try to hide the hands because they are difficult but oh so essential. Well at least you didn't hide them. ;D It's a nice dynamic picture though. Stuff like this is waay more interesting & ambitious than people just standing around.

@Qing Guang,
If you were trying to imitate makani then I would say it's a good job. The facial expression and the pose are very reminescent of the funny style makani has. The chair may need some work with the lines and the character could look like it was slumping down more on the seat. Here's what I was thinking:
Chair

Character
With skirt

Sorry for the crappyness. Crappy tablet+PS Elements ftl. Photoshop rulers are great for stuff like the chair(View->Rulers->Just drag them). Also while drawing a spot with the brush and then pressing shift and drawing another spot in another location will draw a straight line between the spots. Consider drawing one half of the chair and then mirroring the other. The chair could be more exaggerated than what I drew. (PS Elements seems to suck so much I can't even use rulers. ) For a cartoony style realistic proportions are not the best choise but it should still look like it could be real even when really exaggerated. At first glance the only thing that struck me as odd was the chair. The picture as a whole looks very nice imo.

@Tzu,
I can't find much to be fixed in your gender confused Tidus. To me the proportions and all look balanced as they are. Except the outfit. I'm sorry but I have to oppose it hahaha. Nipple straps!?

@Espadon,
I really like your paintings. This one has a great idea but the focus point might be a bit confusing. The first thing I noticed was the flashy white background which is taking too much attention from the more interesting stuff like the figure below and the mechanism with the red light above which seem to me like they are after the figure. Maybe the red lights on the figure and the machine could be stronger and they could be painted sharper to overpower the backgrounds flashy steam geysers. I'm not sure if the picture even needs the geysers even though it seems to be what started it. :P Still I really like this. It's eerie and gets my imagination running wild.

@nymph,
That's you first? That's pretty good for a first! And pretty ambitious to go with the lineless look too. I guess what it needs more than anything is much stronger shading. Figure out where the light is coming from and just add stronger shades in the opposite direction and don't be afraid to use strong colors for contrast. You could just add a new layer on top and do the shades on that one incase something goes wrong so it's easier to erase and redo.

@Morag D,
LOL @ the lady in high heels. :'D That looks painful. That reminds me lots of statues(like the greek goddesses) and old photos of women having them posing with a bow just looking pretty but not actually looking like they could shoot anything. I guess that works too huh?

Nian

Nian

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Mar 2007

Finland

R/

Heck I'll just post my WIPs from the other thread.

The warrior pic:

I'm thinking of redrawing it all so feel free to rip it apart. I want to change the pose slightly to be more natural and relaxed. She's supposed to look tired/resting after a battle next to a cozy fire.

Hailfall's necro:

I need to redraw the arms and maybe make her hold an item like a book, apple or a scale. She's supposed to look dreadful and not girly so any and all suggestions welcome.

Morag D

Morag D

Desert Nomad

Join Date: Mar 2007

UK/Austria

[bone]

P/

@ Nian:
love the warrior's fluffy cloak, I WANT ONE! I've always loved the way you draw fur, especially on clothes
I like the idea that she's still holding onto the sword, but perhaps it would look more natural if it didn't come in front of her leg - quite some bending required I believe it would still be strong enough if one could only see the hilt and a bit of the blade - after all, it's kindof a peaceful image. Keep the cloak, and the way she holds it, that's awesome. As for pose - perhaps a bit more horizontal, leaning back against something, y'know? I quite like it as it is though. However, it's quite front on, and the fire is seen from above, so perhaps you'd have to change the perspective on the fire a little.

agree with Widowmaker's comment on Necro
can't wait for the finished versions!
*clap*

Verene

Verene

Furnace Stoker

Join Date: Jan 2009

[SOTA]

D/

Nian - I have to agree with Morag. It might look more natural if the sword wasn't in front of both of her legs - that'd be a bit of an awkward and unnatural pose to hold for too long. Perhaps have her leaning back a bit more (just more relaxed in general), and move the sword so that it's behind her leg?