Support's view on potentially abusive behaviour

I really hope there is something we are not being told about this incident.

People who initiate conflict are going to be repeat offenders. There is a progression of conflict initiation that starts this way: First you start responding to other people's provocations. Next, you start reasoning that non-provocations are actually good causes to retaliate. Lastly, you become a person who initiates fights.

People who retaliate are closer to normal. People who retaliate 'silently' are ideal. Note that this is not a case of non-retaliation, it's a case where the person prevents the escalation of the event by removing the aggression from the initiator. Failing to respond 'silently' will often get you attacked more when faced by an aggressor. Note that silent, does not literally refer to 'voicelessness' but it refers to 'no anger'. Anger can be detected non-verbally.

Forced turn-the-other-cheek rules are the easiest way to get people to hate the policy of turning the other cheek. People who turn the other cheek have trained themselves naturally to do it. The people who do this don't even have internal restraints holding them back. There is no sense of retaliation within them; it never so much as creeps to the surface. Telling someone that they need to restrain anger will not work. They need to redirect it.

And shame on you if you went to a dictionary and argued that one time offenses are not technically harassment. That's what criminals do. They know it's wrong. They know by technicality they can get away with it.

master fuhon, your my heeeeeeerroooo!


@op...anet didn't ban him because they agree with the offender that your a carebear. in fact, they probably called you a carebear behind your back.

Asura are rude to me and Gadd keeps harassing me. Anet, pls ban!

what you said: everyone here who is saying "get over it they're just words" must be trolling because in "i got banned QQ" threads these same people say "you deserve it for using bad language". i'm paraphrasing but i made sure to include your use of the word everyone to emphasize that what i said invalidates your theory.

what i said: i express the same opinion in both kinds of threads. i went into detail and described my point to you, which is that words are never responsible for any offense one might take upon hearing them. i support free speech and argue against banning for language in both threads. therefore what you said is wrong.

I'm disinclined to call the word "fag" a "slip of the tongue." It takes deliberate effort to type "fag" into the chat. It takes deliberate consideration of the possible effects of the word to type it.

It may be the only insult that a person has in his or her arsenal. Everyone's a fag, everything remotely unpleasant is "gay."

But this was a deliberate use of an offensive term. It was a violation of the LETTER of ANet's law, and we're left to guess at the spirit, based on the responses Upier got from support.

And while you're all busy suggesting he "grow a pair," and impugning his possible reactions should this happen in real life, we haven't addressed the difference in manners that the online game allows. Many people, displeased with something, won't pause for a moment, and then call someone a "fag" or something equally offensive at McDonald's. The anonymity of the online game has allowed mannerless behavior to go unpunished.

Instead of attacking the poster, why not deal with the following:

1. So the term is not offensive TO YOU. Can you imagine a situation where even a single use of the term is offensive to someone? If the answer is "no," then defend that to us.
If the answer is "yes," then such use of the term is a violation of the EULA, and anyone is justified in /report.

2. If an action is offensive (see 1, above), what are the steps any member of the community is morally bound to take to stop that? Perhaps none. (the ignore button, the chat filter). Perhaps personal measures: retaliation or discussion with the offender. Perhaps appeals to higher authorities.

But I don't think strangers have earned the right to call anyone names (as my more combative students have said, "You don't know me like that!) (This is different from friends, in whatever contexts, calling each other names), and I think a) /report is a valid response, and I really think a member of A-net support dropped a chance to establish the strength of the EULA and protect the game experience from offensive behavior.

If you really want to get him banned, just send this to Gaile and add some QQ story that you have low self esteem and people call you a fag and it really hurts you or something. And Gaile will "look into it" and he will probably get banned.

On topic: Support isn't consistent, one person won't get banned for calling someone a fag and the next day someone will get banned for saying f**k.

YOU turned off your chat filter, YOU deal with it.

"You may not use sexually explicit, harmful, threatening, abusive, defamatory, obscene,hateful, or racially or ethnically offensive language."

Hmmm. Fag is seen as a harmful, abusive and hateful word. So I wonder why Anet is deciding to go against their own rules? Haha oh wait! I forgot it's okay to do that if you do it in team chat or whisper. Of course, silly me. It's only 1 time and isn't bound by the rules. Why have rules if you don't follow them.

I think it's not the OP that needs to grow thicker skin, or at least him only, but also the ones who'd get reported and banned for it. What can't go 3 days with the game? Hey man if you can't do the consequence and be a man about it, why make the shoddy comment?

Is upier 6? Was the person insulting him one of his parents? Was the person persistent in their insults, categorically marking him as worthless over a period of years?

No?

Then what you just said is completely different and irrelevant. It's comparing one small slap to beating someone within an inch of their life.



In relation to the topic, I'm shocked at how many people actually support this report and think the guy should be banned. I can only assume you've all had fantastic childhoods that one single word like this is causing you major traumas.

Ok I knew this thread would result in flames and counterflames, overshadowing some well-reasoned and objective thoughts.

I'll just give my personal opinion on this matter, without casting judgment (on others in this thread, that is)

If I see someone in-game, who isn't in my alliance, insult me in a childish manner, I'd consider it more of a reflection of that person's immaturity than a personal affront. Kids and immature adults/adolescents love to hurl insults hidden behind their monitors to sound (not) cool or be (not) funny or get a rise out of people. That's never gonna change.

I don't see very much difference between reporting someone for a one-off rather mild insult and reporting someone's name as offensive. I guess I don't give a rat's ass how a punk-ass kid relates himself to others anonymously.

There are boundaries and lines to these sorts of things, but I put those at the point where virtually anyone with a reasonable mind would agree that they've gone way over the edge and have incriminated themselves to such an extent that they are asking for a ban.

To the OP, I'd say I'm sorry someone hurled that insult at you for (I think) no good reason, some people would rightfully be very offended by that. But not in this situation. You've stated that you pursued the matter and then left it alone, so it shows you are reasonable. So let's stop with the carebear labels other ppls.

I'll make sure you get an invite!

So you're approving the use of abusive words such as fags as long as it's not repetitive? I wonder what that says about your childhood...

Or maybe we find it pretty ridiculous that people have been banned for doing the same thing, or even lesser acts than the one the OP described, yet they basically tell him he has a filter and he should use it. If that was the case what about all the people before him who have been banned for saying 'fag', 'retard', 'cocksucker', etc. etc...

Why wasn't their response to those simply just, you have a chat filter, go use it. They said the chat filter is no excuse for bad language and it won't be tolerated. So why is this case tolerated and others not?

Sounds like there are a bunch of cry babies on GWG. He called you a "fag". I was called worse things for my skin color in elementary school.

I'm sorry but are you comparing a parent telling their child they're useless to a random person on the internet calling you a fag? That's a horrible analogy. A parent telling they're child they're worthless is going to screw that child up, and possibly push them to suicide. If someone gets seriously emotionally hurt because someone on the internet called them a name, they have already have problems and shouldn't be playing online games. I'm not saying insulting others on the internet is right, I'm saying that's the way it is, and always will be.

The emotional damage of being made fun of can last you forever. A punch in the head most likely won't give you enough physical damage to last you forever (unless rampage punches you in the head).

But on the internet, yeah, words shouldn't hurt. The only time I can see words hurting is if you tell someone something personal and they make fun of you for it.

If you used the word I'm thinking of, there's a difference between calling someone a fag and calling someone a racial slur. The word fag is rarely used to insult a homosexual, people just use it as an insult to others they dislike.

Isn't it odd that on the internet that you're the asshole for calling someone out (or reporting someone) for their asshole behavior?

A huge huge majority of the people who act like jerks only do so because they're anonymous... and if they did it in real life, it would probably be a mental health issue that requires meds or treatment by a professional. Risky Ranger said it so well I would like to repeat it: Anonymity is no excuse for bad behavior. Never is, never will be. Ever.

However, that being said, I've been on the Internet for so long, that insults no longer register on my radar. I figure that the person behind them is some pathetic moron whose life has such little meaning outside of the game, that they have to have hissies and throw tantrums if things don't go their way. So it's their issue, not mine.

I am reviewing a list of all the people who have wronged me over the last four years and am currently preparing a schedule of one word insults to fling at them in private chat..!

I think it is just a case of a GM not wanting to do their job. If I were that GM I would hope ANET reps are not reading this post.

Or maybe ANet can't ban every single person who calls someone a name on the internet. Personally, I don't want them to. Who wants to play a game where the carebears and people who get butthurt over insults on the internet get people banned everytime they see someone calling another person a 'naughty word'?

Maybe my example of verbal abuse was a little extreme, but it was meant to show that words really can hurt.

The word fag may be used as you say but it is still a derogatory word and a shortend version of faggot; def: Used as a disparaging term for a homosexual man. Now I know there will be people who will bring up the 10 or more other definitions to defend the use of the word, still won't make it right.

My personal response would have whispered to him you are an a-hole and put him on ignore.

Are you really going to compare verbal abuse by a parent with that of a comment by an anonymous ass? Really?