N00b Stories

Hmmm...noob stories...damn these are all so funny. Aside from the usual run-ins I've had with gold dye traders (Noob: ill sell you the recipe its worth it), I only remember one noob:

Well I was helping a friend with Forgotten Ones/Wisdom and decided to invite others along just for the heck of it. I ended up with a warrior who HAD to have the 15 attribute points. Forgotten Ones was easy, but when we went through the portal south he decided that the best way to get there was going straight.

Me: where are you going?
Him: i'm going towards the star, you're heading the wrong way
Me: ok w/e

I run to the ramp up the hill, everyone else decides to follow him to the base of the hill.

Him: how do you get up there?
Me: lmao
Me: everyone get over here

Then while fighting he drops a Minor Vigor Rune. Deciding that he probably doesn't want it I pick it up, just cause I figured someone else could use it.

Him: why the hell are you taking my rune
Me: sorry didn't know you wanted it
Me drops a Rune of Minor Vigor
Him: your so greedy
Me: w/e i have a bunch of minor vigors, i don't care

He dropped right after he got the attribute points. Then I just ran around getting all the wreckage, and my friend and I enjoyed the view.

Hey, I pick up stuff if people drop them as well. Am I greedy for it, no. If someone else wants or needs it, sure, I'll give it to you. Also, if I have a rune or good item that someone could use in the lower end of the game, I gladly give it to them. It's not greedy to be taking an item that someone else drops. If they want it back, sure, you can have it back. Why let it go to waste though?

So there I was a monk in a party of 8 in FoW. 3 warriors, 2 monks, 2 elementalists, 1 ranger....and a partridge in a pear tree...I am mostly healing but some prot, so before my knight in Droknars armour charges into the frey I throw protective spirit and Healing seed on him (as he is nearing them so not to waste seconds)....well he attacks alright and then runs them back .....no not a little back away from another patrol....ALLLLL the way back. I guess he felt that the flame jockeys and I don't socialize enough and needed to make friends with an abyssal and a few shadows....So the shadows do what they are supposed to....HEX THE EVER LOVING CRAP out of the casters and just ignore the warrior (note i am not using plural). All of a sudden with spiteful spirit on a few of us casting like mad....peoples health is dropping faster than Lindsay lohans waistline....Well we survive, and after a spirited round of ressing we set off again. Well, I figured maybe he got spooked, he could have thought he was too far out....fine....HE DOES IT AGAIN, this time running through our group and kept going (and after we all chimed in with My energy is 5,6,10 of 45, 55, 85...etc) ....then stopped and turned around after passing us. Where is the other warrior you might ask....he must have felt that it was not enough of a challenge so he went to solo the rangers 3/4 of the screen away.
Note before people complain, though the hyperbole I was polite to tell him to try not to run all the way back to the casters...two three times....

Yeah...

What I love are people that think you need to have a healing monk to finish the mission. Few, if any, missions prior to ascension require a monk. Sure monks make it easier, but you can do it without them.

I also, as others have said, love it when I play my smiter monk and tell people... "Hey, I am a smiter and don't have many points in healing so please play careful and take your own self-healing skill" and they then proceed to run in to three mobs and yell at me for their death. I then, despite having the rez sig, tell them sorry no rez sig. You can tag along and watch while I finish the mission solo if you want.

I love the people who do stay, get credit for the mission, but then still call me a n00b.

lol

Oh, ok.

Well,... I was playing my Ranger yesterday and went to the first mission solo... then got to the second mission and felt that I needed one more person for fire power vs. the healers that guard the captives for the bonus. I have distracting shot and backfire, but still a little bit more power helps take down the healing duo. I advertise that I am looking for one more person... a person whispers that he is in. We start the mission... he then starts screaming that we can't do the mission just to two of us. Mind you I am level 9 about to trip the line to 10 and he is level 11. We proceed through the area and get to the path surrounded by two ridges. If you go left you can go up on top of one of the ridges and avoid getting pounded by two groups.. he says no he is going down the middle... I tell him that we will die from having focused fire on us... he goes anyway... 2 minutes later he is dead. He dies right in the middle of the 8 mobs - no way to rez him decause I would aggro the mobs to get there.

I go on top of the ridge and finish off the enemies. He says there is no way I can do the bonus alone... I say that I think I can handle it...

I do.

I tell him there are two is one tough part left - the boss who comes under the tunnel right after the bonus.

I some how get lucky and it is a caster boss this time (elementalist) not a melee or ranger boss. Backfire will save the day.

I toss backfire up, physical resistance and work the group over.

He starts screaming that there is no way I am going to rebuild the trebuchet by myself... I tell him that I agree but I will be just fine finishing the mission... he spams no way eight times.

I carefully sneak by the boss group and the large group by the fire... go to the second Trebuchet and fire... kill the boss and his group... MISSION complete.

I then get... WOW that was amazing.

well at lease some people appreciate a person who knows the mission well enough to no panic.

Well I was trying to do the Elona Reach mission with my N/E and had a string of really bad groups. I was wondering if it was just an unloved class thing so I get my monk who has already beaten the game and go there. I advertise that I am a monk looking for a group for the mission, and take the offer that seems most likely to succeed. The first thing a warrior does is run off when its just him and I that have loaded the area. He goes to fight the first 2 minotaurs and survives thanks to me. By then, all but one of the others have loaded and the other is just a elementist and we have another. So we go to the second group of minotaurs. This same warrior is still carrying the crystal and refuses to drop it and actually fight. Later on by some miracle we get to the second crystal on the top of the hill. He has died a few times for running past the first mob to attack the bosses and kill them. He says he has beat the game 5 times and its his 6 character. 1 person drops after everyone on the team but me dies because I ran off after I saw no hope. Unfortunately the only person I can rebirth without aggroing everyone is the warrior... I do this and as soon as he is alive he runs off to kill the boss again... I left shortly after that and get a pm from someone in the group saying they failed because of me... I tried to reply saying they failed from the start but was already ignored. Oh well no lose there.

I was doing Dunes of Despair, and was getting a group together asking for people to join. I get a message requesting to join, and I typed in /invite <persons toon name> and when he joined, it was a Level 12 W/Me. There were 2 others in the group already and everyone says something in regard to his level.

The Level 12 says it's okay, and that he was good. I really wanted to kick the guy, but felt bad, because I invited him, and figured that I had time and I would give the kid a chance. I say 'kid' because of the level, not because of RL age. He boasted having Illusionary Weapon. Eventually I got a group together and everyone is fine with the level 12 W/Me. I am not sure what spells the kid had other than IW. So we fight some mobs and all goes well, the kid is in the middle of all the melee.

We finally get to where the mission really begins, where the bridge is dropped and the mobs come up to meet us. Well, somehow both mobs come at the same time, and the kid is in the middle of it, all of a sudden his bar starts dropping, in about 5 seconds the kid was dead. The damage spikes were a third to a fourth of his whole bar.

This is what he said,

Kid: "WTF?"
Me: "You died, what happened?"
Kid: "Two enemies attacked me at once."
Me: "..."

All in all, the kid didn't do that bad, but he just had that one n00b moment.

Theres nothing noobish about that. Do you get an ego boost bad-mouthing polite people?

noob moment of a lifetime

we doing thirsty river, diverse group with a monk, all lvl 20 cept 2 19's

as soon as we start mission i specifically draw aggro lines on map (i know where they are because i solo it with henchies to know my way on the map when the time comes) anyway, i draw a aggro line up ahead, telling them to go to the side, some idiot warrior bum rushes up through my aggro line and we barely get all of mobs that unburrowed, since we needed the morale boost we were doing the next giant which is the first one to the side (easiest one, it is alone) WELL i draw another aggro line that is a little past the giant and tell them to NOT CROSS THIS LINE AT ALL, NOT EVEN A PIXEL MORE, and guess what happens? the same warrior bum rushes ahead, grabs a group of monsters, see's his mistake, runs back to everyone else, by then we were engaging the giant, and guess what? we all die because we get swarmed by these monsters, and the last thing i say before leaving was


"i told you not to cross the aggro line..."
a couple people laughed, this was not much a waste of time since it was the very start of mission....

HA! Thanks for making me laugh out loud at work!

not sure if this counts as a noob story but here it is anyway. i was doing the thunderhead keep mission.right before we kill dagnar or whatever his name is,we all clarify that no1 is going to light the beacons.right when it starts,nt saying his name but wish i could,picks up the torch.we all start screaming DROP THE TORCH!!!!he says y? and continues lighting the beacons.then he runs out and draws a mob to jalis.when he dies he said "we lost because you guys r n00bz suxxor!!!!!one!one"then he left.

Certainly qualifies from what I can tell.

Reminds me of the guy claiming the Mursatt have been weakened (in the first mission you meet them, prior to infusing) then trying to prove it by aggroing a group of them.

We didn't last long.

Sigh...

i do something very close to that, i sell so fast or salvage so fast i end up salvaging/selling my runes w/o an expert salvage kit

edit: 7 days of storm i cant enlarge the pic

Can I have some money?

Can I have some equipment?

-T

I'm not trying to be mean dude but this is a place to post n00b stories, not ask for free handouts. And I think, in general, that it is rude to ask people for free things in that manner. Even though we've all been there...Not Cool Dude

I think that he meant that those two phrases were one of the "noob stories"

I thought about that but up above it the title is "As a Noob Myself I'd just like to say" so I don't know think it was a story...but i proly got one pulled over on me

My moment was when doing Dragon's Lair for the first time. After the cut scene with Glint, I ran over to see what those dragon eggs were. Oops! Luckily the party was just me, my husband, and henchmen. My husband's very forgiving.

Oh, that counts. I beat Thunderhead Keep my first time through and in the months since then I keep hearing what a pain it is. So naturally whenever I have free time I take my monk over there and try and beat it with PUGs and have failed every time since. Yesterday we were close to beating it, even after a warrior dropped, and the monk who was on the east gate decided to go light the beacons even after we decided we won't bother with the bonus. We got overwhelmed, my energy hit zero and people just started dropping. Bah... we were so close. Even though I don't need it, I AM going to beat that damn mission with a PUG again.

well, the first time through dragon's lair i didn't know about how all the bosses carried skills to cap, so i didn't have capture signet on...so i decided since i got through the mission very easily the first time with henchmen, i'd just do it again and bring cap signet along. so i entered the mission, and got to the last area, and right after i killed the boss (i was trying to cap a warrior skill), i look at my skill bar...no capture signet.

i forgot to equip it! my n00b moment.

Once in L.A. I saw some moron trying to pass off an orange dye as black "uber rare" for 3k. I did what anyone would do: Pretended like I wanted to buy it, saw the orange color and orange label on the dye, and busted him in the local chat.

Taking the egg simly starts the bonus, I think.
Even if you die, you'll complete the mission.
I've seen a lot of people logging off after being dead because they think, defeating glint is part of the mission.

My newbie moment happened last weekend in the ring of fire.
Since I had been doing that mission weeks ago with my ranger and hemchmen only (I think it took 3 or 4 hours) I was very optimistic.
So I joined a team with my mesmer and we always took the long way, with all the spiders and imps and lava baths etc.
And since the nice vizier always pointed out that we should take the long road, nobody ever doubted that it was the right way.
Lucky us, on one mission we had a rather rude but experienced monk who told us, that taking the short road (oposing the viziers suggestion) would be the better one.
We trusted the NPC (vizier) more than our own instinct and we had never tried the direct approach.

My noob story is a while back i was partying near druids overlook, me W/Mo a monk and some other people all around lv 16-18. Anyway The entire party got wiped out part from one guy. Anyway i ask the guy left to ressurect one of the monks, he first responded with no im on a quest which i found rather odd but maganed to persuade him to come back to us. Anyway the dead Monk starts shouting "res me.. ohh please res me" being as he was a monk i didnt have any problem with that. But then when he was res-ed i asked him to res me, he then replied with... I dont have resseruct. AT this point i responded with "why didnt you say and allow me to be resseructed" he replied with "you should have said".

I thought this was rather noobish as to plead for resseruction without actually being able to res the rest of the party.

Well I decided to try and do riverside providance mission, heard it was fairly simple. Kill everything pretty much to complete the bonus. So I went there and this guy was calling out for experienced players to group with. I asked him what he ment and he said "experienced in the game and would not die." also I had to provide my own group, he just wanted to join an experienced group. Well I didn't bother cause he seemed to just want to ride on someone else's hard work. So I joined up with another group who wanted to do mission and bonus. Well we get into the mission and our leader did not want to do the bonus anymore and left as soon as we started to attack the towers. People started dropping so the rest of us decide to go and start over. Some of us from the original group, got back together again and guess who gets into our group? The guy looking for experienced players.

So we start the mission again, start attacking the first tower, killing the white mantel when all of a sudden the guy starts calling us all a bunch of noobs and drops from the game. Well screw him we all said and we "noobs" went on ahead and completed the whole mission without him as a 5 man/woman crew.

More of a whoops than a n00b moment.

I post things in the trade thread and get a couple whispers asking questions. Everytime I tried to whisper back to the person the game kept stating they were "offline". Then the person keeps whispering asking why I wouldn't answer their questions. ha... took me a while to locate thier toon in town and get them to join my team so I could tell them they were in offline mode.

Makes buying something kind of hard if no one can whisper to you.

i had that same problem!

Already posted here, but figure I should probably do some picking on myself for a noob moment...

Back when I first got the game at the beginning of May I joined a very nice guild. I joined and they already had a cape and hall by May 13th as well as a website with forums. Lucky me huh?

Well I'm reading the posts on the forums about how lovely our guild hall is a few days after I got the game. I just cleared pre-searing Ascalon doing every quest in the world because I didn't know that was the tut part of the game. I'm in Ascalon City (post searing) and I see our guild hall, but everything around it has fog of war. So I ask the extremely noob question, "How do I get to the guild hall? I see it, but it looks like it's on an island."

One of the more sarcastic people in the guild tells me, "Gather up the material and craft a boat." So of course me, the noob, starts salvaging everything for the next 3 hours from every Stone Elem, Gargoyle, and Grawl in sight for a chance to see our pretty guild hall. After I have a little of everything salvaged I ask once again over guild chat, "Ok, so I have some material, where do I craft the boat to get to the guildhall?"

Mr. Sarcastic was still online and I think if he could have died from laughing he would have. I'm still working on living that one down 3 months later throughout the entire guild.

A few recent ones for you and then a gem:

1) I started forming a party, and was getting a pretty good turnout -- a monk, 2 warriors, a R/Me I knew -- and I invited a friend, who was already in a group of 3. I wanted the monk and an ele, but accepting meant adding a 3rd warrior. OK, fine -- not the variety I wanted but I could compromise. Once in, the warrior says "dump the necro and get another W." The only necro, of course, was me (the party leader).

2) My Blood Necro also joined 2 recent parties for FoW of note. In the first, while grouping, the party leader said not to use anything which targets corpses (so no Well of Power / Blood) because another necro there had dibs. Then he asked if I had Blood Ritual. I answered that I was carrying Blood is Power, the elite version of Ritual, and explained that it had instant recast and was not restricted to touch. He booted me from the group and messaged publically "don't team with Sister Sin, she can't follow instructions"

3) In the other Necro / BiP party, I ended up having it out with a monk in the group who didn't understand the skill. Of course, it's a sacrifice skill, so I give up 1/3 max health in order to feed some pretty massive energy regeneration to the healers. I always make sure I'm over 2/3 health when I do this, so it's not life-threatening unless I'm instantly hit by a meteor shower. Finally, he says, "seeing as how u wont stop droping your health, I'm not healing u" (or something like that). So I proceeded to not feed him any energy. One tough battle down the road, he starts pinging "My energy is 2 of 42" "My energy is 4 of 42." The other monk, who likes to team with me regularily, was kind enough to ping back "I have Blood is Power on me" "I have Blood is Power on me." Even the warriors were laughing.

So we got through that skirmish, he agreed to heal me again, and I agreed to help his energy crises. Next major battle though: "why u droping u health u so dumb...."

4)
Welcome to my still-occurring newbie moments. If you see me run straight into a mountain and try to mash my face into it, you'll know I'm trying to type.

5)
Anytime I see these what is platinum questions, I always have to throw in, "I'll buy your platinum for 50g" for laughs. Enough so that some tell me the joke is getting old. But it did trigger the most memorable newbie moment I've personally encountered.

I let that quip fly once in Old Ascalon, and in a few moments, I had a trade window opened up. At first, I thought it was a typical random trade attempt, so I messaged the person saying "what is it you want to trade?"

Him (in the general chat area): "How do I trade u my platinum?"

This was shortly after the update which provided seperate windows for gold and plat, so I was able to instruct him to type a one in the box with the bar beside it. He did and offered it, and I was still in shock, thinking there had to be a catch. I offered my 50 gold.

Poof. Accepted. After a second or two of realization, I messaged him: "Would you like some more gold? I'm giving some away." Another trade window opened. I submitted an offer of 950 gold and told him to offer nothing.

Poof. Accepted. Him (still in general chat): "What u do? U took my gold!!!"
Me: "But you got your platinum back."
Him: "How u do that?"

I left the district and still don't know if he ever worked it out.

I took a screenshot of the last part, but it must have been before I purged the folder, because I can't find it.

Yeah, I would ask an experienced player in game to help you out and he may give you some cash as well. But yeah, being new to the game lists you as a new player, not a noob. A noob is someone who continually does stupid shit because he doesn't/can't learn and is basically a moron.

Noob:
used by those whose sole purpose is to inflate their ego while failing to acknowledge their own faults. This game went live April 28th 2005, and 3 months gives some of you reason to wear the badge of "noob, oh no not me?" There are stories of ignorance, lack of empathy, and "mine's bigger than yours" here. But few acknowlege that too often, they were noobs being laughed at by images of themselves.

Well, I've been playing since October 2004, and others have been following this game since the first E3 (before E34E). n00bs!!11one. (jk)

thats odd... i beat the mission with a PUG, lit the torches, got the bonus and we didnt lose one single guy. mabye because the crossbows killed 50% of the enemies

I've been here since world preview and betas. haha. It was awesome back them. Especially after the betas were over. Gotta love the fun things they did to end em.

alright heres mine:

i was starting a new PvE monk, so that i could solo UW. i got into ascalon, then got lvl 15-16 partners fro the missions until i got to yakes bend (i ended up soloing nolani academy, cause the warrior quit) well from yaks bend, a guildmate ran me to LA. i made my way to bergen on my own, then hired a runner from there to get me to ToA. she rushed right through the mobs and never bothered to avoid ANY of them. soon i realized she didnt know what she was doing, so i trailed closely behind her. eventually she died, and i ran my lvl 10 monk all the way to ToA. she didnt make us pay out of embarassment

Eh why even bother hiring runners. If you've done another character, chances are you can run. I ran my monk from ascalon to sanctum cay and picked up every mission and town spot except for riverside. It's what happens when you're bored and anti-community I guess.

I tried talking to the henchies in my party when I did the get out of pre mission for the first time. lol I felt like an idiot after.

Haha I talk to empty partys all the time. It's fun to try to get the henchmen to open up.

I was trying to find a guild, and I got into one with a rank of over 6,000 and most of it's members hadn't played in a while, so i left straight away. I found a better guild with a better rank, and then one of the officers of the guild I had left started lecturing me about how it was bad that I didn't want to "earn" the rank of the guild, and just wanted to join a guild so I would always win (the new guild's rank still wasn't that great tho). It was fair funny, I just let him yell at me while I kept playing. He eventually got bored and left tho.

Here's a story that'll make you laugh. Today I was working accending my second character, my monk. Thirsty River is one the most group problematic missions for accending. Ok so i'm this group and one of the Warriors starts running off (appartently he's running to ghost hero to speed things up... ) The rest of the group is getting mobbed and i'm trying to heal everyone as fast as I can. One ele dies, then makes the comment "I hope you're a healing monk" I tell him you were getting mobbed. (Btw i'm using divine boon along with Orison of healing so i'm healing for well over 120)

So here's the really funny part... The Warrior makes it to the hero no sooner after that, brings a whole mob of devourers with him, in the cinema scene you can see them attacking us, someone doesn't skip the cut sceen right away and when he finally does two people are already dead, and I just leave game. Back in town I make an new annoucement for a group that isn't a bunch of dumb a**es one guy from that group whispers me saying that i'm a idiot noob, blah, blah, blah. I just tell him that only noobs would do something stuipid like that and whatever else I said.

Later on me, a guy from my guild, a ranger, and fill-in henches beat that mission and got the bonus on one try. I should have just done that the first time...lol. Well, I finished accending and got through Dragons Lair...

that same thing happened to me with the devourers, cept we killed em

I love this one.

When monks blame other monks for not healing them.