N00b Stories

I'm hoping that this is not a duplicate thread (I can't find anything like it though). We all have those great stories about those fiendish GW beings known as n00bs.

First off let me explain something. There is a difference between a n00b and a newb. A newb is somebody who is new to the game. We all are at some point. No bg dea. A n00b, on the other hand, is someone who is new to the game and also refuses to listen to more experience players trying to help them, are selfish and annoying about their new character's poverty, or are just plain stupid.

Now, I invite you to share your favorite n00b stories (almost everyone has to have one). I ask only that you leave the name of the "n00b" out, because there is a chance that one day the n00b will in fact cease to be a n00b.

Second post deleted and copied here. Double post.

Of course, being a noob or pretending to be a noob, can have it's advantages. Read on...

I advertised in Augury rock that i would run people to dunes for free.
I got 5 immediate responses.
The fifth response was like this

"Wow, you really must have no life to be doing it for free"

I took my team to dunes and logged back in with my other character.

I found this person who was charging 500 gold per person to go to dunes and i joined his group. He didnt know that he insulted me 10 minutes previously, let alone the fact that i had a malicious plan for revenge.

Anyway, off we went.

I could tell immediately that he was taking the northern approach (more deadly) and this just boosted my excitement for my cunning plan.

As he dodged the drakes, jades, griffons, sand ele's and dreaded wurms, i weaved my way towards to thin alleyway through which he had to go. Was it my fault i did my own weaving and "accidentally" pulled more mobs than he would appreciate? No, of course not.

"Stop stop" he shouted.
"No you idiot, just die!" he yelled.
"You're screwing up the run" screamed the only anxious passenger of his. (hehe, thanks for letting me know i'm achieving my plan)

I did as he said, i stopped. and died...just happened to be in the alleyway through which he planned to go.

What happened next? Of course...all the mobs set on the runner and killed him through his godly armour in 5 seconds flat.

When i stopped laughing, wiping the tears from my eyes, i could see that we ressed at dunes anyway.

I paid him the 500 gold and sent him a message.....

"Wow, you must really have no life to be charging people"

So, what lesson did i teach him? Mind your own business.

One less person in the desert sending malicious whispers and one more in my ignore list.
For being a first time aggro noob, i would say i did a damn good job!

Everyone's had a moment of this...

The idiot who doesn't listen to directions.

Ooooh yeah. Like in Fissure of Woe, doing to Wailing Lord quest, you don't cross the bridge, because you can't hit the Wailing Lord, right?

You KNOW there's bound to be someone who ignores the triple-stated "don't cross the bridge" warning and spoils it all. I've had that one happen...

Or the guy pre-searing who can't comprehend opening the gate for Across the Wall... he just stands there after I tell him I will pull the lever, and he goes through the gate.

Why are people incapable of following directions?

Oh, and one more to scratch your heads to: The runner who doesn't know the way. That's right... the guy was charging people to run them to Grendich Courthouse (I was lazy, so I joined), and as soon as we stepped out into Old Ascalon from Ascalon City, he asked where the Courthouse was. Thankfully, I was only out 200 gold.

you filthy little scammer you!

I paid a ranger runner to run my baby warrior to yaks bend a while back.

He got lost (like tarot mentioned) and eventually died before quitting.

If i wasn't so rich, i would have sent him a message saying "wheres my money?" but imagining his embarrasment upon death was a nice trade.

You can delete/edit your own posts, ya know.

Standard, please stop trolling. This is your last warning.

To Doomlord, although I'm personally not fond of these types of topics, since they always seem to end in flame wars.. a search for "newbie" in this forum pulls up quite a few results. Try this one:

http://www.guildwarsguru.com/forum/s...ad.php?t=31681

Aria, that first post in that link nearly made me go blind.

That thread is rather different. In fact, its just some people ranting about rather random things.

And yeah, I can see this thread going down in a gigantic flame war, but I hope that doesn't happen. Depends on whether or not some very determined trolls find it.

Of course, a good forum admin can prevent that.

Ve haf eyes everee-vere....*insert evil laugh*

Running to dunes can be very hard if you go the wrong way or incredibly easy and you just have to kill like 2 griffons and run past 4 enchanted to the portal.

*check out all those transporters ppl* they make life easier

^^
I know my E/Mo can run it with 2-3 skills and be about 90% sucessful with only 1 place giving me any problems. People use the transporters and the Arid Sea it is so much quicker and easier.

I went to the arena today on an R/Me to use Illusionary Weaponry with a bow. Nuff said.

You wouldn't believe how often when I try to give stuff away for free people message me asking if its really free. I'm not sure whats so hard to understand about: 'unid major necro rune, free to first person who trades with me' but apperently many people have problems with it.

Speaking of unid majors... well, for your mental health you don't want to know the kinds of questions I got when I was selling unid majors some time before the rune trader. Tuna: selling unid majors, every class. Nub: do you have healing prayers?

I have little patience for selling stuff in the first place so the trash I got trying to sell my runes was to much and I gave a guy in my guild about 80 major/sup runes that were clogging my inventory

hey kuramaroze i thought u can use illusuinary weaponry only on melee atcks?

^^
His noob moment (not understanding anothers noob moment.

Third time elona, (i was the healer) i tried to carry the crystal.

First time Nolani, noone in the party higher than 8: Man, was i wondering why one guy was screaming "Nooooo dont." while I just thought: "Hmmmm, a nice little lever thingy... this is an rpg so we better activate every freakin switch we come across."

i went to UW, packed "Charm Animal" and as it seemed, a few moments later, a level 6 lizard.

after figuring out balth spirit i want to show off my ubar tanking abilities to the group. so after a short discussion i go off and pick a jade scarab.

everytime i start a new char, i do NOT attack the pre-sear stone elementals, hoping their bigger brothers will remember and be nice to me post searing. It never worked. but i will never stop trying. n00bish?

Getting to lvl 13 in pre for first time and doing everything, Then saying this game sucks, before relizing i still had the quest that told you to go to tydus and go to post-seering, i felt very dumb about this after the fact

A repeating n00b moment for me... selling stuff to the merchant, and clicking so fast I end up selling my ID kit and Salvage kit too

havin noobs tel u what a bad monk u r. gues what, ur not gettin heals or rez's

We were doing the Iron Mines of Moladune mission, first running to get infused. Of course we all kill the monster that drops that item you give to the seer, then you must talk to the seer to get infused.

We continue on and encounter some mursaat. One player charges ahead and dies very quickly. He then immediately responds with "where's the heals?". Now being the monk, I'm angry that he blames his death on me. I tell him he's not infused and there's no way in hell I could've saved him. He insists that he IS in fact infused. Another party member suggests that he check his armor and tell us if it says infused on it. The next message I saw on the screen was "PLAYER has left the game".

Heh, all these storys make me laugh.. i havent really met anyone too bad.. but i do have a funny story..

I was doing that mission where you have to get the two crystals and some guy comes a long into our group and tells everyone "ok follow my orders and we will win 100%!".. so being the nice monk i am i agree and so do all the others... well lets just say the mission didnt last too long, we leave the gate to get the first crystal (normaly the one people get second) and well... the team did just as he said, he would lead and we followed.. yup.. right into 3 angry mobs that lead us to our doom... ya.. we died with like 29:30 still on the clock.. all i can say is im glad my computer chair is like 4 feet tall or i would have fallen out laughing...

however in the next attempt he said "stand back and watch me pwn".. i was getting ready to see his health bar go down like nothign ive ever seen... but amazingly the words "random dude who im talking about has picked up vision crystal" and his healthbar had not been touched... well long story short we won the mission in no time flat and my monk was sitting back enjoying milk shakes enjoying the easyest healing job of his life

kind of like a sad story with a happy ending...

I've experienced a few newb moments. Like when I get bored and do some random arena, and end up with 3 warriors on my team using mending.

Back when getting into the HoH was a lot easier my group would keep 1 person alive and wait for the HoH message before killing him and we could usually get in fairly easily during the night ANYWAY we were letting some idiot war run around and he was taunting us and stuff spamming how we're noobs because we can't kill 1 war... We wasted his whole team in like 30 seconds. Anyhoo when the message came up he went down in 3 seconds, funny stuff.

*noob team gets owned*
Noob: ROFL NERDS GET A LIFE GO OUTSIDE I HAVE TO GO GET LAID NOW BYE
*noob has left the game*


Okay and 1 d2 one for fun, ignore it it's just me bragging about how much I owned noobs in d2.

*LoH-Pwnt has joined the game*
Noob1: OMFG IT'S A LOH NOOB ALLY LOL
*all 7 ally into 1 group*
noob3: ROFL STUPID LOH SCARED TO COME OUT AHAHA PWNED SAD UR PWNT
Noob2: ROFL LOH I PWN U HAHA
*LoH-Pwnt goes to WP and takes cold plains to find a trapper, noob4, spamming on it*
*noob4 has been slain by LoH-Pwnt*
noob4: ROFL ABSORB MORE NOOB
*noob3 has been slain by LoH-Pwnt*
*noob5 has been slain by LoH-Pwnt*
*noob6 has been slain by LoH-Pwnt*
*noob1 has been slain by LoH-Pwnt*
*noob7 has been slain by LoH-Pwnt*
*noob8 has been slain by LoH-Pwnt*
LoH-Pwnt: I win....
*LoH-Pwnt has left the game*

Personaly I get tired of seeing the word "n00b" typed out. It is over used and mostly mis-used. Yesterday I joined a group for Riverside mission. (I am a Mo/Ele 18) I told the leader that I was more smitting then healing, but I had some good heals and decent energy. He didn't have a problem with it. I told the team when I joined the same thing. Then they added the last guy and I stated my character again so he knew. We were already in the mission then.(They started it even though I said I wasn't fully ready) This guy got foul. Saying I screwed up my build and so on. I told him to relax. Take your time and play slower we will all get through the mission just fine. He kept it up. So I actually dropped out. My first ever in this game. I whispered him after I left and said if you would have kept your mouth shut you would have a monk now. Kept calling me a n00b and some other nice vulger language. I told him that is it I am screen capping and sending it in. He said message "so-n-so" that person is a friend of his and a developer on Guild Wars. Big Deal. Like that had any value to me. I did the mission with henches.

Then I joined a group for the Santum Clay mission. Told everyone the same thing. The last guy that joined went balistic called me a n00b..and quit. We went on to finish that mission. In fact these people kept going the wrong way even though the NPC kept *popping* in and showing us the way to the beach. Well as everyone was dying at the beach (For one..they didnt listen to me when I spammed 15 of 53 energy before rushing in) I stopped trying to heal them and I healed myself and the NPC buying time until He can get the darn boat ready. I then raced for the boat with about 10% health left and we moved on to the Oasis.

LOL... SOme of these stories are real funny. Keep them coming. Unfortunately I don't have many funny ones. The worst experience I had so far was during The Wilds mission.

Got a pickup group. Most of us had not done the mission before with the exception of 2 of them. Anyways, The Wilds is rather confusing if you don't know the way and the guy that had done the mission before kept yelling at everyone to follow him. So we did. For over an HOUR, meaning I saw the same tree like 30 times. It was funny. Other group members left, but after checking a walkthrough we finally found where we needed to go and finished in like 2 minutes. Did the mission again later on helping a guild mate through the two of us finished it in about 10 minutes. ha.

When you post this in trade channel:
WTS *some item* for 1K
And someone responds with. I'll give you 100gold and a yellow dye.
or...
How much you selling it for?
Hmmm let me check my post again. I forgot... lol.

As far as the word n00b being misused I agree. I got called a n00b for asking why people sell unidentified runes. Which I learned has something to do with PvP, which I havn't gotten into yet. Just PvE. Didn't think that actually made me a n00b. sheesh!

Every once and a while in random arenas, we'll get a warrior who dies becuase he thinks he's "godly". Now all you see is "Rez! Rez! OMG Rez me!" spammed. I or someone else ressurects him and then the we start to die. We ask for rez from the warrior - "Sorry I don't carry res".

Well once, I found this gold max dam storm bow, and instead of using the id kit to id it, I accidently used the salvage kit...

I had a funny group doing the Ice Caves of Sorrow the other day. My armor wasn't infused so before we started I warned everyone that I wasn't infused so I wouldn't be going near the Mursaat. Some didn't know about infusion etc, so there was a short discussion. Right at the start, there is a small group of mursaat so I drew a line around them and even typed watch out for that group.

Then a ranger decides to attack them anyway, dies instantly, the rest of the group attacks and die just as quickly. I ran to the top and rebirthed all of them to safety. Then the ranger starts attacking the monk demanding to know why he wasn't healed. No matter how many times I typed that the monk wouldn't be able to protect against it, they kept harping on the poor monk. Drew another line, showed everyone how to get past the mursaat, but 2 people still got too close and got instantly killed.

We never even made it to the ship, 2 people decided to run across the bridge and got killed by the siege engine. It was funny, but it was the 2nd group I was in that had 0 chance of finishing the mission, so I started to get worried. The 3rd group was awsome though, little to no deaths, we had a great leader and everyone listened to him we had a ton of fun so I guess you just need to be patient...

Are you LLD-Vampire?

Sort of a n00b tale...

Got home quite late from the pub the other night and thought playing GW would be a good idea...

Imagine E/N charging warrior like into massed groups, pulling down massed enemy hordes, calling ridiculous targets and generally being a danger to all around me....think at one point I even blacked out a bit and awoke to find myself attacking a siege wurm on my own...have to say though, the others in my group came to help..good guys!

Apologies to anyone who had the misfortune to end up in a group with me and special apologies to the group I managed to end up twice with....

I also have a nagging feeling I ended up in some disasterous arena games....

Found "Hunter's Ale" in presearing and drank it just before going into Academy.

I have a mesmer with monk as secondary. As I have unlocked nearly all skills for monk but never tried really a monk, I decided to make a PVP monk just for the fact that they always get picked fast in any PVP group and to see how people can be harsh on them. As of course, I'm a beginner in the monk arts, I decide to concentrate on healing people and cast a 1 or 2 protection spells and go in the random LA arena to try out my skills. After I feel quite okay and confortable with the build, I decide to head out to the Droknar's Arena so I can get into an equilibrated team.

I get this team containing 1 warrior and 2 rangers. We win 4 times in a row and one ranger is congratulating everybody saying "what a great team it is!". Then the 5th team we meet is quite similar to ours and we give them a good fight. The battle goes on for some time with neither team gaining any advantage, I had to use 1 time my rez signet to bring back 1 ranger. That's until the other team decide to send 2 warriors after me. So I think, here's the mistake from the other team, so I concentrate keeping myself alive instead of running so that my colleague can finish off the ranger and the monk in the other team. Surprisingly they can't, so after I drain my energy away, I naturally fall but get raised immediately by someone. However, my energy is lacking and I can't keep up with the healing, so the warrior falls. One ranger is in bad shape, so as I'm about to cast word of healing on him to bring his HP back, he starts running in the opposite direction of me with the result that I get automatically dragged toward the center of the crowd, so I have the cancel the heal to avoid being cut to ribbons. As a result, the rest of the team falls and I'm left alive. My rez signet is black but I still had the rez spell, but with a 8 sec cast, I know it's over. So I just do the emote /sit and wait patiently to be slash to ribbons. The ranger that ran opposite of me keeps yelling "REZ REZ REZ" and I just write that I already used my signet and it's over for now.

And then I get the now infamous "HEALER NOOB" and get booted out of the team when we go back to the starting point. So I understood that for these kind of people, when you win you're a hero and when you lose you're a zero and it's always the monk's fault :P .

2nd NOOB story is quite short. I went with this PVP monk in the Tombs. I automatically get invited in a team containing 2 monks and 4 warrior. 1 spot is left. I say "invite a mesmer or we will not be able to pass the NPC ghosts". I get the typical macho-laugh "yer crazy, mesmer sux" and then they invite another warrior to complete the group. After 5 min of battle against the NPC ghosts without any gain, people start dropping out of the group and I can't restrain myself from laughing, and I write "now do you understand why you need mesmers here! "

Now, I think I was a newbie at the monk art, but the attitude of people towards each other can be really nOOb sometimes :P .

This happened to me last night, actually. I dont know if he was a "n00b", but it was pretty annoying.
Piken Square mission, no one in my guild is on-line, so for the first time I opt to try and get other players. Me/N I am level 9 at this point."LFG mission" I immediatly get three replies, and they are all roughly within one or two levels of me.
"LFG mission - one spot left!"
So then this guy asks to join, and I let him... then see that he's a lvl 3.
"lol im rushing to yaks lol"

Can I tell you I wanted to have a fit?

But I calmed down, gave him the benefit of the doubt and said "As long as you hold your own and contribute, I dont care."

So what does he do? He aggros every mob he can, and when our W/Mo ressurects us, he demands to be first.
So she rezed him.

He aggroed all of the mobs, we all died again, and we didnt rez him again.

Needless to say, There is a different call up now if Im looking for a group to do missions.

******************

Okay, so apparently I was half asleep when I wrote this when I discovered that it was Fort Ranik's mission, not Piken... Piken doesnt even HAVE a mission....

I don't have any n00b moments of my own, none that i can remember anyway. I do have a n00b story that i heard awhile ago that cracks me up everytime i think of it.

Apparently this guy was in a group doing the mission "Gates to Kryta". The group was in the part with the poisonous swamp and a large group of undead. The entire group died except him (i think he was the monk, not sure) and the group was yelling for him to run away, but he found that he could not move. He kept holding down the forward key, but he just couldn't move. So, he tried to yell out that he couldn't move and what came out was "wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwI can't move!!!"

That cracks me up everytime...

Bleh yeah my LLD account name was that.

Then my forum account was LLD-Vamp for a while before Xircon banned it because he found out who I was.

I'm shocked to run into someone from uswest ladder 1.10.

Well you know how the henches name's change when you get to Thunderhead Keep right? Well I had this monk in a group running to the Grotto the other night who kept asking, "Mhenlo, are you protection or healing?" After several times with no answer (since Mhenlo is a monk hench and we were all too busy crying from laughing so hard) he got all mad and said, "Why will no one answer me!?" When I finally regained my senses I just said, "Mhenlo is a hench."

The monk didn't speak a word and immediately left the group when we got to the Grotto...

Heres a funny story for yall.

One day i was at my friends house playing Guildwars. He was a level 19 monk and we were in a party with these guys and of coarse a RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOy lil newb. Anyways i was killing all these things when he started to die. We were all busy fighting the hard things well he was dieing to these weak little things (forget name) So he calls for help and we dont help him. He then says You GUYS SUCK. MOST PEOPLE HELP THIER PARTYMEMBERS. YOU GUYS ARE PROBABLY THE WORST PLAYERS ON GUILDWARS. I OWN YOU. And then i offered a pvp and he logged out. LOL DUM EH? Have any stories about that plz share.

Don't make a thread out of that exact same post Ellis. O wait you already did.

Ive got a one similar to the origian poster's

I wanted to see if the Zealous mod worked while IW was up, and i already had a hilt i was just looking for a sword to try it on. I posted in the trade thing that i wanted to buy a really weak sword with no mods for 50g. So immediately i get this guy pm me he says come to tydus. I was suprised at how quickly i got a response and ran over to the guy. We open up the trade window and boom I see a Fiery Dragon Sword, 16-20 with a 8 req or something. I was like i dont want that, and he goes only 3k and im like did you even read what i said he left immdiately.

here are a couple of the things i hate most:

1.) when you're level 20 and you go to ANY pre-ascension mission city and get 40 blind group invitations

2.) when you're trying to sell stuff in Ascalon City and some random guy trades with you and offers 6 shit weapons and 43 gold for your max damage mursaat hammer that he most likely can't even use.

3.) when you just reached post-searing with your 2nd or 3rd character and everyone avoids you like the plague because you're the "new guy"

4.) when you're trying to set your healing skills as a monk and the group leader enters the mission or zones out not only before your skills are set, BUT BEFORE YOU EVEN HAVE 3/6 PEOPLE IN THE GROUP.

5.) when you tell the group you're a smite or protection monk. and promptly get booted for being a "n00b".

i hate this game sometimes.