Destroyer, Ectos, Celestial Rat, Ox give away [Stories Edition #1]

T121AD

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Jan 2009

14 Mar 2010 at 02:02 - 1

Before I announce the winner, I just want to say that I enjoyed reading all of your stories. There were many really good/funny stories, but unfortunately not everyone can win. Having said that, I WILL however, have more contests. So look out for the very soon. Anyways, here are the winners, followed by honorable mentions, who ALMOST made the cut. I just thought they should deserve some recognition at the very least. AND for the rest of the entries, please keep trying in my future contests, you never know - after all, it's all my personal preference, opinion and sense of humor (which can be weird sometimes

)

1st: Mary Wine - IGN: Mary Wine (Post #2)

2nd: Lloyd6770 - IGN: Back Off Bubba (Post #10)

3rd: Skeletor Il - IGN: Skeletor Il (Post #38)

4th: JoeGrogan (Post #52)

5th: Ky Gyfre - IGN: Ky Gyfre (Post #12)

6th: drasco - IGN: Volatilis Spiculum (Post #21) *Entry by PM. I'm not sure if he wants to share his story.

Congratulations all the winners! Please PM me here and we will set up a good time to meet. JoeGrogan, I'm going to need your IGN. NOTE: If you don't claim your present within a week to 10 days, the prizes will go to the pool of the next contest. I'm sorry but I can't keep chasing ya'll.

Honorable Mentions (without any particular order):

Yuna Matsumarui (Post #8)

Stoney Malloney (Post #11)

WowThatsMe (Post #15)

Reginator (Post #16)

siadina (Post #17)

Fear The Apocalypse (Post #18)

Ralisti (Post #22)

eccarwiz (Post #26)

Marie The Avenger (Post #27)

Ronarc (Post #29)

joely b (Post #35)

crazybanshee (Post #43)

Trillian D (Post #47)

megaz (Post #55)

Sir Baddock (Post #57)

Najade (Post #58)

ChromisElda (Post #58)

I Rogue Syndicate I (Post #61)

Thanks all for participating. Next contest should be up very soon. Till next time guys.

.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .....

I am looking for funny stories that you have encountered (MUST BE REAL). As far as the legitimacy of these stories go, I will be the judge of that. So it can be about anything, something you saw, something that happened to you; as long as you find humor in it. (I hope I do too).

IMPORTANT: Please keep in mind that stories posted in the thread must follow the rules of the forum. That means inappropriate language and content will cause your entry to be deleted by the mod. So I ask everyone to please watch your language/content when you make a post.
Thanks all.

I'll be naming 3 - 6 winners (funniest/best stories);

The prizes are as follows:

1st: Unded Destroyer + 10 Ectos

2nd: Unded Celestial Rat + 5 Ectos

3rd: Unded Celestial Ox + 2 Shards + 2 Rubies + 1 Ecto

4th: Unded Celestial Ox

5th: Unded Celestial Ox

6th: Unded Celestial Ox

Deadline:

The deadline for the story entry is March 31, 11:59PM EST. The winners will be named 24-48 hours after the deadline.

Notes:

Please keep in mind that I am serious at giving away these prizes as I have no need for them. And since I am quitting, I don't see a better way at giving my things away. It's fun for me and for you. I will probably have plenty more of these as I have made a lot of money in this game.

If I don't get enough story entries, I might only have 1 or 2 winners instead of 3.

1 story per person.

Have fun and good luck.

EDITED by LicensedLuny Warning
Please use good judgment when choosing the subject and language of your story submission, and remember that a lot of different people visit this site.
Posts that violate the general forum rules against offensive material will be deleted.

I would rather not have to lock this entire thread down because people can't figure out what is and is not appropriate to post on a public forum.

Replies should be submissions only! This is not a discussion thread. If you want to comment on the contest or specific stories, keep it to PM.

T121AD, please do not delete this warning message.

Mary Wine

Pre-Searing Cadet

Join Date: Mar 2010

A R K A N G E L S [ARK]

14 Mar 2010 at 05:35 - 2

I have one of those gullible and stupid teachers for my English class. One day she went out to print out the quiz we were about to take. Garza, one of my classmates, walked out of the classroom and out of the building and laid down on the concrete, right next to the wall below our room. Being on the 3rd floor, we opened the window. When she came back, she noticed his empty seat and asked us where Garza went. We shook our heads and told her to look outside the window. Garza was laying on the floor "DEAD". She ran outside. We told Garza to go to the other side. Apparently she went outside and saw nothing and went back in with the Dean. Garza was sitting in his desk, a little out of breath, smiling and asked why she looked so scared. He got detention for a week because one of the janitors was outside and saw the whole thing.

IGN Mary Wine

talon994

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Mar 2009

Ontario,Canada

聖光麒麟

14 Mar 2010 at 05:35 - 3

Once upon a time, Bob was playing JQ. Bob had gone up the stairs near green and an elementalist kept staying close and following Bob. Being the ignorant drunk that Bob was at 3 AM. Bob said,: ''What the fu** do you want?'' To which the elementalist replied, :'' I like your weapons''. Bob kept on playing and kept pwning noobs. After he killed each noob, he /zranked their dead body. This resulted in uproar among the local chat. Close to the end of the match, Bob was being insulted by 3-4 angry Kursucks. At this point the elementalist, Had jumped in and tried to defend Bob in the most broken english a man could ever witness. Evar. After the match, Bob was messaged by the elementalist who was asking for Bob's build.After Bob pinged him his build, The ele said to Bob,:'' Thxs man unowppl likke uonw this game jaja'' Being drunk, Bob was able to learn about all this through his gf, who was sitting with him while he played Guild Wars drunk.

The End

This was a true story but I wrote it through narrator perspective-ness

laksa and curry

Lion's Arch Merchant

Join Date: Feb 2009

14 Mar 2010 at 06:44 - 4

Teenaged boy burped beside me on the train ..... he thought its cool to have loud burps. He messed with the wrg man. My fart can stop invading armies. Poor boy's face turned purple. The best part was no one knew its me ^^

zrahed

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Jun 2007

Dallas Tx

Killas On Pay [ROLL]

R/Rt

14 Mar 2010 at 07:07 - 5

well guild mate got a R9 Obbi edge. tried trading it for 140e , saw some one asking to buy a darkhorn rod R9 spawning for 140e, and then saw another person trading a R9 darkhon rod for an R9 obbi edge, thinking he could trade then out and sell he procceded to trade for the rod only to see both people standing next to each other with the same look,name and guild tag. so they both pm him saying Noob. He tells us the story in vent and everyone tried their hardest not to laugh but lol we just had to. true story kinda sad but weh ad our laughs

Acoyate Oblivion

Academy Page

Join Date: Jan 2010

R/Mo

14 Mar 2010 at 07:49 - 6

K, this is my ridiculous story.

One day me and my friend were riding bikes I was riding trying to look cool and was going full speed yelling back and looking at my friend "LOOK NO HANDS!", He yelled look out, I ran straight into a car and flew off my bike the car went off and half the neighbor hood came outside cause the crash was so loud.

IGN: Acoyate Oblivion

Manx

Pre-Searing Cadet

Join Date: Mar 2010

Wolves of Lengendary Fortune

R/N

14 Mar 2010 at 09:21 - 7

hope im not too late ;/

Last year a couple of days before christmas a woman ran after her christmas tree which had come lose from the top of her car she ran after it down the steep road towards a junction, i was with my dad on the other side of the junction it was a red light for us, so her christams tree and herself went thorugh the cars passing by somehow neither of them were hit the tree nearly rolled into a river but my dad had got out of his car and stopped the tree going any further. He returned to the car and got alot of horns from behind for not moving but we both just kept on laughing.

IGN: Manx Ranger

Yuna Matsumarui

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Mar 2009

Me/

14 Mar 2010 at 11:26 - 8

me and a friend of mine had a good idea to make some quick cash during school. we decided to sell sandwiches in school, below the price the school was selling them for. we had unplugged a drinksmachine to have electricity for our devices. we plugged our devices in, and started making those sandwiches. we made 20 Euro's that day, and we got sued for tapping electricity and ruining a whole machine full of soda's ._.". since in Europe we don't have a jury, the judge decided to let us go with a warning (thank God!) and we got a week detention. it made it to our school's website and we got pretty 'famous' in high school.

well, at least we made 10 euro's each

IGN: Taylor Furyspear

Nobody Silverblade

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Feb 2010

14 Mar 2010 at 13:13 - 9

We were in college, Roman Law class, and the teacher assistant was explaining how romans decided who was right and who was wrong in conflicts between them. So, these two girls were talking a bit too loud, in an anfi-theatre of +/- 300 students, the teacher pin points them:
-"Carolina and the other one which I don't know, what's your name?"
-"Adriana."
-"Adriana, shut up. See? In classes you talk. But when you're doing oral exams, you'll be sitting down here, in this... pit. And your will be nerves on the edge, your voice won't come, your thoughts will freeze, and tears will come down your face."

I found it hillarious, couldn't stop laughing.:x

Ingame name: Nobody Silverblade

Lloyd6770

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Dec 2005

One

15 Mar 2010 at 00:24 - 10

Back in highschool, it was during winter break. I lived in Colorado at the time, so there was lots of snow, and we decided to go sledding. At first, we just starting sledding down this hill, and after a few runs, it got boring. The hill wasn't all that long, and there were a few trees. Crashing into the trees was about as exciting as it got. I was looking around, and realized that my friends house that we were at had a 1 story barn. I also noticed that on the other side of the barn was another decent hill. I had the bright idea of suggesting, "Hey, lets sled off the roof!". We wheeled a trailer up to the edge of the barn and put a 55 gallon drum on the edge of it so we could hop on the roof. We hop up on the roof, get the sled up there, and one of my other friends offers to go first. 2 of us push him, and things end up going pretty well. He hits the stop fo the hill, and sleds down without trouble. My next friend decides to give it a try, and very similar results. I decide to give it a whirl. Now I'm kind of the big dopey friend of the group, taller, bigger around, etc. I hop on the sled, and 3 people try to push me off the roof instead of 2. I get going pretty good, reach the edge of the roof and go flying off. Apparently big people don't fly as far as littler people. Instead of hitting the top of the hill and sliding down without peril, I hit the crest of the hill, break the sled, and roll down the hill, eventually stopping with the help of a tree. As you can imagine, it didn't feel very good, and the first thing I hear is, "Bitch, you broke the sled!".

IGN - Back Off Bubba

Stoney Malloney

Lion's Arch Merchant

Join Date: Nov 2006

Netherlands, Amsterdam

Connoisseur of Ectoplasm [eC]

15 Mar 2010 at 00:25 - 11

Well, my work is supposed to be about discretion, but this being the internet it doesn't really matter anyways. Currently I have a job as private chauffeur for people and I had to drive this woman (she was far from attractive though... just before someone starts...) from some chinese restaurant back to a parking garage near her home in A. Anyways I went to the restaurant and notified her/personnel of my presence. When she was done dining, she want to stand in the middle of the restaurant, and when the personnel asked her what she was doing here (she was standing just a tadbit (cough ALOT) in the way) she points towards me. So after a while I asked her if everything's alright. 'Yeah, let's go'. Well she couldn't find the exit to start with, she was sure it was on the other side of where the actual exit was. Finally having convinced Miss B the exit really is over there, she actually falls against a wine rack, having helped her up (only 2 bottles broke thanks to the soft carpet...) we went outside... The moment we're outside she's like... 'Uhm, where did I leave my car?' and I was like 'Uhm? On the parking behind the restaurant?' after which, with a surprised glare in her eyes she replies: 'Yeah... I guess'...

So after a short walk we get to the parking place... She confidently steps up to a car, hits the remote control to unlock the vehicle... Nothing happens... Well, not with the blue car in front of us, then again, she had a grey/silver Mercedes, not a blue BMW... I was like 'Isn't your car over there with the lights turning on?' she replied: 'Oh you found my car, great!'.

So once in the car, she falls asleep and doesn't wake up till I woke her up when we arrived. The moment she wakes up she's a bit surprised and in all the rush she opens the door without looking if it was clear. Being in a parking garage didn't help, she smashed her door into the car next to her. I had her sign the forms that I didn't take any responsibility for any of the damage to her car, she couldn't even get read the papers so she just signed without having the vaguest clue of what she was signing.

Needless to say, because of all the crap that happened that night, I missed the last metro home... I was not allowed to take a cab because there were 'night busses'... It took me 2 hours to get home while it was freezing 4 degrees, but I had a helluva fun night mocking that woman

Ky Gyfre

Pre-Searing Cadet

Join Date: Mar 2010

FLeE

W/E

15 Mar 2010 at 04:24 - 12

Hmmm there are some good stories here. Ill go with a MMO one.
So I was playing Star Wars Galaxies. This is when it first came out. There are big creatures called krayt dragons that dropped really expensive loot but, at the time, were very hard to kill even for a large group. Well there was a problem that krayt dragons were too big to fit between buildings so you could run between the building and the krayt would be stuck on the other side. This allowed someone to attack and kill the krayt dragons safely. Well players could place personal buildings anywhere outside of cities. My guild had a guild hall and some player homes, one being mine, near an area rittled with krayt spawns. One day me and some guildies go out to our guild hall to add some decorations to find a fairly large group of guys pulling krayts to our buildings to kill them. We were like whatever and proceeded to what we had come to do. However, when we finished we were like, let see if we can team up with those guys. So we went to the guys and were like "mind if we join up with you or maybe take turns"? Well one of the guys was like "yes we do mind, go away". Well after trying to be nice and constantly getting rejected we just decided to attack the krayts they were dragging in to try and get rights to the loot, though their group more than doubled ours. This just pissed them off so they started calling us every name in the book. We tried to reason with them again but got the same attitude. Well I told the rest of my guild, in private, to get back, far back, and they did. In SWG you can move your house at any given time and the rude group didn’t realize that the house they were using was mine, even though it did display my player name. Boy were they in for a surprise. I waited until they pulled a fresh krayt and then I picked the house up. Man it was like cockroaches scattering. They started dropping like flies sending me nasty pm threats as they could not normal chat incapped on the ground. I got incapped as well but it was worth it. What’s even worse is that armor and weapons, in SWG, degrade over time with use and even more when you die so nothing last forever. Well it wasn’t over then. They came back from the cloner, a respawn point, trying to goad me into do PvPing them with name calling. Well a guildy went off and pulled another krayt to our location killing the a-holes, and me lol, all over again. This pretty much took the wind out of their sails and we didn’t end up seeing them again. Well I saw them at the cloner but not after that. Watching them run around cussing up a storm trying to survive was hilarious. I wish I still had screen shots.

-Ky Gyfre

Lucky Ace

Academy Page

Join Date: Jul 2008

W/A

15 Mar 2010 at 05:44 - 13

BEST STORY EVER:
This one time I was going to paint this house,
But then it started to rain,
So I did not paint the house.

Thank you
-Lucky Ace

Knight of Balthazer

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Mar 2006

Currently None

W/N

15 Mar 2010 at 07:03 - 14

About 4 or 5 years ago, I (11) and my 3 other siblings who were around 7, 5 and 4 years of age, went to the great magical place of wal-mart to get a new fish because the 3rd oldest (Noah) had accidently flushed it down the toilet while playing in the toilet with it. So our mom brings us up there and tells us to go pick out the fish while she goes to shop for some other things. Well, We pick out the new fish, and try to call the wal-mart fish grabber man to come scoop it out for us. At first he ignored us, he looked like he didn't enjoy anything being an old grouchy crack head looking man. So he came and asked us what fish to get. We told him the super fast guppy. So he got his net from which Noah had grabbed for him. When he went to scoop it out he seemed to have the fish trapped a couple of times but could not get it out. This made him very angry. he began to curse the world in front of me (11) and my siblings (7,5,4). In which he threw his jacket down and his little scooper net thing and said he's done with walmart! Well we decided we could get it ourselves. Come to find out after examing the net, Noah had cut a hole in the bottom of the scooper net so he would never catch the fish because he wanted the sucker fish instead of the guppy. XD good times.

WowThatsMe

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Sep 2009

Australia

D/A

15 Mar 2010 at 07:59 - 15

Back in the day, when i was a wee little lad, I was at a school sporting event and decided to kick the soccer ball around with a few friends. As it was a school event, there were alot of people, and alot of people means a large crowd. So i thought id try to be funny and kick the ball into the large group.
Now, I'd better mention that it had rained softly earlier that day, so the ground was a li'l wet.
I took a step back, and kicked the ball. I fell over right onto my arse.
FAIL. Everyone turned to me and started laughing. -.- Bigger FAIL.

Morale of the Story: When something involves wet ground, a soccer ball, and a large crowd of people, don't try to be funny -.-

IGN : I Have A Steady Aim

Reginator

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Apr 2007

N/Mo

15 Mar 2010 at 13:53 - 16

I'll bite...

I was on a trip to russia with a large group of people, and staying at a small hotel. It was fairly small, with maybe 4-5 rooms per floor, and probably 8-9 floors in all.

To access the different floors, there was of course the stairs, and a small elevator, approximately the size of a port-a-john.

As a bit of background info, most elevators have weight sensors in them, first to make sure that the mechanism can safely lift and lower the box and contents, and secondly, to make sure the motor doesn't burn out from someone being stupid and pushing all of the buttons as they're stepping out.

In the US, most weight sensors are on either the ceiling or around the full base of the elevator box. However, this one was on the actual floor. What we discovered was, if you could pull yourself off the floor while the elevator was moving, the weight sensor would zero out, think that it was empty, go to the nearest floor, and shut down until someone pressed a call button. To accomplish this, I could pull myself up on the handrails inside.

So, being the childish smart kid I was, I decided to show this to some other guys with the group. Now, I was pretty small at the time, and one of the other two uf us was skinny as well, but the third guy was a bit larger. Me and the other skinny guy pulled ourselves up on the rails on opposite sides of the elevator, and the big guy was gonna do the same in the middle. However, when he quickly tried to do this, his arms flew out and hit both of us on the sides, knocking all 3 of us to the floor. This did two things: first, it zeroed out the weight sensor just long enough for it to register in the weight sensor. Then, the force of all 3 of us hitting the floor simultaneously caused the weight sensor to spike, greatly exceeding the weight limit of the sensor.

The elevator did not plummit us to our doom, but just shut itself off completely. Stuck between 2 floors. In a country where we couldn't yet speak enough to let someone know how stuck we really were.

So, we spent the next 2 hours waiting for someone to walk by the elevator within the two floors (that spoke english) so we could find the group translator, call maintenance, and have the elevator manually cranked to an opening where we could open the door and get out.

Needless to say, we took the stairs for the rest of our stay...

Ign: peter venkmann

siadina

Academy Page

Join Date: Apr 2006

A Fate Worse Then Death

15 Mar 2010 at 21:43 - 17

My sister and I took her son fishing the other day. In a boat. First time ever for the little guy he's 5. Well u know fish they like worms so we told him to grab a worm and hook it. Well he wouldnt touch em, so my sister knelt right infront of nate and proceded to put the worm on his hook. He watched in what i would consider little boy facination. Boy was i wrong. We turned our backs to cast his pole, and by the time we had turned around, he had the rest of the worms in his lap. Talking to them. We got closer and heard the following. "ohhh worms im sorry about your friend...' and my sister asked what friend and nate replied 'the one you hooked and thew out to drown' It took us forever to stop laughing and he kept all the worms safe and released them when we got back to the dock in the dirt.
Siadina Sorrowchild

Fear The Apocalypse

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Dec 2006

Project Flyswatter [SWAT]

15 Mar 2010 at 22:16 - 18

Well here is my Story:

My brother and I took my little cousin to the Funtasia (It's a family fun center i.e arcade games, mini golf, go-karts etc...) near my house. We spent the whole day running around trying to keep up with him (he was 8 at the time). We did pretty much everything possible in the place... laser tag, bumper cars, go-karts, arcade games, mini golf, we even ate lunch there. Towards the end of the day though my little cousin wanted to do the Batting Cages (pay money and hit baseballs). About half way through he stopped and had this look of pain on his face, when I asked what was wrong he replied "I have to go to the bathroom". About the time he finished his sentence a puddle (of urine) began forming at his feet and running down hill to the ball pit (where the balls are collected and pitched back to other people in the batting cages). His reaction to the matter..... He kept batting cause he did not want to miss a pitch. Mine and my brothers reaction (as well as the others witnessing the act) UNCONTROLLABLE laughter.

Hope you liked my story.

-Fear The Apocalypse

beagle warrior

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Mar 2008

[HERE]

15 Mar 2010 at 23:37 - 19

i pmed u my story, just posting this as a reminder

ign: Beagle warrior

TheGuildWarsPenguin

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Aug 2005

Los Angeles, California

Picnic Pioneers

16 Mar 2010 at 00:44 - 20

I was playing BS with a few of my friends. So I had a 7 of clubs and I tried to BS with it, but it flipped over while I was putting it on the pile.

The next time it was my turn, I tried to BS with the same card, and it flipped over again.

drasco

Pre-Searing Cadet

Join Date: Aug 2006

W/Mo

16 Mar 2010 at 16:37 - 21

Reminder of my application via PM

IGN: Volatilis Spiculum

Ralisti

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Jan 2010

CST

16 Mar 2010 at 18:04 - 22

In high school I worked at a turkey barn. When the turkeys were about to be shipped off, I threw one in the back of my truck to take home so I could chop it up and cook it. Upon arrival, I opened up the back of the truck, and the turkey just takes off. After finally catching it, I hand my younger brother a lead pipe so he can pop it on the head while I hold the bird down. I told him, that whatever he did, DO NOT hit me, hit the bird's head. He says "I'm not that stupid, just let me do it already" So he winds up with this lead pipe, and BOOM, hits me right in the hand. The freakin turkey takes off running, (pretty sure he was laughing his tailfeathers off) and my brother takes off running the other direction crying because he's sure I'm going to kill him. So now, in complete pain and almost a broken bleeding hand, I have to pick up the pipe and go kill this turkey and clean it.

I look up in the window and my dad is crying he is laughing so hard

Not a good day for me, but the turkey sure tasted good.

Alexander Kane

Pre-Searing Cadet

Join Date: Mar 2010

[phnx]

N/W

16 Mar 2010 at 18:05 - 23

I used to teach a fitness class at preschools for 4's and 5's. Around Valentine's Day, I had gathered the 5 year olds around and asked, "Now who can tell me what Valentine's Day is all about?" One excited little boy raised his hand and shouted "Candy!" The little girl next to him sharply interrupted him, "No it's not, CHRISTMAS is about candy!"

Their teachers and I just about died laughing.

IGN: Kida Doomhammer

TeeMack

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Mar 2010

Warriors Battling Ignorance [WBI]

W/Mo

16 Mar 2010 at 23:47 - 24

Here's mine:

My friend was having a little get together at a hotel room for his 17th birthday, and he invited me and 2 other friends along. During the night, we arrived on our floor via elevator, only to be confronted by a group of 10 year old girls that were also celebrating a birthday. They started talking to us in a "crushy" kinda way and when we walked away they started chanting "DBags, dbags, dbags". One of my friends, who is 6 foot 6 tall, turned around, started stomping their way and screamed "SHUT UP YOU LITTLE B***H I'LL KILL YOU". I have never seen ANYONE so scared in my ENTIRE life.

100% true story.

IGN - De Hungerize

Fortuna1

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Apr 2008

South Africa

The Evening Stars [ES]

18 Mar 2010 at 17:16 - 25

Well this story is kind of grim, so sensitive people please do not read this.

It was the second year of high school (Grade 9 in South African terms), we were all chilling together in break and something weird happened the previous day, a guy put a dog sh*t in my friends pencil case as a joke - i found that funny - so the next day i told my friend i would pay him R20 if he took a sh*t in the guys pencil case (the one that put the dog turd is his pencil case), and well it was GRIM. We eventually got busted and were suspended for two weeks, but seeing the reaction on that guys face was worth it, it was priceless

Alma Edge.

eccarwiz

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Nov 2009

USA

Serenity Of The Night

Rt/R

18 Mar 2010 at 21:44 - 26

From 5th-8th grade I went to a Jewish private middle school and every other year the 8th and 7th grade would go to Israel for 2 weeks. So finally it was time for the 7th and 8th grade (I was in 8th grade) to go to Israel.
During the two weeks I caused a lot of trouble, but it was nothing compared to what I did on the day we were supposed to fly home. On the last day my classmates and I had to stay in the hotel and wait until the bus came to bring us to the airport. So after about 2.5 hours I got really hungry so I told my roommate that I was going to sneak out of the hotel, get some food and come right back. And so I snuck out, got food, and got back to the hotel in about 15 min. without anyone noticing. Unfortunately I got chocolate, and as anyone can tell you once a kid eats candy they are going to want more.
So once again I told my roommate that I was going to get some food and I would be right back. However, once I got out of the hotel I couldn’t find the food shop again so I started wondering around and when I finally found the food store and got my snack (not candy this time) and returned to the place where I thought my hotel was there was only a bank and so I was lost.
So here I am, 13 years old, walking around a foreign country that I can barely speak or understand the language of, didn’t have cell phone or a number I could call, and didn’t know the name of the hotel. So after about 2 hours of wandering around I found the police and told them my story (in English and they understood enough of it) and I got in their car. The police then started driving me from hotel to hotel to see if it was the one I was staying at and during this time they brought to the one place 3 different times and every time I would say "this is not a hotel, this is a bank".
Well after an hour or so of the police driving me around from hotel to hotel, my teach notices that I am gone and calls the police who then call the car that I am in. So the police bring me back to my hotel and I get out of the car. Well I later learned that the bank that I walked to (also the bank that the police kept asking if it was my hotel) was the front part of my hotel but because I never saw the front when I first got to the hotel I never knew about it.

Marie The Avenger

Pre-Searing Cadet

Join Date: Mar 2010

W/Mo

18 Mar 2010 at 23:45 - 27

So there I was, sitting in the living room playing Guild Wars with my
boyfriend (Yes, I really am a girl). We were in the middle of doing
some quests in Nightfall when I noticed that my warrior was running very
sporadically while his was running smoothly. At first, I just figured
it was because my computer was a little slower than his. But after a
few more quests of the same situation, I decided to bring it up. He
told me that if it was my computer, that both of us would be running
smoothly or sporadically depending on the performance of the computer.
Then something popped into my head, maybe we were using different
controls to do the same thing. I asked him what controls he was using
to run around, and he said "WASD". With a baffled look on my face, I
asked him what a "WASD" was. He just stared at me for a few seconds,
and responded, "Uhh, the controls I use to run around. What are you
using?". I told him I was using my mouse and just clicking wherever I
wanted to go. He asked why. At this point, two other guys that were
friends of ours that were hanging out at the time looked at me just as
baffled as I had looked at my boyfriend. From one of them, I heard,
"You don't know WASD, and you've been playing Guild Wars for how long?".
I sheepishly replied, "about 3 years". At that point, my boyfriend
described what "WASD" was, and after giving it a whirl, navigation
around Guild Wars has been easy as pie ever since.

-Marie The Avenger (ING)

irundroks

Lion's Arch Merchant

Join Date: Mar 2008

I don't even know

Through The Eyes Of The Dragon

19 Mar 2010 at 02:00 - 28

So, we have a ski/snowboard club at our school. On our last trip, the most epic thing happened. There was this guy from our school who always went on a snowboard. Sometime after we started going down the slopes, he loses control and just keeps accelerating until BAM. He slams right into a fence. At this point, you'd expect him to be lying there and moaning, but no. The fence just shatters, and he just keeps on going! After he's taken to the hospital, they find that no bones were broken. So, he managed to break a fence yet not hurt himself in any way at all...

Best thing I could think of as of now.

IGN Chrono Inferno

Ronarc

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Apr 2007

The Fallen Templars

W/Mo

19 Mar 2010 at 05:22 - 29

The teacher in one of my ninth grade classes a few years ago was showing a copy of the Declaration of Independence to her students. It passed from desk
to desk and finally to Michael, a foreign student. He studied the document, then, before passing it on, he gravely added his own signature lol. I just stared in disbelief for a little while, until i processed what had just happened lol.

IGN: Ronarc The Hero

c3101429

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Sep 2009

KKO

R/E

19 Mar 2010 at 10:56 - 30

I was trying to impress a girl once who liked motorbikes. I had only riden one once or twice before but i was keen to impress her. I borrowed my friends bike,, i say bike, it was a very old pig 90 which was falling to pieces. I got on it and picked her up. Thsi bike was designed for the roads of the 1970's or something. We rode down this mudy trail near our houses which was covered in mud from the rain. there were loads of bikes around us all riding arond jumping ramps and stuff. i thought it would be good to jump it up a little ramp with her on the back. as soon as we hit the ramp, the back end shot forward. we landed in a wheelie riding dangerously close to crashing. i managed to start to pull the front end down just as we were about to go through a puddle.
as we hit the 'puddle' it swallowed the whole bike. the front end hit the front of the giant hole which we couldn't see pushing the back end down into the puddle. she was completely submerged under this muddy puddle with the weight of me and the bike on her. after a few seconds, i managed to get the weight of the bike off her and get her out. we fell on the floor laughing our heads off.
we decided i wasn't evil knieval and decided to go home. we didnt realise that petrol had started spitting out the bike. as we sat on the bike talking it was filling up my jeans with petrol. i kicked started the bike and threw my cig on the floor. my leg went straight up in flames. panicking, i threw the bike back in the puddle and followed it in myself. i literally laughed my arse off for 15 minutes.
so i walked her the 2 miles home with burnt jeans and broken pride. needless to say i didn't get the girl

Azure mist

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: May 2008

CAli

R/Mo

20 Mar 2010 at 00:20 - 31

My friend was in Urgoz and he teleported to a guy who thought he was the coolest person ever flashing cash who dropped q9 gold inscribable crystalline sword. my friend picked it up, the guy raged the group and we finished the dungeon he was so pumped about selling it that without knowing he merched the q9 gold insc crystalline sword while he was selling his crap dungeon drops. He merched this 400e+ sword and has never logged on since. xD

IGN: D e c a d e n c e

superraptors

Grotto Attendant

Join Date: Dec 2008

20 Mar 2010 at 02:32 - 32

a couple months back i went to set up a party for my mates sis. eventually stayed for a bit. at the end when everyone was leaving. one of the girls walked up 2 my car and asked what i was going to do later on. This was during around christmas eve or something. So i was going to a nearby carols festival later on. I told her that and she gave me some awkward look as if i was part of the choir or something and starts walking up to my mates car. I see her get in, then a couple of minutes later i was kicking myself for saying i was going to carols.

Just.nl

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Nov 2007

The Netherlands, Noord-Brabant

Mu-Tants [MU]

Me/

20 Mar 2010 at 08:03 - 33

A few months back i got my first FoW set. After lots of grinding and farming i finally got the cash for my FoWset. (Yes, it was hard for me to get one, since i cant keep my cash in my storage

). When i wanted to get my FoWset with a few guildies. They said there was an update. You have to get 105 Onyx Gemstones now also

. I tried to open my browser. But my browser didnt work, so i bought 105 Onyx and lend 51,5k to craft my armour. When i finally got there i bought my FoWset and checked my inventory! The Onyx Gemstones still where there

Finally the guy who told me gave my cash back and i gave the guy who i lend the cash from his cash back. And all ends good

~Xhaos was Just

whosyadaddy

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Mar 2010

kko

R/Mo

20 Mar 2010 at 11:46 - 34

I can beat all these hands down.
Me and my friend decided to leave the town where we lived to go and live by the sea. It was holiday season and he said he knew some people there who could get us a job. The only problem was we'd lost our job a few weeks back. I was down to my last £70 and he was almost pennyless. We went into town to buy a 2 man tent, that cost £40 and some general camping things-knife/tin-opener,beans-£3
we packed the necesary things into a couple of bags each and set off to the train station. I paid for a single for both of us, £6.50 each and we set off on our way.
when we arrived, we realised we didn't have any cigs so i bought some from the shop. we were another £3 down.
For those of you bad at maths, we were down to our last £11. Money didn't matter as we always found something to laugh about. We went to the camp site he knew and paid for one night as it was £8 a night.
we set up the tent and it started to rain on us.the stupidity of what we'd done dawned on us fast as it rained misery on us. our bags were soaked as it took too long to put the tent up. my friend, who always smiled at everything,was sat there looking miserable. this only made me laugh at him.
then we got hungry. we opened our bean with the crappy tin opener and realised that we didnt buy anything to cook it in. this made me laugh even more. i was in hysterics. my mate was getting madder which made me laugh more which made me laugh more.we did the only thing we could, we spent the rest of our money on cheap cider and drank away the pain.
in the morning, we set off to try and find somewhere to pitch the tent for for free. as we were walking around, a car pulled up. as it stopped the guy grabbed my arm and showed me his police id. he said that he thought we'd been involved in some robberies in the area. he took us back to our tent and emptied our bags onto the muddy field. i was more than annoyed at him as he left without even saying sorry. i could only laugh at it all. my friend was getting closer and closer to a breakdown which only made it funnier.
we went to have a wash and a shave. the water was cold which made us cut our faces shaving. we brushed our teeth and out on wet, dirty trousers and shirts and left to go and get a job.
I thought all our luck had changed when i saw a job for a potwasher. i went in to ask about it. the woman in charge looked at me,scanned up and down as if i had a third arm. she said, 'i don't think so, do you?!?' i told her i would be working in the back and no-one would see me so it would be ok. she opened the door signalling me to go out. i almost fell on the floor in laughter when i got out. i couldnt even get a job as a pot washer in the back.
to cut a long story short, we didn't get a job that day, we did see his friend who told us he also had no-where to stay. we agreed to let him sleep in our tent.
this would've been fine but he was about 20 foot tall. we went to the tent, which we had pitched in some nettles down a litle hill on the side of the road. as we got in we realised our mistake. there was no room for us and a 20 foot giant in a 2 man tent. he also ate loads of food. that night the rain came down hard. we were touching the sides of the tent so we got soaked, our stuff was completely soaked. we got no sleep. all i could do all night was laugh my head off at it all. that made mty friend madder and mader which made me laugh more at him.
in the morning,we were broken. his friend had left early and we decided to leave. we were going to walk home-about 100 miles. our luck finally changed. we saw someone i used to go to school with. what are the odds. we got home and all our friends took the pee as we told them we'd see them in a few months.
i still laugh everytime i think about this.

joely b

Pre-Searing Cadet

Join Date: Nov 2007

GREAT Britain

[EMP]

20 Mar 2010 at 13:29 - 35

A buddy of mine worked for about two years for this pizza place in town and eventually worked his way up to the level of shift supervisor there, and among the responsibilities of the shift supervisor was to dispose of the bad pizza dough once it had fermented and wasn't good anymore and whatever. So, first time he has to do this, I'm there with him as he ends his shift and he looks to me as he's dragging out literally hundreds of pounds of pizza dough here and he goes, "You know what, I think we could do something with this."

I look at him like he's a ****ing idiot and proceed to say, "**** yeah, let's take it."

So he and I both muster up our strength to grab this ****ing mountain of dough in a huge plastic bag and deposit it in the back of his Jeep. We get back to his house and his mom's immediate reaction is, "You guys are morons. Dispose of that, seriously." Of course, we could have just driven back to the big dumpster behind the pizza place to get rid of it, but that would have necessitated driving a good ways back and he didn't wanna waste the gas in his car. So what do we decide to do in lieu of that solution? Bury it in my back yard. Now you have to understand here, my back yard was basically a giant wooded area and then a pond (My house is elevated up above this and there's a hill that leads down to this stuff). So we get out our shovels and dig this big ass trench and toss the dough inside. We cover it up, dust our hands off and say "Well that's the end of that." and go on our way.

Guess what happens when you bury pizza dough in the moist soil of a person's back yard over night.

It rises.

A lot.

I wake up the next morning, glance outside my window, yell out "HOLY ****." and immediately give him a call. We buried this **** two feet beneath the ground and it had risen two feet above it by morning time (And it had expanded in area by quite a bit, too - we're talking like 5-6 feet diameter here). We go down there and this giant ****ing dough bubble is exploding out of my backyard and no less than five white-tailed deer are sitting there munching on it. We ended up having to get another friend's dad to come along with a ****ing bobcat to get rid of the thing and that only half-assed the job. Easily the dumbest thing ever done.

So now whenever anyone among my friends says, "That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard." one of us is obligated to reply, "I don't know, there's a few hundred pounds of pizza dough buried in Joely's backyard that says otherwise."

IGN: Joely B

dawe92

Pre-Searing Cadet

Join Date: Mar 2010

Kiss

A/E

20 Mar 2010 at 13:35 - 36

Hi the story im about to tell you guys is 100% real. It's not really a funny story it's more of a scarry one. I hope it will pass ut expectations anyway. And im sorry if my english isen't perfect. This story happend last week. I were at the police station for filing a report on my lost cellphone when two policemen and a young women came in to the police station ( the young women looked really frightened when she came in to the police station). From the beggining I werent really taking notice to what they were saying, but as i had nothing to do while w8ing for the old lady infront of me to finish I started to listen to them. Apparently the young women had been followed bye someone while driving her car. Well as the story started to intresst me i keept on listening. She had been on her way to her father's house. As her father lived on the country side her in france she had to take some small roads that went threw an old forrest. Half way in to the forrest she had to stop beacuse there were a small tree that had fallen down on the road. Well she got out to move some of the branches to make a small passage to get her vehicule threw. Meanwhile another person arrives behind her. Just when the young women enters her vehicule.The man behind her starts sounding the horn using hes lights of the car and soo on. Well the young women dosent understand wht he wants, and thinks that he wants to pass. So she drives her car to the side of the road to let him pass, but he dosent and he continues to sounding the horn and flashing the light. Well she gets a bit scarred and think that she is followed, so she calls her dad to tell him to call the police beacuse there is some weired guy following her. Her dad calls the police and when the young women arrives to her dad's house the man behind her allso stops. The policemen tells the man to get out of his vehicule and they asking him why he has been followin the women. The man tells that police that he saw a man entering the trunk of the young womens car.
Well the police goes over to the young womens car and opens the trunk. And as promised inside the police finds a 40yr old man with and axe. The asks the man to get out and afterwords at the staion the ask him what he was doing there, He told them that he just wanted a lift to the next village. 4 days afterwards they find out that the man in the trunk was a mentaly disturb man that had escaped from a psychiatric prison not far from the forrest were he encountered he yong women..Kinda sick that the guy that saves the women from the begging was the suspect. And if u think about it if the guy hadent followed her the man whit axe had been all alone whit the dad and the women when se arrived..Im happy that no one got hurt, but the young women still cant enter her car because she is to scarred

IGN: THE_DEAMON_KI

brody1

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Dec 2007

live in australia :)

Luxon All Stars

21 Mar 2010 at 07:15 - 37

There are two stories that stand out for me...

One time in class, there was a goofy, tall student called Alex Baird.
We had a substitue that day and she had no idea how to "control" us.
so she was marking the role....we all answered to alex baird.
She handed out the work...we all wrote alex baird on it....she
then asked each of us individually our real name and yes we persisted with
Alex baird. Until it got to the last person she asked, the Real Alex Baird.
"SO, WHAT is your NAME!?"
"Alex baird miss...."
"AAAAARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH I CANT ELIEVE YOU WOULD CONFORM TO
THIS MOB SENSE OF TORTURE"
she then left. and never tought us again.

On another school happening,
once upon a time there was this really mean science teacher
who hid her cigarettes in teh science room.
We were testing sollubility of alot of different things...
one of them being some dangerous acid, if you drink it
atleast.
So this nasty teacher leaves the room and out comes the noise
then some1 dares the class idiot to put acid in her coffe...
he does..and we all coudlnt really believe it for awhile.
She marched straight back in with her commanding strut,
drank her 'teachers only' coffe.
and well, that knocked her right of her high horse.
She made a funny face...after a few seconds realising.
Then she started to look like she was channeling all the nightmares
of hell. She ran out of the room...i thought to get medical attention.
but her personality dictated otherwise, she got the head teacher
to come back with ehr to the class to witness the loudest
screamfest possibly of all time.

Skeletor Il

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Feb 2009

21 Mar 2010 at 18:40 - 38

I find this story funny, it wasnt so funny at the time but still, I'll keep it short

I went to Tescos for a family shop, and down the sporting isle I got the hick-ups (which I really, really hate) and usually, I hold my breath to get them away. So, this was no exception, and I held my breath whilst staring at different thing to try and take my mind of the hick-ups. Looking at the weights was the last thing I remember of my hick-ups before I blacked-out!! I had fiented because I held my breath for to long, gashed my leg open on a rail, and smacked my head on the store floor. When I woke up, all I could hear was screaming from my mum and sister, with my mum shouting something about my eyes rolling back. The store manager arrived and closed off the isle, and offered my some coke-cola

> when he turned up with the coke, I got one sip before my sister grabbed it off me and downed it haha. I still laugh at it even now every time I think about it

- hope you liked it heh

Cheers for the contest, IGN: Skeletor Il (skeletor il).

WNxCarrion7

Pre-Searing Cadet

Join Date: Mar 2010

Warrior Nation

22 Mar 2010 at 05:20 - 39

True story, from a News Report which was on TV, I believe this was before the Internet, but I'm not entirely sure. Anyways,

There was a bus driver driving 10 insane people from a psychiatric ward to another. Anyways, because they're insane (and yes insane as in the legal term), he decides to go to a bar, grab an alcoholic drink and some nuts. He comes back, only to see that the 10 people are missing. So, he goes to the nearest bus stop, and says he'll give 10 people a free ride, but instead delivers them to the psychiatric ward that he was supposed to go to.

Then, he reports to the authorities at the psychiatric ward that he's delivering people who have delusional ideas about escaping to a fantasy world. They take the 10 "normal" people and lock them up. This was never found out about for 3 days, and it was only figured out when one of the family members of the 10 normal people called in about their missing friend.

PM me for my IGN if I win, I don't like to give it away in public.

ValaOfTheFens

Jungle Guide

Join Date: Sep 2006

Warrior Nation[WN]

24 Mar 2010 at 15:21 - 40

lolz at my guildie above me!

I work at an afterschool program that primarily services the immigrant population of my city. Oft times the kids have a tenuous grasp of English and American culture and so alot of funny situations develop. Last year I was the kindergarten guru and so I was in charge of their table. I was trying to get one of the kids to stop standing on his chair when he grabbed my boobs and shouted "Titties!". It took everything I had not to burst out laughing then and there. I mumbled something about telling his mom and ran off to the kitchen so I could laugh. I did have to tell his mom and when she asked him about it he pretended that he didn't know what that word meant. ^_^

My IGN is ValaOfTheFens