N00b Stories

You guys do know that you can just remove the Windows key right?

I've been a noob myself at times with the whole chat window, trying to battle. I was saying something to someone in my group as we walked and some devourer popped up from the ground. I thought I closed the window but after wondering why I was just standing there doing nothing despite my frantic number button mashing...

"(enter conversation) 11111333344442222777711111"

I have done that a few times... never hit the window key but have tried to type in something and ended up popping up all the windows heh. Usually after being told by the leader to not approach the enemy nearby and me wishing to reply with "ok I won't" but ended up getting popups and the W button carrying me right on into their midst.

Yeah but I use it for other stuff so I just leave it. It doesn't happen as much any more. It was mainly when this keyboard of mine was new. I wasn't used to the Windows key being between my Ctrl and Alt keys.

note the sarcasm.... and it should end with die... and take you sword with you after i killed him 3 or 4 times :P.. i think his group were rezzing him on purpose

I had to lol, my big monkey paws always bumped it on accident when I used to play EQ.

I remembered another one. This one was in pre-searing Ascalon City:

someguy: "Selling Belt pouches for 200 gold!"
me: "You can get one for free right outside in a minute!"
someguy: "No you can't!"
me: "Just get 5 river scales and give them to the trader"
someguy: "Its worn belts you noob!"
me: "It's scales for the one right outside. Go look if you don't believe me"
someguy: "WORN BELTS! You haven't played very long have you?"
me: "You apparently haven't stepped outside and talked to the Collector"

It went back and forth a bit more. He never did seem to believe me.

ok, im not sure if this is consideder a "n00b" story or not but here it goes...

I just finished ascencion my second time and am at the mission with all the dragons and glint. I form a balanced party and off we go. After killing the first dragon, i SPAM a message saying not to go through the portal cause i had to can and of course someone does. Then when we enter the second area 2 of the mesmers stop moving and an ele. after waiting for them for a bout 5 minutes i realaize they are just stow-aways along for the free ride. We are too far to restart so we keep pushing ahead. once we get to the mesmer dragon they start helping agian. after capping their skills they both drop. After PMing them about how nice it was of the to drop out, we continued on our way. with six people i though we could still do it. But then 2 ele's drops after capping their skills. Needless to say we die in the next area and i stopped playing for awhile, untill i got the energy to try and from another non-noob group.

This was in pre-searing:
him: WTB SILVER DYE!!!
me: i have silver dye
-he opened trade channel-
him: how much do you want?
me: 1k
him: WTF UR A N00B THIS IS PRE-SEARING!!!!!!
me: ok bye then....
-10 sec later-
him: WTB SILVER DYE!!!!!!
me: Listen people, hold on to your dye, they will be worth a lot more in post-searing
-he whispers me-
him: STFU N00B DONT YOU SEE IM TRYING TO SCAM THESE PPL!!!
me: i know....

And then i left........

doing a UW 4 man smite run, saying "experienced UW Trappers only"
we go down, we trap, alls good, then after we kill the first 2 attaxxes, the guy runs around like spastic and gets us all killed.



doing free runs from court house to yaks bend, im there i go
"free run to yaks bend"

a second later

noob PM "f*#^ off, this is my place, go somewhere else"
noob general chat "Running to yaks bend, 250gp per person!"

just sad

Why is it that everytime one of these morons loses an argument they suddenly decide that claiming that they know someone who was involved in making the game will help their situation at all?

I swear I've had idiots make that claim a dozen times since I started playing, one of them earlier tonight. Some have even threatened that I'd be banned just for disagreeing with them. As if any real friend if the development team would be so stupid and blatant enough to establish that fact, only to threaten to use powers he does not have.

I was doing Hell's Precipiece on my Ranger to capture that last pesky elite, GC.

n00b ranger:Ranger LFG can increase max life and give armor bonus!!
Me (Whisper):Hey you know Fertile Season increases everyone's hitpoints, even the monsters.
n00b ranger: rofl no it doesn't dumbass


It continued like that for awhile, I gave up.

I was in Pre-Searing with my second character and saw this message:

"WTB MAX DMG STORM BOW!"

Now, here I'm thinking. If this guy actually played through the game before to know what a storm bow is, how does he expect people to have one in Pre-searing?

Yeah I like going to places where people are wanting to sell things or run people somewhere for money and I'll start into a whole "doing missions for free" or "anyone want some free runes?" cause I have over 20 runes no one seems interested in buying so I give them away.

Now I don't know if last night, everyone was drunk but some of the most weirdest, dumbest questions ever being asked... were being asked.

I'm in Iron Mines of Moladune seeing if someone can run me to the Grotto near Thunderhead cause I heard 15k Aeromancer was sold there for my Elementalist. I'd like to buy that and have that infused when I do the mission. What do I see?

"Can someone run me to Mines of Moladune?"

I quickly typed in. "Um... welcome to Mines of Moladune, pretty quick huh."

In Nolani Acadamy, someone was asking what LFG ment...

unless someone has already come up with it, I started using LFR (which I think I made up...) means, Looking For Runner

You guys think the "wwwwwwwwwwwwI can't move!" is bad...

My ventrilo talk key is left shift. As you know, typing in ! @ # or $ activates the general, guild, team, and trade chats, respectively. Generally I use the number keys to use my skills, so if I'm trying to talk and use skills at the same time, well I end up just opening my chat, so the first day I was using my new talk key, you'd see...

Asp Lode(1): 14@%%51wwdaWDSEa321saw1566I think I'm lagging out
(Trade)Asp Lode: #@#dsa89821111111111wtf
(Team)Asp Lode(1): a3a3aaa3sss3s3s33ss3s3s
(Guild)Asp Lode: wwww454444ah crap
(Guild)Fish Gills: What?
(Guild)Asp Lode: WWWsw@@sas!%

Eventually I got used to it, so I just let go of the key when I use skills, but that frequently means that half of what I say gets cut off when I have to stop to heal someone.

(Ventrilo, Me): "Mesmer on--"
(Ventrilo, Guildy): "Who? On who?"
(Ventrilo, Me): "Get the--"
(Ventrilo, Me): "My targ...no wait new tar...everyone..."

Eventually I just moved my talk key to mouse4, and everyone's happy.

...oh and I can totally relate to you accidentally typing something out without a chat window, and you open up every single menu, spammed all across your screen. Like, you'd have your chat thing accidentally up, you typed your "wwwwwwww122314" and you're like "oh, crap!" and hit enter real quick to type something like "I'm lagging" or whatever, but instead, you chatted your command spam, and now your character does a little dance and you open your skills list and quest log and friends and worldmap in the middle of a fight.

Most of the times I try to get a group for a mission...

Me: Who's the healer?
Everyone else: .....
Me: Should I equip some healing skills?
Everyone else: .... (or alternatively: 1 SLOT OPEN FOR MISION)
Me: I have resurrect too, if we need it...
Me: Are we doing both the mission and bonus, or just the bonus?
Everyone else: ....
Me: What kind of skills do you have, E/R type of person?
E/R: ....
Leader: OK EVERY1 RDY??+
Me: Wait a moment, I will equip some different skills...
(Leader presses "Enter Mission" as soon as he/she has finished typing the last line)

Right after the mission has started:

Guy 1: WHO HEALER
Guy 2: CAN ANY1 REZ
Guy 3: R WE DOIN MISSION AND BONUS 2
Me: Wait a bit
Everyone else just rushes forward

Then usually everyone rushes head-first to every possible enemy mob, gets killed sooner or later and bitches to each other about being n00bs.

Him: WTB rush to maguuma stade!
Me: How much you paying?
Him: 2k
Me: Is this the farthest town you're in so far?
Him: Yes...
Me: Bibi... that ain't worth it!

(he was in grendich courthouse)

This is by far my favorite personal story in my GW experience:

Doing Borlis Pass, and we have a 20 monk, some ranger, a warrior guildmate of the monk, some necromancer, and me (another necromancer)...So we go through much of the mission with the ranger and monk bickering at each other the whole way, and eventually we get to the gate with the catapults and Ice Golems and the monk decides to stop and do nothing. Of course, the warrior joins him in doing so. The necromancer stays silent while I try to nicely convince them to get going and help while the ranger and monk continue to trash talk. We clear the gate, and at this point I lost it and started in with a few cuss words myself, which I now regret ^_^. So the ranger, necro, and I continue on and about halfway between the little town and the big becon the necro stops and says he's reporting me (he really did) and the ranger for guess what: LEECHING. I defend myself and say it was the monk and warrior leeching, at which the necro drops. I die, the ranger finishes the rest of the mission alone, and 3 hours later, I get suspended for about 5 hours for intolerable bevavior. Afterwards I spoke with the ranger, and it turns out he never got suspended or even so much as warned (we're friends now actually.)

I just laughed.

My best NooB experience was bringing a character from pre to post sear.
Im sure that many ppl have more than 1 character and just want to get out of pre fast. I was lvl3 and 2 others were lvl 2 and 4. A fourth person W/Mo who shall remain unamed was lvl 4 or 5.
We were in the academy getting ganked by a lvl7 Me/Mo and the W/Mo in our party was screaming Blah blah blah (edited for kiddies) noobs and so rofl. Hmmm Like we cared doing the academy...
So we get to the mission and he dropped hahahhaha lol, We finnished easy and went post np.
Oh and also classic comment from noob caller...I have a lvl 20 war, blah blah blah and you are all noobs hehhe
Now I have his name in friends list, have to send some wispers(NooB)

People who make simple grammar mistakes, such as you going to u, that irritates me and people who can't spell, ilike htis u nkow, ahahaha htis gmae si 1337. Most people who know there stuff can spell right, but the simple grammar mistakes I can understand, but the spelling, unless typo which you can tell because it's only used about once in a sentence, not every word like most people do. But the best noob stories will always come from monks, because whenever a party dies, all the warriors who think there awesome say it's the monks fault for not healing. There are some pretty good ones on here, many of what I have experienced from before. I can't recall on all the ones I had from being a protection monk, but I got quite a few that are a bit lengthy, but pretty much similar to all the ones explained here.

It's "their", not "there". Also, why do you have two "but" clauses in this sentence? Oh, and the phrase "unless typo which you can tell" is not a shining example of proper English grammar, either.