What's The Stupidest Thing You've Heard While Playing Guild Wars?

Karate Jesus

Karate Jesus

Forge Runner

Join Date: Apr 2008

Texas

Reign of Judgment [RoJ]

Me/

Quote:
Originally Posted by Illuminated View Post
Myself: Uh, guys, we don't have any healers...
HA Team Leader: Yeah, so? The best teams in HA don't need healers. All they use is AoE Eles and ****.
Myself: Don't use cussing to excuse your terrible team selection, everything in GW needs a healer. *facepalm*

I left after that, no use explaining to someone who just won't listen.

Another one was one of my friends attempted to justify his use of a W/N and tried to explain that even with the limited Energy of a Warrior, you could still have such skills as IP and still be able to use SA and FT in his sword build. Had to explain to him politely that energy management and Warriors don't meld well together.
Actually a lot of people fame farm with pure spike builds (with no healers). So your leader wasn't THAT far off. The fact that he said "the best teams" is funny.

My contribution:

Jetdoc

Jetdoc

Hell's Protector

Join Date: Jul 2005

The Eyes of Texas [BEVO]

D/A

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zahr Dalsk View Post
It's more sad than funny.

jacolink

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Jul 2008

A/R

A few weeks ago, in kaineng center i saw this:
''Someone please give me some money, i only have 340k (or something like that) and i don't feel well when i have less then 500k''

The beggars are thinking of new ways to get what they want

Sword Hammer Axe

Sword Hammer Axe

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Jun 2008

Look up.

Kurzick Conflagration Unit [KCU].

W/

Quote:
Originally Posted by jacolink View Post
A few weeks ago, in kaineng center i saw this:
''Someone please give me some money, i only have 340k (or something like that) and i don't feel well when i have less then 500k''

The beggars are thinking of new ways to get what they want
You gotta give him credit for his spirit XD

Zahr Dalsk

Grotto Attendant

Join Date: Aug 2007

Canada

Random guy on xfire suddenly messaged me:

Quote:
[18:52] 3v1ll337: WTS Torrmented sword perf and sheild perf inscribvalble
[18:52] !Zahr Dalsk: k
[18:52] 3v1ll337: offer
[18:52] !Zahr Dalsk: dunno, how much are you selling it for
[18:52] 3v1ll337: sword 100 30e sheild 40k
[18:53] !Zahr Dalsk: what skin is the shield
[18:53] 3v1ll337: torrmented
[18:53] !Zahr Dalsk: and you're selling it for 40 platinum..
[18:53] 3v1ll337: nop bye
[18:53] <This user is now offline>
I was rather bemused.

Zodiac Meteor

Zodiac Meteor

Imma Firin Mah Rojway!

Join Date: Aug 2008

At the Mac Store laughing at people that walk out with anything.

E/Mo

I had something similar happen. Except it was some crappy gold item for a prize.

Quote:
*He put's in 27k, some useless greens*
*I put in 100k, tormented shield, 21 ecto's, 15 stygain gemstones*
Me: I win.
Noob: lol, I was joking about the axe, sorry
Me: k, thats fine.
Me: *Presses accept with the 100k, ecto's and gemstones.*
noob: *Presses accept with 27k and useless greens*
noob: HA HA, I'm super rich now!
Me: woops, your right, can i have my stuff back please?
noob: hell no, you pressed accept retard
*noob checks item window*
noob: WTF???? where is your stuff?
me: i'm a mod, i took it back.
noob: wow! you can make anything happen can i have 100k?
me: sorry, I'm a retard that presses accept.
*ignores noob*
ROFL, I wonder if I should of told him you can't carry more than 100k?

Qing Guang

Qing Guang

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Nov 2008

California

Lucid Spirits [LIFE]

N/A

This was me trying to set up a PUG in Gate of DEsolation the other day. We were about to leave, had finally gotten ready to go after a false start when someone ran through the gate into the explorable. We talk to the mish starter, and he says the necro can't come. Hilarity ensues:
Quote:
Me:[Necromancer] isn't this far yet?
Necro: no
Derv: smart
N: lol
Me: yeah.
Me: so.
N: ummm
Other Ele: wait, tell me where u at
Me: how close are you to finishing?
N: I need to do venta semetery
Me: hoooboy
War: not close at all lool
Me: that's like 5 mishes ago?
E: gtfo man
N: lol
E: u got a long way
N: later guys
Me: good luck
N: lol i know
D: aaahh
N: i dont know how to do it
N: so ya
W: lets do dis
E: hit leave
N: i dont do it
She finally leaves. *sigh* I trudge up to the mish guy again, who proclaims that the War isn't ready either. All remaining party members lose hope for humanity:
Quote:
Me: [Warrior] can't come either?
Me (frustrated): Lordy... will it end??
E (equally fed up): WTF
Me: please don't tell us you're for Venta too
D: aahhh
E: or worse, docks
Me: ahaha
W (clueless): ready?
D (anxious to leave, oblivious): rdy
Me: Ahahaha or Chahbek Village
E: [warrior]
Me: it won't let you come
Me: did you do the quest?
D (sooo out of it): lag!!!
W: y not
E: [warrior] wat's the miss u are on
Me: you haven't done the quest?
W: which
Me: Crossing the Desolation
D (totally doing his own thing): lag!!!
E: have u seen kormir
W: jennur's horde
E: god dammit
D (finally paying attention): sigh
W: im on jennur's horde
Me: oh you need to have done that or nundu bay before this...
W: no it's past here
Me: what?
W: i have to do this first
Me: no you don't, you have to do Jennur's Horde first
D: wrong way
W: i cant with out geting thorupgh this
Me (now genuinely PO'ed): JEEZ WILL SOMEONE ACTUALLY CHECK WIKI FOR ONCE???
Me: or just follow plot, God.
W: i can't with out getting thorugh this
Me: Jennur's Hored is in Vabbi...
Me: garden of seborhin
E: port there
D (out of it again - is this guy on drugs?): i like vabbi
W: no i need to go here first it is on the other side
Me: no you need to go there; the quest should take you there
D: did you help koss or meloni
Me: Desolation =/= Vabbi
D: lag!!!
Me: you need to do Heart or Mind: Garden in Danger
W: yes
W: i hvent been there
Me: then go to the Garden of Seborhin
W: i cant
E: go to tihark
Me: if you did the quest it will put you tehre
E: and then go from there
Me: *there
W: wat mission do i need
Me: but you are a looooong ways from home, friend
Me: Seriously, if you are that confused, just wiki it
Me: it will telly you all you need to know
Me: I always did Nundu Bay so I can't tell you much about that one
W: i dant wanna lol
Me: go to the stupid map marker then!
E: dude, u cant come on this mission, so u have one of 2 choices
W: waere is that lol
Me: LOOK ON THE BLOOMING MAP
W: fo wat
W: wat am i looking for
Me: the MAP MARKER
Me: y'know, the little green sunburst thing that is ALWAYS THERE WHEN YOU HAVE A QUEST
W: o i have that
Me: then go there!
W: i cant
Me: why
Me: ever
Me: not
W: i havent been there
D: lol why ever not
W: i got to go this way to get there
Me: GO TO THE CLOSEST PLACE AND BLOODY WALK!
E: go to tihark orchard and go from there
Me: no you don't
Me: trust us, you don't
W: this is the closest
Me: listen to [Other Ele]
Me: for God's sake, trust me, it's not!
W: i promise
Me: go to TIHARK ORCHARD
E: everyone leave and regroup
Me: then go SOUTH
Me: and WEST
D (random - seriously I think he was on drugs): i hated thiark
W: un less itws the refuge thats closer
Me: NO
W: then it is this way
Me: THIS... IS... NOT... HOW... TO... GET... THERE!!!
W: take me there
Me: NEED I SAY IT ANY MORE SLOWLY?
D: omfg lag im gonna kill u (the lag)
Me: I can't, I'm not leader
W (party leader): ill make u leader [he leaves]
E: add and go
D: stupid internet
Me (evil grin): oh, that was foul trickery, but it worked
D: wow
W (in All chat): add me back
Me: do I dare?
E: HELL NO
Me (suspicious of W): don't want to get reported for some random thing...
E (whisper): he is just being stupid to bug us
Me (whisper - not entirely believing ele but whatev): yeah you're probably right
Me (Party chat): ah screw it, add a monk and let's go
He didn't seem like the griefers I've met, but I'd hate to think anyone was that dumb. Anyway we all had a good laugh. He was still begging me to show him how to get there when we entered the mish.

Jonii

Jonii

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Jul 2009

E/N

Quote:
Originally Posted by Qing Guang View Post
This was me trying to set up a PUG in Gate of DEsolation the other day. We were about to leave, had finally gotten ready to go after a false start when someone ran through the gate into the explorable. We talk to the mish starter, and he says the necro can't come. Hilarity ensues:

She finally leaves. *sigh* I trudge up to the mish guy again, who proclaims that the War isn't ready either. All remaining party members lose hope for humanity:


He didn't seem like the griefers I've met, but I'd hate to think anyone was that dumb. Anyway we all had a good laugh. He was still begging me to show him how to get there when we entered the mish.
That post gave me a headache. Guy talking in circles.

Just last night, I was about to H/H a mission in Nightfall when this Assassin tries to join my party. I figure "Oh, he must want to tag along for the mission." As soon as I add him, he tells me I have 10 seconds to kick all of my heroes and henchmen. Interested in seeing where this ended up (usually hilariously with this kind of player, and I was very bored yesterday,) I kicked the henchmen, kept the heroes, and asked why. He didn't ping me new hero builds, he didn't add his own, he didn't even give me an answer. Then another guy wants to join the party, so I let him in. The sin says "add that guy, he's a monk."

The Assassin then told me I needed to "kik mox, they say he's weak."



I told him he was just as good as any other Dervish hero. Eventually, I start to ask the guy why he keeps ordering us around, and our conversation went like this:

"look, I already finish this campgn"
"So did I, on another character. I'm working on this one, now."
"I even finish all 4 campains"
"So did I."
"u got proof?"
"What?"
"add vekk."
(I add vekk, he fails to notice for a few seconds)
"joniii add vekk"
"I did."

Eventually we get to the mission where you try to sneak into Vabbi through the caves. You have to wait for Dunkoro and the corsairs to finish talking before you can go. The sin says "hurry up" and then leaves the game a few seconds later when the NPCs were almost done talking.

I was also in a pug for FoW the other night. We had a Derv who kept running ahead and dying. Eventually, he finds out we're casual players who only do FoW every once in a while. He starts dropping comments like "i cant babysit you children all day" and telling us we're noobs for not memorizing the run on the wiki page. Before long, his comments had almost the entire party leave the game. "wtf's wrong with them? we can't do this 3 man!" he says. That's when I left, too.

EDIT: Ah yes, and during the AB Double Faction weekend, I had a guy tell me not to complain that the territory line is in Kurzick territory all the time now because "the map changes every 2 hours, idiot. We'll be on Luxon maps soon, because it's on a rotation. No such thing as losing or gaining territory."

boris the blade

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Jun 2008

Rt/

Giving wings in Gw for buying Aion.

Juguard

Juguard

Frost Gate Guardian

Join Date: Apr 2005

The Last Empire [TEvL]

R/

Quote:
Originally Posted by boris the blade View Post
Giving wings in Gw for buying Aion.
I agree.

"The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 12 characters."

glacialphoenix

glacialphoenix

Desert Nomad

Join Date: Jul 2008

Singapore

Royal Order of Flying Lemmings [ROFL]

Mo/

Quote:
Just last night, I was about to H/H a mission in Nightfall when this Assassin tries to join my party. I figure "Oh, he must want to tag along for the mission." As soon as I add him, he tells me I have 10 seconds to kick all of my heroes and henchmen. Interested in seeing where this ended up (usually hilariously with this kind of player, and I was very bored yesterday,) I kicked the henchmen, kept the heroes, and asked why. He didn't ping me new hero builds, he didn't add his own, he didn't even give me an answer. Then another guy wants to join the party, so I let him in. The sin says "add that guy, he's a monk."
*facepalm.

One time I got bored and went to pug Imperial Sanctum. There was a 'sin who wanted to try out her Shiro-run bar, and was completely prepared to solo it for us free of charge, and more or less said so.

Completely oblivious idiot: Hey. HEY. Why do we have another 'sin in here? What's with *insert various irrelevant points* KICK THEM! -- rinse and repeat ad nauseam - he would not stop making noise.

'sin: ...well, then, you can jolly well do it on your own. *rage

Everyone else: ...YOU IDIOT.

(And in case you were wondering why I was PUGging Shiro - well, it was a long time back, 'kay?)

StormX

StormX

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Nov 2005

E/Mo

i think he meant dishonor..?


this guy was pinging on the map over and over.


dumbest scam ever?

Short

Short

Lion's Arch Merchant

Join Date: Jun 2009

Protectors of Fate [GoF]

N/Me

Not whilst playing but "is pvx destroying the game?"
Still giggling.

Sword Hammer Axe

Sword Hammer Axe

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Jun 2008

Look up.

Kurzick Conflagration Unit [KCU].

W/

Quote:
Originally Posted by StormX View Post
dumbest scam ever?
Can it be called a scam when he didn't even lie? He asked for 2 k for map travelling himself. That's... actually what he would do XD

King_GhOsT

Jungle Guide

Join Date: Dec 2006

Canada

[oR]

W/

One day I was doing the naked Warrior dance at JQ for some reason, not really sure why..... I then get a pm from some kid say "ewww gross, stop that" I find it kind of amussing so I ignore the kid and continue about my dancing, then I get spammed "stop that" over and over again by the kid..... I continue to ignore him cause Im loving it. He then messages me saying "I just reported you, sorry". I go to message him about its part of the game, or something like that and He had logged off. Needless to say I never got banned and I never heard from the kid again

Damarus

Pre-Searing Cadet

Join Date: Nov 2005

I would respond, but every day I can log into RA and say "Now that is the stupidest thing..."

KiyaKoreena

KiyaKoreena

Desert Nomad

Join Date: Jun 2005

USA

Kirins of Holy Light

N/

Good thing they described what they wanted.


While not as funny as the shoe and dress stalker, had to give this one points for a smooth intro.

Qing Guang

Qing Guang

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Nov 2008

California

Lucid Spirits [LIFE]

N/A

So I'm running around in Gunnar's Hold just now, looking for more quests to pick up. The chat is full of run ads, as usual, but one sticks out:

Quote:
Running to Gunnar's Hold 100k
I'm sure they were joking... but for a second there I was worried about the future of the GW populaiton.

Loot Junkie

Loot Junkie

Lion's Arch Merchant

Join Date: Jan 2007

in a utopian dream

clan dethryche[dth]

N/

Every once in awhile I take my necro and 3 necro heroes down to Thirsty River to help people with the mission. A few weeks ago I got a couple newbs on my team and the level 18 ele goes: "uh, I dont think we need 4 necroes on the team". When I tell him not to worry about it he boots me from the team, I guess he never heard of discordway before lol.

killerms

killerms

Pre-Searing Cadet

Join Date: Apr 2006

looking for new guild atm

W/A

"will you srsly marry me in real life if we meet up sometime"

An ex-friend who's now in my ignore list for life.

Voodoo Rage

Voodoo Rage

Desert Nomad

Join Date: Mar 2008

Sacramento, CA

Geezers

R/

Quote:
Originally Posted by killerms View Post
"will you srsly marry me in real life if we meet up sometime"

An ex-friend who's now in my ignore list for life.
A female friend of mine who is 34 is engaged to some 19 year old kid that she met on World of Warcraft and has been having a long distance relationship with for all of 3 months... :facepalm:

Zahr Dalsk

Grotto Attendant

Join Date: Aug 2007

Canada

Here's one from ArenaNet:

Quote:
<player's team / guild name> has one a battle in the Hall of Heroes.
Really, why would we care?

Sir Seifus Halbred

Sir Seifus Halbred

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Oct 2006

Red bar is the same guy speaking. (Note: Not the same guy in second screen shot)



The guy thought and was hoping I was monking, just because I was Me/Mo.



By the way, the title of this thread should be changed. You can't hear what people are saying in Guild Wars, unless you're on Ventrilo. Seeing as how this thread contains screenshots of chat.

payne

payne

Desert Nomad

Join Date: Apr 2007

england (currently located on the south coast)

R/

being very lazy, haha
nah....getting a run from beacons to ascalon - got quotes 5k - being very lazy today I said "sure" - met the "runner" in beacons, were he told me to pay the full total before he started the run...seriously think some scammers just get dumber every day /facepalm

payne

payne

Desert Nomad

Join Date: Apr 2007

england (currently located on the south coast)

R/

>.<

someone in LA a-e-1 saying
(first person) to get allegiance to the kurzicks you have to "play through factions get to HzH and pledge allegience to them...but to do that you must be guild leader"
(second person) "i am guild leader"
(first person) "you must also give them 500g and sacrifice your weakest guild member to the forest gods"
(second person) "well i have the 500g - but I think i'm gonna have to organise a 1v1 tourney to decide who to sacrifice"

i hope (second person) was joking about thinking you have to sacrifice someone (although his lack of sarcasm was worrying) and also the 1v1 tourney part made me wonder - IT ACHIEVES NOTHING >.<

good times in LA

madsGW

madsGW

Academy Page

Join Date: Apr 2009

Denmark

Me/E

this:

"WHY cant i use ursan in randoms arenas???????!"

"srry im lagging"

esthetic

esthetic

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Apr 2008

Fantasy Island

[Qtie]

R/Mo

However… (You knew there would be a "however," didn’t you?) Should it fail the stress tests, it would mean the fix didn’t take because the bug goes deeper than we hope, and that would be Very Bad. If that is the case, we will be faced with a high probability that this bug is not something we can fix. Nor can we redeploy the Xunlai Tournament House with this database bug outstanding. So, let’s all keep our fingers crossed, and I'll keep you updated on how the testing is going once it gets underway.

Sword Hammer Axe

Sword Hammer Axe

Wilds Pathfinder

Join Date: Jun 2008

Look up.

Kurzick Conflagration Unit [KCU].

W/

Quote:
Originally Posted by esthetic View Post
However… (You knew there would be a "however," didn’t you?) Should it fail the stress tests, it would mean the fix didn’t take because the bug goes deeper than we hope, and that would be Very Bad. If that is the case, we will be faced with a high probability that this bug is not something we can fix. Nor can we redeploy the Xunlai Tournament House with this database bug outstanding. So, let’s all keep our fingers crossed, and I'll keep you updated on how the testing is going once it gets underway.
Lol
12chars (muthahumpa)

Philoupette

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Jun 2006

bSk

In the last mission of faction's noob island, I played with a N/R petmaster, using only power shot. After the mission, I tried to convince him that his build could be slightly improved, by using necro skills for example

I felt all the frustration in his answer :

"I play R because my death magic is broken ! BUG"

Benderama

Benderama

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Jul 2008

UK

[Rage]

Rt/

(it's not really funny and the guy might've meant the +1 attribute mod but...)
some guy in a party in gates of kryta said he needed a wand because it made his spells better. he was an ele that didn't have a weapon as well.

Aussie Boy

Aussie Boy

Alcoholic

Join Date: Mar 2007

Australia

W/

When you are drinking and the text shows up like "I love you man"
Had some dude come up to me in LA and say what u gay then launched
into all this tirade of language cause i kept "calling" him whatever the text said
above my head.
I was pissing myself laughing and he said he would report me for harassing him
even though some others said in local it was the drink text not mine but he wouldn't listen.
This was about 6 months ago.
So funny.

fubar knobby

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Nov 2006

W/N

this one made me chuckle .
guy, whats the best looking axe?
me, in my opinion pyroclastic for male warr,
guy do you have 1?
me, yes,
guy, how much?
me, its not for sale sorry,
guy, then why are you even talking to me me you noob retard,
me, because you asked what was the best looking axe you didn`t say you wanted to buy one, meet my ignore list bye bye.

payne

payne

Desert Nomad

Join Date: Apr 2007

england (currently located on the south coast)

R/

in GToB A-E-1

"come on little kids, I have sweets for you all....
come on kids - gather round and we can all dance together"

I spilt my drink I was laughing so much - god dammit the pedo's are taking over the MMO's haha

bugallnot

Ascalonian Squire

Join Date: Feb 2009

First guy: haha, man, how old are you?
Secound guy: im 13
First guy: Nice, im 14. Glad youre not some kid like 11 or something
Secound guy: yeah, I hate kids like that.

Shortened down the discussion a bit cause I cant remember the details but having 13 and 14 year olds talking about hating kids in games was pretty hillarious stuff

StormDragonZ

StormDragonZ

Desert Nomad

Join Date: Jan 2008

New York

W/R

I like to hang out in the Great Temple of Balthazar and type "WTS ZKeys 19.5k each."

If you've seen that, that's me!

Stupidest thing I've heard so far in GW: People who tell me I'm "scamming" and I'm going to be reported for that.

fowlero

Jungle Guide

Join Date: Jan 2007

England, UK

We Are The One And Only [rR]

Not "entirely" dumb but it made me laugh at how stupid it is.

Unendingfear

Unendingfear

Academy Page

Join Date: Mar 2009

D O M I N I O N [WARS]

D/

I was in Boreal Station, and some guy was Party Searching "LF Girl Friend!" Now, I happened to be using my only female character I have, so he decides to whisper me me. He also starts following me from city to city. o.O When I tell him "Hey, I'm a guy, this is my only female character." I never hear back from him. LOL

Obrien Xp

Obrien Xp

Krytan Explorer

Join Date: Jan 2009

Canada

The First Dragon Slayers [FDS]

I was walking around on my female perma sin. I was in Shing Jea Monastery. This male warrior in all his armor minus shirt helmet and cape ran up to me and said...

"hi, I'm tony"
me:"I'm brien"

he left and wasn't heard form again :P

Also, sometimes when I'm getting bored of recruiting I'll go to another town and start there, with this message...

"LFG The First Dragon Slayers [FDS] is recruiting! We are SEXY and MYSTERIOUS! (party search)"

eyekwah2

eyekwah2

Academy Page

Join Date: Jul 2009

Martyrs to the Flame

Rt/Me

We had a Mesmer ping his build only to find out he had Illusion of Pain as his only hex and Shatter Delusions. I inquired about it, hoping that I had indeed misunderstood the purpose of his build but alas he said that he would hex'em with Illusion of Pain and then remove it with Shatter Delusions for damage.

When I told him that Illusion of Pain heals when it is removed, he said he knew but that he figured Shatter Delusions would counter the heal. Then I asked him why he didn't use Conjure Phantasm and he said that it didn't have enough degen. /facepalm /kick

AngeliqueSynner

AngeliqueSynner

Lion's Arch Merchant

Join Date: Aug 2008

Florida, USA

Sacred Storm [Strm]

N/

In Kamadan AD2 I was selling booze last night.
A stack of aged hunter's ales for a wicked bargain, apparently.
And one of the would be buyers coun't figure out why I was charging more than the worth of a keg.
He went on for about 15 minutes trying to tell me that a keg was worth more drunkard points and that I was trying to rip people off.
I got frustrated and told him it was sold and blocked him. O_o¿