Contest Winners! Top 10 List for Factions - Guild Wars Guru archive powered by Guild Wars Legacy

Inde

Site Contributor

Join Date: Dec 2004

08 May 2006 at 18:14 - 1

Contest Winners in Guild Wars Guru Top 10 List for Factions -

GRAND PRIZE WINNER: Mr Wolfmaster

Top 10 things to say to the cashier while paying for factions:

I'm short $10 do you accept ecto?
Can you give me a run to the toy deparment after I pay for this? I'll pay $5 at hardware and another $5 when we get there.
Hang on, my money is in storage.
Here's 50 dollers (hands cashier a 5 dollor bill) hurry ACCEPT ACCEPT ACCEPT!
Hey are you ranked? I'm starting a R3 plus plus plus plus plus plus plus iway group, emote at service desk!
Awww you don't have the factions strategy guide in stock? Could you PM me when you get it in?
I don't usually buy from the merchant, but I can't find anyone else selling factions.
I like your outfit, is it fissure or 15k?
I'll take paper so I can salvage it for parchment later.
Can I borrow that intercom? I need to start recruiting for my guild.

RUNNER-UP WINNER: Jedediah Strong

Top 10 Personality/Physical Traits of a Guild Wars Factions Junkie:

Currently owns at least three active Guild Wars accounts in order to get all new Factions Armor for every primary profession without having to delete anyone.
Has a recently discovered fondness for giant sea turtles.
Had the diamonds in all their jewelry replaced with jade and believe that the "Petrified Forest" in Arizona should be officially re-designated as a holy shrine.
Turned down an offer of 30K in gold, twice, for that green Ogre Slaying Knife with the really low stats they got in Tombs because they believe it may magically become more valuable after Factions goes live.
Has developed a gastric ulcer and is combating high blood pressure due to the stress from trying to decide which faction to side with...Luxon or Kurzick?
Was more than willing to call in sick two days in a row (even though that BIG presentation was due to Corporate) in order to spend time with a Guildmate mapping out an exact plan on how to get their Ranger/Ritualists a pet Black Moa during the 24 hour "pre-release" period in order to be the first ones to have one after retail.
Have been to the emergency room six times for injuries received from walking and running headlong into stationary objects while wearing their Ritualists "eye-covering headgear" because they want to learn how to be "more in touch with nature".
Submitted a formal request to the Food and Drug Administration to have Red Bull, Twinkies, and coffee added to the "food pyramid".
Believe that by invading, occupying, and setting up "camp" in their neighbors backyard and "holding" it for a designated time period that they have thus demonstrated "ownership" and can officially expand their property lines until such time as the neighbor can "retake" said territory.
Has an actual map of the continent of Cantha permanently tattooed on their back, which they plan to have updated on a regular basis as more of the new land is explored and the details are revealed to them. Really.

EDIT: Please feel free to post yours! Even if it wasn't a winner I can tell you that it was great to read through all the entries and see your creativity (yes even the inappropriate ones... you know who you are :P)

Big Tony

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Feb 2006

Currently guildless

08 May 2006 at 18:20 - 2

lol...congrats on winning guys!

Xyzer

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Jan 2006

Netherlands!

[Lm] Like Minds

N/Me

08 May 2006 at 18:23 - 3

They really deserve it, nice work, congrats!

Sorceress_Edeaaaa

Pre-Searing Cadet

Join Date: May 2006

Oklahoma

Ultimate New Order [UNO]

E/Mo

08 May 2006 at 18:24 - 4

yes, big CONGRATS to the winners!! They are hilarious!

Tobias Funke

Lion's Arch Merchant

Join Date: Mar 2006

The Following of Xanthar

Me/N

08 May 2006 at 18:25 - 5

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inde

9: Believe that by invading, occupying, and setting up "camp" in their neighbors backyard and "holding" it for a designated time period that they have thus demonstrated "ownership" and can officially expand their property lines until such time as the neighbor can "retake" said territory.
[/LIST]

This is actually true. I just finished a course in property in law school and this is called adverse possession. If you occupy and use someone else's property for a specified period of time and they do nothing to take it back, it eventually becomes yours. Of course the period of time you have to hold it before they try to kick you is usually 15-20 years; so its practically impossible to do.

Diablo???

Forge Runner

Join Date: Jun 2005

Seattle

SPQR

N/R

08 May 2006 at 18:26 - 6

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inde

[*]Here's 50 dollers (hands cashier a 5 dollor bill) hurry ACCEPT ACCEPT ACCEPT!

That alone, is a winner.

healthsoldier0570

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: May 2006

Crystal Desert.

Mo/W

08 May 2006 at 18:27 - 7

Yes, they are fairly entertaining...

Jedediah Strong

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Apr 2006

Knights of Destruction

W/E

08 May 2006 at 18:44 - 8

Thanks for the kudos.

It was fun. I never win anything, so this is too cool.

Thanks GWGuru......great contests and really cool prizes. Thanks to the sponsors as well.

Gotta run, I have a new area to add to my tattoo. lol

zhai

Academy Page

Join Date: Dec 2005

Poland

The Witchers

R/Me

08 May 2006 at 19:00 - 9

Hey, gwguru, plz publish other entries. Or ppl, post yours!

Top 10 "Said before death:"
1. Shiro is easy, let me tank him.
2. We have a dragon, what can heppen?
3. Ha ha - unranked Guild - free factions coming.
4. Ok, relax ppl, it's last mob.
5. Frenzy!
6. Omg, that's best Kurzicks' party ever!
7. We own u koreans!
8. Why only noobs are playing by Luxons?
9. Kurzicks FTW! / For Kurzicks!
10. I'm pro runner.

Congrats to winners

/bow

sh4ft3d

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Oct 2005

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...

Frank Ought To Monk [FotM]

W/

08 May 2006 at 19:13 - 10

Nice.... My top 10 was the reasons to update A.I. (I made it before update

!!!!!!!!! so i didn't expect to win :/ )

Dart

Academy Page

Join Date: Oct 2005

Cantha

Prior Planning Prevents P*ss Poor Performance

R/Me

08 May 2006 at 19:16 - 11

Zhai that was hilarious - good idea...let's see others ha ha - congrats to the winners

edited for sp

Eviance

Desert Nomad

Join Date: Nov 2005

Eh I forget... o_O

Biscuit of Dewm [MEEP]

R/

08 May 2006 at 19:41 - 12

Quote:

Originally Posted by zhai

Top 10 "Said before death:"

3. Ha ha - unranked Guild - free factions coming.

Or just as well RANK 9,998 GUILD! - Free Faction/ easy win!

(My guild has heard that one before... we didn't die to easy >_> BEST BATTLE EVER!)

ANyways great job guys those were wonderful! Congrats!

Mr Wolfmaster

Academy Page

Join Date: Sep 2005

Hurricane Katrina Relief fund [Give]

Mo/

08 May 2006 at 19:57 - 13

Thanks for the comments everyone, been a blast writing and of course winning. I'm about as excited to see my top 10 posted as I was when I found out I won.

Tryll

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Sep 2005

Scotland

[DS]

08 May 2006 at 20:14 - 14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inde

[*]Here's 50 dollers (hands cashier a 5 dollor bill) hurry ACCEPT ACCEPT ACCEPT!

Made me laugh out loud. Genius.

Congrats to you both.

Frantic-Sheep

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Apr 2006

Putting The Cute In Electrocute [ZZAP]

Mo/Me

08 May 2006 at 20:20 - 15

Haha very nice ^_^ Congratz!

Woutsie

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Jul 2005

Belgium

08 May 2006 at 20:25 - 16

Congrats

Sir Skullcrasher

Furnace Stoker

Join Date: Jun 2005

California

15 over 50 [Rare]

W/Mo

08 May 2006 at 20:52 - 17

You didn't know Gwen is a ultra secret character that you can unlock when you got rank 100?

congrat to the winner!

actionjack

Furnace Stoker

Join Date: Oct 2005

Kali

W/E

08 May 2006 at 21:05 - 18

Awww.. I didn't win... me jealous....<

here is my entry...
----------------------------------------------
Top 10 Reasons for Nika's "Lump"

10) They are just folds of the leather, really!

9) There are some daggers in there.

8) Air holes.

7) It's a cold day in Canthra.

6) Hey, if it will help sell more games.

5) She is trying for the title of the next Sexy Video Game Babe of the Year.

4) She is a Flower Child.

3) Give her all the more reasons to kill them ogling drooling Pigs!

2) The A.net Devs and Artists are all 30 year old single men.

1) Cause she knows I will be playing her all night long!

pbspectre

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Oct 2005

Oral's Chosen

W/Mo

08 May 2006 at 21:08 - 19

lol...nice entries...here's mine:

Reasons to buy GW:Factions

- If you don’t, you’ll miss out on that “New Game Smell”

- Because the Assassin’s ectomorphic body model is a more realistic depiction of an athletic female body......and the ritualist has huge cans...

- so, if a warrior/monk is a wa/mo, and a mesmer/monk is a mes/mo, what's an assassin/monk?...

- This time, you won’t have to trudge through the snow following some uber-n00b with a FDS and an authority complex.....and no Rurik either!!

- Lots of new places for people to meet, form groups, and /dance naked for tips...

- Because, with the new Tengu henchman, you can take that ooooh so entertaining “bird bark” with you everywhere you go...

- Help the Hippies kill the Goths or help the Goths kill the Hippies...either way ya can’t lose...

- Because there really aren’t enough kids running around dressed all in black, living in dark places, and listening to depressing music...

- 83(4I_I$3, !ph j00 [)0|\|’7, |-|0\/\/ \/\/!|_|_ j00 |<|\|0\/\/ \/\/|-|47's 1337?!?11!?eleven!!1?

- Because, if you don’t, it means the terrorists have won...

Vinsanity

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Jun 2005

btwn heaven & hell

Clan iSo [iSo]

08 May 2006 at 21:12 - 20

congrats!

RandomEngy

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Jun 2005

The Kansas City Hotsteppers [KCHS]

P/

08 May 2006 at 21:47 - 21

Cool stuff. I was kicking around ideas for a "Top 10 discarded profession ideas" list but I never really got around to working on it.

Lepton CFd

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: May 2006

Pantheon of Shadows [dei]

Mo/Me

08 May 2006 at 22:00 - 22

[QUOTE=pbspectre]83(4I_I$3, !ph j00 [)0|\|’7, |-|0\/\/ \/\/!|_|_ j00 |<|\|0\/\/ \/\/|-|47's 1337?!?11!?eleven!!1?[QUOTE]

Hahahahah, nice one

Congrats to the winners!!!

Bowman Artemis

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Jan 2006

Gold Coast, Australia.

Overclockers Australia [OCAU]

08 May 2006 at 23:29 - 23

Quote:

Originally Posted by pbspectre

- 83(4I_I$3, !ph j00 [)0|\|’7, |-|0\/\/ \/\/!|_|_ j00 |<|\|0\/\/ \/\/|-|47's 1337?!?11!?eleven!!1?

The sad thing is, I read that easily.

Mine:

Top 10 Guild Wars Factions Facts (Derived from various in-game and fansite forum chat)
NOTE: May not be completely accurate.

1. Kurziks will be outnumbered by Luxons.
2. Luxons will be outnumbered by Kurziks.
3. OmG Lux0nz r teh 3m0 g07hz.
4. Kurziks go "yarr".
5. Collectors edition will have an extra character slot, omg.
6. Factions is really called fractions. (?)
7. Factions is an expansion, not a new game nubs.
8. Factions is a new game, not an expansion nubs.
9. Faction, not factions. N00b.
10. OMGNINJA!!!

makosi

Grotto Attendant

Join Date: Mar 2006

"Pre-nerf" is incorrect. It's pre-buff.

Requirement Begins With R [notQ]

Me/

08 May 2006 at 23:37 - 24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowman Artemis

1. Kurziks will be outnumbered by Luxons.
2. Luxons will be outnumbered by Kurziks.
3. OmG Lux0nz r teh 3m0 g07hz.
4. Kurziks go "yarr".
5. Collectors edition will have an extra character slot, omg.
6. Factions is really called fractions. (?)
7. Factions is an expansion, not a new game nubs.
8. Factions is a new game, not an expansion nubs.
9. Faction, not factions. N00b.
10. OMGNINJA!!!

Despite the self-contradiction, they're all true!

MSecorsky

Furnace Stoker

Join Date: Jun 2005

So Cal

The Sinister Vanguard

Me/

08 May 2006 at 23:48 - 25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowman Artemis

The sad thing is, I read that easily.

If you'd care to share the translation I'd appreciate it...

HOMIE_G64

Academy Page

Join Date: Apr 2005

Recruit Meh!

W/E

08 May 2006 at 23:53 - 26

LOL!!! And I thought mine was good...

TheLordOfBlah

Jungle Guide

Join Date: Jan 2006

California

None

Mo/N

09 May 2006 at 00:33 - 27

- 83(4I_I$3, !ph j00 [)0|\|’7, |-|0\/\/ \/\/!|_|_ j00 |<|\|0\/\/ \/\/|-|47's 1337?!?11!?eleven!!1?

TRANSLATION: because if you dont, how will you know whats leet?!?11!?eleven!!1?

The Ice Master

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Jul 2005

We Step On Puppies [PuP]

E/Me

09 May 2006 at 00:57 - 28

Mine was too depressing to win...

Top 10 things to do after buying factions
10. Be thankful that you have a copy by drinking your favorite drink.
9. Frantically open the box, and wrip the access key pamphlet open.
8. Fumble around on your keyboard trying to put in the code; it finally works on the fourth try
7. Log your character in, run to Lion's Arch and start screaming "I have factions! I have factions! Hooray!"
6. Try to do some random arenas with an assassin or ritualist; get owned by one of the six core professions
5. Ask your guild for some PvE help, only to find out they started playing four hours ago and are two missions ahead of you.
4. Make a new Roleplaying Character, and start screaming that the instructor is moving too slow, for you of course are a Guild Wars veteran who is way too good for this n00b stuff.
3. Run over to Guild Wars Guru forums with your latest ideas, and make a post -- only to find out that there are 7 other threads just like it.
2. Get slaughtered in a Pick Up Group for the first 'level 20' mission.
1. Drink some more of that drink you drank earlier.

LordDeArnise

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Jan 2006

California, USA

The Elite Knights of Tarnia [PwnD]

09 May 2006 at 00:57 - 29

The winner should go on Dave Letterman, because that list is as funny as hell.

Autumn_Leaf

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Jul 2005

Taunton, Mass.

09 May 2006 at 02:00 - 30

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheLordOfBlah

- 83(4I_I$3, !ph j00 [)0|\|’7, |-|0\/\/ \/\/!|_|_ j00 |<|\|0\/\/ \/\/|-|47's 1337?!?11!?eleven!!1?

TRANSLATION: because if you dont, how will you know whats leet?!?11!?eleven!!1?

how the hell did u know???!?!?!?

is this a secret language or something

Bowman Artemis

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Jan 2006

Gold Coast, Australia.

Overclockers Australia [OCAU]

09 May 2006 at 02:08 - 31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Autumn_Leaf

how the hell did u know???!?!?!?

is this a secret language or something

It's commonly known as 1337speak, leetspeek, 13375p34k or variants of that, however what was used was an even more intense version known as AOLer.

Here's a quick guide to the most common versions. I know I'm missing a few letters for AOLer. Specifically ones that include more than one symbol.

AOLer (often used in conjunction with leet):

\/\/ = W
\/ = V
I_ or |_ = L
I_I or |_| = U
$ = S
+ = t
( = C
! = i

Leet:

1 = L or I
2 = Z (not commonly used)
3 = E
4 = A
5 = S
6 = b (some people exclude 6 or use 8 instead)
7 = T
8 = B
9 = g
0 = O

Word substitutions:

U = you.
R = Are.
1337 = Leet = Elite
nub = n00b = Noob (not to be confused with Newb, a n00b is essentially a troll. They live only to irritate and insult, often badly.)
Newb = Newbie (not to be confused with n00b, a newbie is someone new to a game, who wants to learn.)
j00 = You
teh = the (supposedly grew from an intentional misspelling.)
zor = suffix, often added to 1337 and combined with bad spelling (teh, nub, u, r, j00 etc.) to show sarcasm.

MMSDome

Raged Out

Join Date: Sep 2005

09 May 2006 at 02:12 - 32

lol nice and congrats.

PS: Thanks for posting the leet alphabet

pbspectre

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Oct 2005

Oral's Chosen

W/Mo

09 May 2006 at 02:47 - 33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Autumn_Leaf

how the hell did u know???!?!?!?

is this a secret language or something

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leet_speak

ange1

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Aug 2005

Mo/

09 May 2006 at 02:53 - 34

Top 10 Chuck Norris Faction Facts.

1. Chuck Norris' tears give party god mode for 10 seconds, too bad he still cannot /cry.
2. Shiro once fought Chuck Norris in a dual; he is now closer to the stars, because Chuck round-house kicked him all the way to the sun.
3. Chuck Norris is so evil; Balthazaar is too scared to ask for 1 platinum when chuck wanted to get his fow armor.
4. Chuck Norris is so good at dancing, he beat male ritualist at a dance off. All others competing forfeited after the first dance off.
5. Chuck Norris is now the richest person in guild wars. He started gw gym, and turned all his members into stick figures, aka, assassins.
6. Chuck Norris counts to infinity every time he tries to arrange a scrimmage. There's no worthy opponent when the chuck is here.
7. Chuck Norris rage quit factions within 20 seconds, he found out his two names were already taken by prophecy characters. Second choice was the pink power ranger.
8. If Chuck Norris is a boss in factions, no one would ever find out what green he drops. My guess is the Chuck Norris beard, okay okay I better start running.
9. Chuck Norris finished factions 30 minutes before everyone else. He didn't have to stand there and listen to instructor Ng's lecture; instead he gave Ng a lecture alright, all because he thought Ng was copying his style. He gave Ng a quick woop arse, then said, you cannot handle the Chuck.
10. When Chuck Norris wanted to be closer to the stars. All he had to do was round-house kick the ground he stands on, and it send him right among the starts faster than the speed of light, hence he also made the first contact. That is why faction monsters all look like aliens.

Chilly Ress

Jungle Guide

Join Date: Oct 2005

Kinetic Fusion [kF]

Me/

09 May 2006 at 02:58 - 35

thats so sad, leet speak is in wikipedia. what has western civilization come to??!!!11one!!eleven!!!???????

ManadartheHealer

Desert Nomad

Join Date: May 2005

Awaiting GW2

W/

09 May 2006 at 03:47 - 36

Quote:

Originally Posted by pbspectre

- This time, you won’t have to trudge through the snow following some uber-n00b with a FDS and an authority complex.....and no Rurik either!!

For some reason, I couldn't stop laughing after I read that one

pbspectre

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Oct 2005

Oral's Chosen

W/Mo

09 May 2006 at 13:19 - 37

Quote:

Originally Posted by ManadartheHealer

For some reason, I couldn't stop laughing after I read that one

ty

Venomios

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Oct 2005

Guilds are like underwear. Change often or it gets stale fast.

N/Mo

10 May 2006 at 02:23 - 38

Top 10 reasons to play as an assassin in Guild Wars Factions

10. Shadowstep allows you to a quick bathroom break without losing step in battle.

9. Ginsu dice you enemies and still perfectly slice a tomato.

8. Forget knives... grab a sharpie and draw moustaches on you enemies and disappear into the shadows!

7. Would you rather be a Ritualist? Those hippies wear lampshades on their heads for cryin' out loud!

6. Prove your agility by not falling over when you run, even though you look like you'd topple any moment.

5. You get to do the robot. C'mon... it's the freakin' robot! How cool is that?!

4. Combo three attacks that do as much damage as ONE hammer attack.

3. Female assassins can infiltrate any area by slipping under doors and between cracks. They are so thin, that they turn sidewise to disappear.

2. Your armor looks like a Henckels Cutlery catalog.

1. You get to use the word "ass" twice everytime you say "assassin" and no one can yell at you for bad language!

Jedediah Strong

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Apr 2006

Knights of Destruction

W/E

10 May 2006 at 12:38 - 39

Quote:

Originally Posted by Venomios

Top 10 reasons to play as an assassin in Guild Wars Factions

10. Shadowstep allows you to a quick bathroom break without losing step in battle.

9. Ginsu dice you enemies and still perfectly slice a tomato.

8. Forget knives... grab a sharpie and draw moustaches on you enemies and disappear into the shadows!

7. Would you rather be a Ritualist? Those hippies wear lampshades on their heads for cryin' out loud!

6. Prove your agility by not falling over when you run, even though you look like you'd topple any moment.

5. You get to do the robot. C'mon... it's the freakin' robot! How cool is that?!

4. Combo three attacks that do as much damage as ONE hammer attack.

3. Female assassins can infiltrate any area by slipping under doors and between cracks. They are so thin, that they turn sidewise to disappear.

2. Your armor looks like a Henckels Cutlery catalog.

1. You get to use the word "ass" twice everytime you say "assassin" and no one can yell at you for bad language!

When I read some of these entries (especially this one)....I feel even luckier to have won anything. This is freakin' FUNNY!!! Especially numbers 6, 5, and 1. Nice work.

Mr Urthadar

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Mar 2006

Fugitives of Kurzick

W/

10 May 2006 at 14:52 - 40

Here was my entry... Obviously they did not read it, or I would have won...

Top Ten Things To Do Once Your Spouse Finally Leaves You Because of Factions

10. Go outside. The sunlight will hurt at first, but you'll need to be less
pasty. This is required for your assimilation with society.

9. Bathe. Your hygiene has faltered because of Guild Wars, practice hygiene
with this skillbar - Cleansing Was Dove, Refreshing Was Crest,
Painful Was Listerine, Clean Was New Underwear.

8. Stalk your ex. They've left you ... You might as well dress up like an
assassin and shadow her wherever you go. [If you're a lady who will be
dressing like an assassin, please email me your pics] Bring a friend so
that you can use your Recall skill, if she sees you!

7. Train. No, not a choo-choo. And no, I don't mean train for the GWWC.
Lift weights and run. Item 8 above will benefit from this.

6. Become a drunkard. "What?! You can't train, be an assassin, and a
drunk!" I hear you say. However, recall that Brad Wong, from Dead Or
Alive 3 was a great fighter and a drunk. So, we *know* this is possible!

5. Attend "Gentlemen" clubs regularly. You're accustomed to seeing large
bosoms in GW, why not see it in real life! A sure fire way to attract
the lady's attention is to yell out, "Hey, Cynn, throw an enervating charge
on me, Baby!"

4. Get Tattoos. They look cool on your monks and necros. Why not get a vile
scar pattern for yourself? The performers at the "Gentlemen" clubs will
certainly respond better to you if you have ink.

3. Build a guild hall. "What? Only the wealthy can do that!" Not true!
With enough imagination, and ummm cardboard boxes, you too can have
Wizard's Isle in your backyard. However, be warned, some people will not
understand why you are building the Isle, except for the local neighborhood
kids. And we've all learned that `brats' ruin GW, so keep them out of your
hall!

2. GvG at the mall! People dress up like Pac-Man and play Pac-Man in the
neighborhood of big cities. You just need to find 15 other souls in your
current predicament. But for God's sake, make sure they use TS, or you're
doomed!

1. Count down the days until Chapter 3!